Working Train ...

An UNBELIEVABLE Voice ...

This young woman is a veteran of Canadian Show Business.
She has been singing professionally for over 16 years.
She has just released her "third" album, with two additional "live" albums.
Her single "Weak In The Knees" is firmly entrenched in Pop Charts in Canada.
She is Canadian.
Her name is Serena Ryder.

And MOST remarkably of all - she is only 23 !!!

Reviewers have described Serena's voice in glowing terms comparing it's deep earthy tone to the likes of Janis Joplin and Aertha Franklin ... she has even been described as "an old soul" who has been here before ... listening to her sing, it's hard to disagree!!

The 15 songs on this "debut" album are all very different from each other, and together highlight nicely the vocal range of this young woman, who's career is just beginning ...

Click below to hear her rendition of "Good Morning Starshine" ... on the second go through in the van coming back from Brandon Ms H was singing along!!!

ENJOY!!!

SUCCESS!!!!!!!!!!!

Wandering through Zellers in Brandon today after Ms H's dentist's appointment,

I came across a table heavily laden with left over Halloween Candy.

"I wonder if there are any Halloween Kisses?" I pondered aloud.

Ms H. tapped the table in front of me ...

AND THERE WAS A HUGE BOX of

the elusive Halloween Kisses !!

I could have bought a dozen 500g bags, but refrained

and bought two bags to go with the

two lowly kisses that turned up in our

Trick or Treater's bags,

and

the other two that were so delightfully given to me

by Lisa and her little Trick or Treater R,

who both gladly offered their haul of kisses!!!!

A Musical Interlude ...

It's been a very long day ... I've driven into Winnipeg and back to meet with my Psychologist, and the Focus Group as part of the directed study I am undertaking within my suspension ... The drive alone was exhausting ... two and a half hours in conversation about the circumstances of the last couple of years has left me BAGGED ...

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So, with no apologies - rather than blogging, I offer three songs that speak to my soul right now ... Songs that carry me to places of peace and serenity and most of all bring a smile to my face ...

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Pour a coffee, a glass of wine, or whatever you need and take a few minutes to just listen to the music ... let it wash over you ... let it carry you ... take a moment to pause in your day ...

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I'll be back tomorrow ... for now ... I offer these three musical videos for your viewing pleasure ...

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First is Daniel Powter with one of my favs ... Love you Lately:

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Then comes a video of Harry Potter and Hermonie clips set to Maroon 5's She Will Be Loved:



And last, but certainly NOT least is Rufus Wainwright singing Leonard Cohen's amazing song Hallelujah:

One Last Thought for Remembrance Day ...

One of my favourite monuments to the War Dead is the Cenotaph tucked alongside the river in Stratford. Designed by the same sculptor who gave the world The Vimy Memorial, I've often used images of the beautiful bronze figures in posts about the fallen in Afghanistan. The two figures convey much in their stance and posture ... They offer a visual contrast between Might and Defeat, perhaps found most vividly in the futility of war ...

I've previously shared some of the background and history of the monument (click here to read more), and I've shared some of the information about Mr Allward that I learned earlier this year. (click here that article)

Today after reading a brilliant and subtle entry over at "I can fly, just not up," the thought occured to me that it given that today is a day for remembrance it would be a good time to revisit Mr Allward's stunning sculpture that has stood in Stratford for the last 80 years as a legacy to those who marched to war and never came home ...

Watching Cats Drink ...

I spent most of the day sitting at the kitchen table working on some short stories that have been floating around within me for the last few weeks ... where I sat at the table has a prime view of the water dish for the cats ... over the course of the day I was able to observe all three cat in our home come to the proverbial watering hole for refreshment ... I noticed they all have a very different style and approach to something as basic as water ...

Chloe, the oldest, and the matriarch of the feline clan, approached the water dish taking note of EVERYTHING and EVERYBODY in the immediate vicinity ... then when she decides that all is clear, she approaches the dish and remains in a standing pose ... she floats over the dish with her whiskers keeping her face well clear of the water as he tongue stretches down to the water and delicately laps while her eyes remain open and vigilant ...

Diesel, the grand old man of the house (Chloe is 14, and Diesel is 13), approaches the dish like a man on a mission. He scratches at the floor around the dish as though he is removing any dust, stray hair or other debris that may be lingering on the tile floor ... once the floor is clean he then crouches at the edge of the bowl with his paws wrapped around the outside edge ... he leaves his tail stretched out behind his prone form and he hunkers down over the dish covering much of the open surface with his sheer bulk ... he then closes his eyes and enters a zen-like state as he satiates his thirst while protecting his precious water source from all comers ...

The youngest of the crew, Ms H's cat Chrysanthemum, the feral member of the clan, approaches the dish like she approaches life - boldly and unrepent ... she crouches over the dish, her muscles tense and ready to spring, or flee ... but as she begins to drink she first uses her paw to start splashing the water and forming waves that slosh across the dish ... then when the waves are cresting over the edge onto the floor, she lifts her paw to her mouth and licks it dry, and repeats the action over and over until she, like her mates has satiated her thirst ...

All in all, Chrysanthemum has the most unique approach to the act of drinking ... but each cat, like their personalities, have a very distinctive way of quenching their thirst ... from the same bowl ...

Overall though, watching the cats move through their days, and engage in something as mundane as drinking water is a remarkably relaxing way to spend time during the day ... I recommend it highly !!

Fun, Food and Learning ... I see NO downside here!!

The issue of poverty and hunger has popped back on the media's radar screen this week thanks to the Liberal Leader Stephane Dion's announcements about addressing the issue of child poverty in Canada when his party becomes the national government ...

Today though, I found a fascinating story about a website that allows the visitor to have some fun, learn some new words and help feed the hungry in our world, all in one marvelous fell swoop!! (click here to read the article)

Freerice.com donates ten grains of rice to the United Nations Food World Food Programme for EACH word you guess correctly !!

THAT'S RIGHT !!!! you can improve your linguistic skills while simulatneously helping to feed the hungry ...


Ten grains of rice doesn't sound like much, but the game is kind of addictive ... I think I managed to donate somewhere in the neighbourhood of 3000 grains this afternoon ... and learned a few new words along the way !!!
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I can honestly see no downside here except perhaps spending way too much time in front of the computer ...
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Click on the picture above to start playing - Then HAVE FUN!!!

Ms. H. & I Went Walking ...

Today at lunch time, Ms H. and I took the dogs and headed off into the blustery wind for a long walk out and around the corner of town ...




The rose hips, withered in the wind, yet still coloured bright red offered a startling splash of colour along the trail ...

Despite the cold and chill of the relentless wind, the three of them found the energy to play and run ...

The Buffalo were unimpressed by our presence ...

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The two muskrat sitting on the edge of the ice on the river and the male Canvasback bobbing in the background were unfazed by the dogs ... but the dogs were DESPERATE to have a playful visit with the rodents !!

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The pedometer I wore told me we walked close to 7 kilometres ... it was a pleasant way to spend some time on a blustery autumn afternoon.

Today ...

At the 11th Hour of the 11th Day in the 11th Month, the guns of August fell silent, and the world took a collective breath ... words were spoken, treaties were signed, commitments were made, and peace was heralded ...

It was to be a lasting peace ... The War to End ALL Wars had ended and humanity had learned its lessons ... now would be a time of unprecedented peace. Swords would truly be beaten into ploughshares and the prophetic words of peace so oft and so easily spoken would at last be lived rather than just shared as empty rhetoric ...

Oh, were those hopes to have come true ... In time the world would slide into an economic depression ... in time the drums of war began to pound ... in time the world began to move towards a greater conflagration than that which enveloped them in the early years of the Century ... in time another war would begin ...

The words of peace still linger ... whispered ... spoken ... and offered in hope ...

The dead lie in far away fields reminding us of their sacrifice ... the words of the poets and prophets float through our collective souls as we pause ... pin on a simple red poppy ... and take time to Remember ...

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To remember the fallen ... to remember the lost ... to remember the cost of war ... to remember the preciousness of peace ... and to remember the men and women who stand on the line this day ...

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Today ... we remember ... Lest We Forget!!

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And we continue to hope that perhaps one day, humanity will finally learn the way of Peace and learn war no more!!

A Pittance of Time ...

This song ALWAYS brings tears to my eyes ... When I hear it, I think of my Grandfather, my dear friends Laverne, Jim and the dozens of men and women I have had had the honour of meeting who have served our country on land, in the air, and on the sea ...

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The men and women who have served in places with names like Yrpes, Vimy, The Somme, Dieppe, Hong King, Cassino, Juno, Kapyong, Cyprus, Sinai, Bosnia, and now Afghanistan ...

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This weekend many stories crowd into my thoughts ... stories carried in the hearts and minds of men who came home and never forgot those they left behind, and the horrors of war they endured on our behalf ...

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Tomorrow we ALL should take a pittance of time to remember:

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LEST WE FORGET !!

Not the Marge of Lake Labarge ...

But the assorted gaggles of geese taking up residence along the lake in Minnedosa has brought out mixed reactions ...

Today I've heard people express sympathy for the feathered fowl braving the chill of the water and the cold of the ice ...

I've listened as others express surprise at the tardy schedule these migrating masses are adhering to this season ...

Others share the frustration of hunters waiting in the south for the bounty they wanting to claim ...

and still others have nothing but contempt for these geese that bear the name of our fair land ...

However you feel about them, Canada Geese are a beautiful presence in the wild during the spring and fall migrations ... they make their presence known with their deep resounding 'honk' and the straggling 'v' formations in the sky ... and the droppings they tend to leave behind for the unwary ...

Soon our lake will ice over and our geese will wing their way south for another winter ...

I think Aldo Leopold said it best when he observed a field greeted by the lone honk of an arriving goose, is drab no more ... an icy lake hosting hundreds of the honking creatures is simply sublime !!

An A-Ha Moment ... Scape Goat or Identified Patient ...

It's funny how life's lessons roll in ...

This week I've been reading Rene Girard's Book The Scapegoat, and mused on it previously around here ... and yesterday I had lunch with a friend and the subject of my journey during my suspension came up ... Our conversation ran hard against the many rocky shoals and reefs that are lurking in the context of this community and my directed study programme ...

I found myself frustrated in trying to share my thoughts and reflections and learnings without inflicting further hurt to myself in the process I find myself part of ...

The conversation, not surprisingly, ended badly. My friend maintained their contention that I am too judgemental and am unwilling to consider the perspectives of others ... I tried in vain to point out that I CONSTANTLY consider the perspective of others, and weigh that against my perspective, my understandings, my learnings and things that I've read, and draw my OWN conclusions accordingly.

My friend then said - "yes, but you don't allow people to have their own opinions ..."

I balk at that - and I perhaps always will - because I will always allow and welcome and even celebrate the opinions and perspective of others when they share them and when they are WILLING to engage in a conversation that enriches BOTH of us. If they want to beat me over their head with their opinions and perspectives and maintain that their view is the ONLY one that is right - well ... yeah, my friend is right ... I won't tolerate that, not because I reject the opinion, but because I REJECT the BEHAVIOUR.

I came home from the conversation and as I stepped in the door to put on my biking garb to hit the trails for a quick and very cold bike ride, I said a prayer that God would help me put into words the thoughts and feelings I'm struggling with ...

Later when I came back I laid down on the couch and picked up the book "Generation to Generation" by Edwin Friedman, a book that I had handed to me last summer during my leave, and that radically altered my take on the world and on ministry ... and a book that my friend and fellow blogger The Laughing Pastor has been referring to, and that he and I have begun to discuss ...

I doubt it is a coincidence that I opened the book at random and found myself reading a passage that likened conflict in a family, a group or even a faith community to illness in the body. Friedman compares such conflict to an illness like diabetes that is being badly treated.

Spiralling, uncontrolled blood sugar levels lead to complications and side effects that begin to cause systemic problems ... He cited the failure of the kidneys as a means of understanding the role of the Identified Patient in the psychology behind this ... The kidney fails because of the OTHER disease processes that are running amok in the body ... an the kidney (and the body) requires a transplant for overall health and wholeness ...

He notes though, that if the body fails to amend its behaviour and engage in a healthier lifestyle, the transplanted kidney will soon be regarded as a foreign body, and will be rejected like the kidney it replaced ... Rather than blaming the kidney, a skilled doctor would point out to the patient that is the WHOLE body, that failure was inevitable due to THEIR reluctance to embrace the required change to ensure the success of the surgery and transplant.

Friedman advocates a systemic approach to the illness ... instead of treating miscellaneous symptoms, one should begin to treat the WHOLE body and address the hidden underlying issues to ensure the health not only of the Kidney, but of the whole body as well ...

It's such a basic concept, it says to me - IT AIN'T GONNA WORK !!!!

Nonetheless, I continue to plod my way through Friedman and his thinking ... seeing more than a few parallels to my experiences over the last three years ... The failure of the "kidney" in a body system is too often blamed on the kidney rather than allowing the blame to be posited and bore where it belongs. It's akin the process of scape goating that Girard has so eloquently outlined in his works, and that functions effectively well in too many modern settings.

What really stood out for me yesterday in the passage I read were the words Friedman offered that in so many ways embraced exactly what I was trying to convey to my friend about the frustration I am currently feeling. Friedman's words spoke the sentiment I feel watching as I continue to watch the fingers of blame turn only to me, while the systemic problems and the actions of OTHERS remain outside the focus of discussion and action arising form the 333/363 and everything that has followed ...

Friedman describes the scape goat process quite effectively when he writes:

In a family emotional system, when an unresolved problem is isolated in one of its members and fixed there by diagnosis, it enables the rest of the family to "purify" itself by LOCATING the source of its "disease" in the disease of the identified patient. By keeping the focus on one of its members, the family, the personal or congregational, can deny the very issue that contributes to making one of its members symptomatic, even if it ultimately harms the entire family. ... it is exactly the process of displacement that the coinage of the term identified patient was designed to prevent.

Talk about an UNFAIR Advantage ...

I've heard of sports teams having a "Ringer" in the line up, but this image that appeared on the front page of the Winnipeg Free Press, is a little over the top !!!

I will readily admit my loyalties in the CFL fall firmly with the Hamilton Ti-cats, and even though that allegiance hasn't given much celebration of late, I still cheer on the Tabbies even as they lose ... BUT ... having lived in Manitoba over the last seven plus years, I've been one of the Fair Weather fans who follow the Bombers particularly when they are having a good season ...

I never imagined though, that someone like the Dalai Lama followed the Blue Bombers!!! But according to the article accompanying the picture - a picture that is NO DOUBT being happily passed around the Blue Bombers camp as they prepare for tomorrow's game - the Dalai Lama signed some Blue Bomber gear in Tibetan with the words - "Victory to the Blue Bombers" when asked by Winnipeg Business man David Asper.

Not sure I'm comfortable with the connecting of someone like The Dalai Lama with the mundane pursuits of professional football ... but whatever ??? It's an image that helps to make you smile ... and that is never a bad thing ... I'm sure though the Blessings of the Dalai Lama would lie with both teams, but are also a reminder of what is really important in our world ... and I doubt football really makes the radar for him beyond a novel past time ...

So however it turns out tomorrow ... good luck to BOTH teams!!

OH Fug !!! The Hip Norman Mailer is Dead ...

Bombastic, Controvertial,

out spoken,

unrepentent, and

HUGELY talented.

Norman Mailer, in his 84 years of life

has left countless articles and essays,

over 40 books,

some very very good, and some not so much.

He has left his mark on the world,

political, literal, and theoretical ...

... he will be missed.

Thankfully his writings and thoughts will remain.

The War on "Terror" continues ...

Okay ... quick review on the actions of the new face of President Bush's War on Terror:

- marshall law imposed
- state of emergency declared
- opposition leaders under house arrest or arrested for treason
- military and police in the streets
- freedom of the press curtailed and limited
- highways and means of travel shut down
- elections postponed
- freedom of association denied
- civil unrest in the streets ...

... Hmmmm ... and this is happening in the heart of one of the "good guys" in President Bush's so-called War on Terror ...

I wonder, is the War on Terror transmorgifying into a War OF Terror perhaps ??

Guess it depends on whether you're a share holder in an Oil Company, an exec for a Trans-National Corporation, or an ordinary citizen in some little country like Pakistan, Iraq or Afghanistan ... I won't even mention Sudan or Nigeria and their troubles that are largely ignored in the media ...

Makes you wonder what is really important doesn't it ??

Is eliminating Terror a relative thing?

To learn more about the situation in Pakistan click on the links below:

CNN

Pakistan, Prince of Denmark

Our Man in Pakistan

Bell Tolls for Bush's "Freedom Agenda"

Oh oh ...

Some days the universe is a small place ... Today listening on CBC radio to the news of a 58 000 gallon oil spill in San Francisco Bay, fouling the beaches of San Fran and Oakland, while leaving thousands of sea birds covered in goo, turned my thoughts to the blogger Aerophant who is a resident of that area ...

No word on her blog yet of what's happening on the ground in and around her home turf ... no doubt she and her cast of characters are affected, simply by the devastation unleashed by the environmental impact - something we all should be concerned about ... but for now, CNN is providing coverage of the accident, the spill and the clean up ...

I can't help but think that such moments should cause us ALL to pause and consider the foot print we leave upon this planet ... and whether we are a malevolent presence, or a benevolent one ... I think it's hard to convince the birds, seals and other critters who have long called the bay home that humans are a benevolent neighbour right about now ...

Tonight's Dessert ...

No one can remember the LAST time I baked a pie ... I can't even remember ... it might have been in Bella Coola ...

But this afternoon I hauled out a bag of apples given to us by a friend, whipped up some pastry, cut up the fruit and using my Mom's recipe pulled together a yummy apple pie ...

I wanted to post a picture of the WHOLE pie, but it didn't last long enough, and I was too slow to be able to provide the picture ... instead, by the partially empty pie plate, I let you draw YOUR own conclusions on the pie itself ...

Turning of the Seasons ...

We never quite got the pumpkins dealt with ... one of their kin was boiled down and made into pumpkin for pies or muffins ... the other three will make their way to the compost bin ...

But today before they could be cooked or moved, the snow gave them a make over ...

I guess it means winter is well and truly on its way ...

... oh well, I guess spring is only SIX months away!!! (startling thought eh??)

Today's Bike Ride ...

When I rode my bike to today's Rotary Meeting it was cloudy and overcast ... an hour later I came out to find this:



I was left with no choice by to bravely (or crazily - it all depends on perspective) ride my bike home through this (and that AIN'T gravel in front of the bike!!!):

This is what the road conditions looked like in places:

And when I got home this is what my sweatshirt looked like:

And this is my very frigid face as I completed the short ten minute ride in the snow:

So ... THIS is directed to my friend in Texas, the Laughing Pastor ... Bring your bike up to Manitoba buddy, and I'll show you what REAL bike riding is ALL ABOUT !!!!

That's What Friends are For:

On Sunday evening I sent to my circle of friends, and family an email explaining to them the delightful turn my life has just taken ... On Sunday afternoon a Congregational Meeting of Minnedosa United Church, voted to hold a second meeting to consider the recommendation by some to "end the Pastoral Relationship without cause."

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In laymen's terms it means the congregation will meet in a couple of weeks to consider FIRING me, though in the United Church we don't use such blunt language. Instead we opt for the softer, gentler, "to end the pastoral relationship without cause."

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Over the next few days I am going tell my side of this story ... I am going to reach back to the beginning of this and share some of the experiences I've endured and confronted. I will offer no excuses for the past, but rather a point of view that has been ignored, overlooked and drowned out in the passage of time ... But first I want to share some of the emails I've gotten in reply from my friends and my family - emails that speak a courageous voice about the status of the modern church ... I will never claim to be innocent, but I am taking my lumps and facing my punishment ...

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I've learned in this United Church of ours, that - JUST BECAUSE EVERYONE ELSE SAYS IT'S RIGHT, doesn't make it right ... Faith is NOT about votes and politicking - faith is about living the WORD of the LIVING God, not just one hour a week - BUT - EVERY DAY !!! And that is the message I hear from my friends over and over ... and that is the kind of faith I have always tried to live.

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So, for now - a letter from a dear friend who shares a profound wisdom taught by life's bruises:

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I find myself thinking the Church has done it again! We wonder how children have been abused, and so many wrongs have been committed in the ‘name’ of the Church. Until organized religion, including the United Church gets ahold of itself and realizes its true purpose, you do not belong there. You are about what is right and good, what is faithful and holy. You believe in the walk that is true to Jesus. You will continue that walk of truth, justice and love no matter how you earn money and care for your family.

The Church will continue to deny its own truth, will continue to refuse to face its own issues and will continue to serve the purpose of the PERSON on the board instead of its DIVINE PURPOSE. How much more energy do you want to give to that? – to that which refuses change – the Church will likely die, at its own hand. Now that you can be released from the whole mess, write a letter (or a book) and send it where it needs to go and thank them for the opportunity to learn about what really matters to you, what your faith is about and the peace that will come from this for you in the end.

You are truly an inspiration in strength and integrity. No matter what challenges you have faced, your thoughts are for those around you, you open yourself to the criticism just or not and you offer peace and healing in return. Anyone who chooses to find fault with that has some work to do of their own.

Keep writing - keep writing - keep writing.

Your strength and truth is going to take you to places you have never imagined. You will always minister to those around you, that is who you are. You now have the gift of being free of an antiquated institution that does not function in the real world. Now you can make a difference in the world. Now is the time that you need to choose to use your gifts for those who need you. The Church will get it together or it will end for an institution that is out of date. I struggle daily with whether or not I want to attend a church. My life and work is my faith. My prayer is daily and on going. I choose to do God’s work not hear about it once a week and do what ever else I want for 6 days and 23 hours! I grew up in a rubber stamp religion, and I left it for a very long time. Only when I spent Christmas in a Muslim country with the wine drinking Grey Nuns in their tiny little sanctuary built into their house did I understand faith and what I believed.

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To my friends and those who continue to accompany me on this journey of healing, discovery and faith - I offer my humble thanks ...

And then there were TWO !!!

TWO !!!!

TWO HALLOWEEN KISSES!!!!

I even looked in Winnipeg

through discounted Halloween candy,

and couldn't find ANY !!!!!

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What the heck is up with THAT???

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TWO Halloween Kisses from the

23 000 pounds of candy my kids seemed

to bring home on Halloween !!!!

I tell you - It's just NOT right !!!

Dammit !!! NOT again !!!???

Constable Douglas Scott

AGE 20

with six months on duty,

gunned down in the Nunavat community of Kimmirut.

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Thoughts and prayers for his family,

his friends, his comrades,

and all of us.

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Another name joins the list ...

... a list that is already too damned long.

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Let us remember the fallen,

and honour those who wear any uniform!!

Sleeping Angels ... Flying Fists ...

Yesterday morning I had to leave early for Winnipeg ... I got up in the pre-dawn darkness, packed up my stuff and got ready for the two hour drive ...

Before I left the house I went to check on my sleeping angels ... Beetle scarcely stirred when I bent over and whispered "I love you," and gently kissed her on the forehead ... Ms. H, however, was another story ...

I leaned over her bed and as I was whispering "I love you," and about to give her a kiss on HER forehead - POW !!! - a fist flew through the darkness and connected with my cheek, followed quickly by a second fist from the other direction ... the words "I love you" were choked by the blow and the flying fists ...

"Sorry," came a faint whisper, tainted with a giggle ... "I thought you were my cat!! She's been bugging me all night!!"

Rubbing my cheek I muttered something about it being okay, then I leaned down and gave a kiss to my boxing beauty as I recieved one in return ...

I drove from the house yesterday feeling pretty good about Ms. H. She's one who will look after herself and take no guff from ANYONE!!! And in a daughter, that's not a bad trait!

Lucky for me, I didn't bruise !!!

Kick 'n the Balls ...

It's funny the power we can invest in one person's opinion, even when that opinion is hate-filled, spiteful and wrong ...

I keep hearing that I am no longer welcomed at the Soccer Fields in town ... I find that a funny contention ...

I know where it comes from ... a few years ago I coached the oldest level of Boys Soccer in the House League that played here and in Brandon ... One parent that I know of, took exception that I, the MINISTER talked to the boys in the language the boys used ... I used the odd expletive ... I teased them ... they teased me ...

Apparently, I should restrict my words to things like "Gosh," and "drat" and the ever popular - "Oh Golly!!" ...

Sorry, but I wasn't raised that way ... in my family, my neighbourhood and MY world - if you mean "Oh Damned!!" you say it ... One day I'll tell you about my Grandmother's favourite expression ... and it wasn't "Oh Shoot!!!" ... my youngest cousins learned it pretty quick though at age 2!!

Anyway ... as a result of this the rumour has persisted, and was erroneously shared the other day publicly yet again - that I am not welcomed at the Soccer Pitches in our community ... Funny, that's NOT the story I got when I stepped aside as coach - I lack the credentials to coach the team at the level they were/are playing.

But whatever - the lie makes a better story ... so it keeps getting told and retold as gospel ... I would expect better of Church members ... but that's another posting ...

As for me, I take my opinion from the voices that really matter - The BOYS themselves ... I wasn't coaching for the parents, and I wasn't coaching for the members of my Church - I was coaching for the boys ... and when I go to Brandon and get stopped at the Mall, in a Grocery Store, at the University, or even in a Pub by one of those boys and am greeted with a HUGE smile (occasionally even a hug) and an update on what's happening in their lives and what's going on and how much they appreciated me as thier coach ... I know the TRUTH.

I don't care if a parent didn't like me ... I don't even care if her or his child didn't ... I stood on the sidelines rain or shine as a real person - NOT some fake, hypocritical, parody - a REAL FLESH AND BLOOD PERSON WHO LAUGHED WITH THEM, STOOD BY THEM WHEN THEY HURT, AND WAS PRESENT FOR THEM NO MATTER WHAT - ON THEIR TERMS ...

So now, when one of those boys stops me and tells me about thier lives - THAT'S ALL THE PROOF & SUPPORT I NEED !!!

Oh, and like the old saying tells us - "Been there, done that, Got the Tee-shirt!!" Funny thing about this rumour ... I have a tee-shirt from the last team I coached signed by ALL the boys and paid for BY the parents thanking me for being their coach ... That tells me somebody's not being truthful !!??

Life is funny sometimes ...

I have to begin this post by noting that a few months ago, for a variety of reasons I began referring to myself as "Goat Boy" ... this morning that reference took an deliciously ironic turn for me ...

Over the last two days I've been fortunate to attend a course in Winnipeg on Conflict Resolution. During the sessions we've looked at the dynamics of healthy conflict and how a just, honest and open resolution can be attained ...

The first criterion of such an outcome is a commitment by ALL parties to engaging in the "conflict" with honesty and openness and MOST of ALL a willingness to find a solution.

It was interesting over the two days how I found myself reflecting back on conflicts I have been a part of and how I WOULD do things very differently given what I know about myself now subsequent to my journey in recent weeks ... It was equally interesting to consider how many of the conflict situations I have found myself enmeshed in have escalated because the OTHER parties were unwilling to engage in open, honest and direct communication - it has been easier for some to bad mouth me behind my back, then to say it TO ME. (I can point to one marvelous woman in this community who has ALWAYS arrived on my doorstep when she has an issue with me - and though I'm not sure where she stands in regards to me and my ministry here - I value her candor, her bluntness and her HONESTY !!!)

But as we worked our way through the sessions I realized much about my journey and the mistakes I've made ... I also realized the attempts at "mediation" were non-starters because one party (not me) wasn't interested in mediation, only retaliation, and the mediator skipped some VITAL and CRUCIAL steps in the mediation process and failed to consider the possibilities of toxicity and illness in the equation. (my ADD was absolutely a factor - and it was MISSED !!! and there are other illness factors too !!!)

Last night as I returned to my Hotel room I settled on the bed with my copy of Rene Girard's book "The Scapegoat"

The Scapegoat is a seminal study of collective violence in human society. Girard's thesis is (in a very small nutshell) that communities and any form of collective gathering of humans requires at some juncture as victim to bear the sins and the misdeeds of the whole. He uses the myth of Oedipus and the example of the Jewish Scapegoat to illustrate his idea ...

The scapegoat in Jewish custom was a goat, who periodically was loaded with "the sins" of the people and driven out in to the wilderness to die, thereby setting the people free of their misdeeds and allowing them to feel fresh, and clean and once again united ... Until the next year when the same process was repeated and a new goat was sacrificed ...

And so the cycle carried on year after year ... goat after goat being driven into the wilderness ...

There was never remedial action on the part of the people, and it would seem they never thought to STOP their behaviour that lead to the sacrifice of goat after goat after goat ... Theologically, the process stopped for Christians when the ultimate sacrifice was paid by the death of Jesus and we were set free of our sins once and for all ...

Unfortunately for all of the Goats out there ... the sins continued, and SOMEONE HAS TO BE BLAMED ... someone has to be rejected and driven away ... someone has to take the fall ...

When a crisis or conflict hits it is ALWAYS easier to dump EVERYTHING on the goat, than to take responsibility for ourselves and our actions ... and THAT, according to Girard, will never change until we open our eyes and see it for ourselves ...

In the meantime, more Goats have to die ...

Some days it's hard to be a goat ...

"Nnnnaaaahhhh ... Nnnnaaaaahhhh !!!!!!!"

In Honour of TODAY !!!!!

Let the words of this song

mean what they need to for you.

It is truly time "To Let It Go !!!"

I have ...

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Today it is time to do like they say in the movie:

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"Meet the Robinsons":

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Keep Moving Forward !!!

From a Gifted Mind and a Great Soul ...

Been reading the book by Vietnamese Buddhist Monk Thich Nhat Hanh "Understanding Our Mind ..." and I found the following quotation this morning:

Erroneous perceptions bring about much suffering. We feel certain that our perceptions are correct and complete, yet often they are not.

... We live in a universe filled with false images and delusions, yet we believe that we are truly in touch with the world. We may have a deep respect for the Buddha, and believe that if we were to meet him in person, we would bow before him and attend all of his teachings. But, in reality, we may have already met the Buddha in our own town and not had the slightest wish to even go near him, because he didn't conform to our image of what a Buddha is supposed to look like.

We are certain that a Buddha appears with a a halo, wearing beautiful robes. So when we meet a Buddha in ordinary clothes, we do not recognize him or her. How could a Buddha wear a sports shirt? How could a Buddha be without a halo?

Even if you think you are certain, check it again ...

With God as my witness ...

"I thought turkeys could fly ..."

WKRP in Cinncinati is one of my all-time favourite tv programmes EVER.

I have watched every episode innumerable times. Time spent with Les, Herb, Venus ... and the quirky characters who lurk in the halls of a Mid-western Radio station is never time wasted ...

I was THRILLED when the first season came out on CD ... I'm waiting for season two !!!

There are episodes of the show (the original - NOT the revisit in the 90's) that are breath-takingly hilarious ... One of my favs is the "Bomb in the transmitter" two parter, though the excerpt below would be my choice (tied) for the funniest moment on TV that I have ever watched ... It was brilliant:

Siamese Elephants ... "One would sneeze and ..."

Four of the best minds in comedic television on stage ... and a story about some elephants ...

The reactions by Carol Burnett, Vicki Lawrence and the great Dick Van Dyke to Tim Conway's stories is as GOOD as the tale being related ...

This is my OTHER choice for the funniest moment on TV ...

The search goes on ...

As the candy sorting has continued this afternoon ... a single, solitary, lonely Halloween Kiss has turned up in Beetle's Treat Bag ... she snatched it out with a drawn out "Eeeeeewwwwww, I HATE these ..." as she tossed it my way ...

I have to confess to feeling like those folks that crowd around humanitarian relief trucks in distant third world nations ... I grabbed it greedily and tucked it with my small stash of candy and chocolate discards to savour it later ...

But I can't help but wonder ... ONE single HALLOWEEN kiss out of ALL that the three kids brought home ...

It's WRONG, WRONG, WRONG ... Halloween Kisses are obligatory ... Halloween is NOT about the brand name candy and chocolates ... you need the obscure stuff like Kisses !!! (and NOT the Hershey's variety - the REAL thing !!!)

On the up side though, the dearth of kids knocking at our door has meant there is a plethora of swedish berry packages for ME !!! (AND THAT isn't a bad thing!!) AND I was tantalized by one of the staff at the library saying that any Halloween Kisses that turn up in her son's treat bag will make their way to ME !!!! YEAH !!!!! ... That's an offer I can't refuse ...

Overheard at the Kitchen table ...

Beetle was arm pit deep in her UNICEF Halloween Treat Bag, with her head tucked in for good measure when she emerged holding aloft the quarry of her search:

"HEY !! I got a mini Mr Big Bar!!" she exclaimed excitedly.

"Huh?" replied Ms. H. emerging from her own search in her treat bag.

"I got a MINI Mr Big Bar," repeated Beetle.

"That doesn't make sense," said Ms. H.

"What does that mean?" asked Beetle.

"It means 'a mini Mr Big bar' is an oxymoron," added Dad.

"What's an oxymoron?" asked Beetle.

"When you use two opposite meaning words to describe something," said Dad, "like Jumbo Shrimp ..."

"Or mini Mr Big," said Ms. H.

A thought to ponder ...

In an introduction to"Comparing Mythologies" a published lecture delivered by Tomson Highway, John Moss writes:

Facts are only the random detritus of our lives until they are connected by story. Stories, to paraphrase Robert Kroetsch, make us real. If there is anything like truth accessible to our in the world, it must be thorugh the ways we tell of ourselves to each other. For such sharing, we use words, design images, make music and dance, we make what in the world we call art, and what is elsewhere accepted as the warp in the fabric of life; the west is the time of our hearing, or watching, or listening. Tomson Highway, through his life as a musician and social worker, writer and dramaturge, shares sometimes uncomfortable truths, sometimes beautiful truths that we know only because we feel it within, where it haunts us with tears and with laughter ...

... Facts are only the random detritus of our lives until they are connected by story !!!

And the Sorting Begins ...

Today last night's loot bags began to be sorted ... when Noahkila, Ms H, and Beetle arrived home last night they started picking out what they liked and had a feast before heading off to bed ...

This morning before school the "likes" and "dislikes" were engaged and the pile of "dislikes" that ultimately become Dad's began to grow ... licorice (red OR black), tootsie rolls and coffee crisp bars are among my personal favourites, but don't rank in the world of my kids ... so I happily take one for the team.

My one regret this year is that SO far no orange wax paper wrapped Halloween Kisses have made an appearance ... this will be the first Halloween in 40 years that I haven't had even ONE ...

I hope they haven't gone the same way as the BB Bat and the Dodo ... The molasses flavoured kisses are one of my absolute favourite Halloween candies!!!

The Lingering Effects ...

I learned a painful lesson at the hand of my middle child last night ...

For most of her birthday's she has endured a good natured Birthday "spanking" - you know the one smack for each year ... The usual routine is her screaming with delight as she is chased through the house, and when the actual "spanking" happens it is inflicted on a wiggling, giggling whirlwind ... a couple of the "smacks" may strike the target ... most just miss.

But the lesson dear old dad learned from Ms H last night was that her tenacity (we called her Lava when she was a pre-toddler and Noahkila would build barricades to keep his toys safe from her ... she was only thwarted, and never stopped !!!) has given rise to an astounding ability to lie in wait for her moment of revenge ...

Last night just before her bed time she delivered on her father's posterior a 40 smack Birthday Spanking!!! AND none of them were gentle "love taps" ... SHE HIT HARD !!!

So, today in addition to nursing a still sore posterior, I also am nursing an admiration for Ms H and her tenacious nature ... I hope it never fails her !!

As the Fifth Decade begins ...

I've been sitting on this post (pardon the pun) for a couple of weeks ... and today as I formally begin my fifth decade of life, it would seem appropriate to offer this as a reminder for men everywhere to be aware of their bodies and their health ...

A couple of weeks ago I had a full physical with my Doctor ... complete with the infamous "digit" exam to make sure the prostate was okay ... Now that I'm over 40 - it will be a necessary part of my annual visits to the doc.

I can't say it was pleasant ... I joked he could have at least bought me drinks before ...

When I got home that afternoon and went cruising the net I came across a posting over at The Assertive Cancer Patient Blog that absolutely cracked me up. As part of her protest against the shameless and borderline obscene commercialization of the Pink Ribbon Campaign, she offered up a Prostate Cancer Ken doll to counter the many items festooned with pink ribbons each October.

As a woman and activist living with terminal cancer Jeanne wants to raise the awareness of fighting cancer by catching it early, NOT by sticking pink ribbons on everything from dolls to candy. More importantly, she also advocates taking a progressive, and ASSERTIVE stance towards your own health by regular check ups and so on ...

Her posting on the creation and introduction of Prostate Cancer Ken is simply brilliant, and the timing for me was utterly HILARIOUS!!!!
The other postings on P.C. Ken are:
The back of the Box
and
The Back View of P.C. Ken

And there are of course the necessary accessories for Ken as he faces his ailment and begins his recovery !!!! Check them out here!!

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So, as November begins and the Pink Ribbons are tucked away for another year it behooves us all to find comfort within our skin and to be aware of HOW cancer can be beaten by cutting the risks, and by being aware of the various self-exams that both men and women are able (and should do) but most of all - regular visits with your doctor and overcoming the reluctance to certain procedures CAN and DO save lives and greatly reduce the risk of Cancers like PROSTATE Cancer !!!

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It's not terribly comfortable, but the exam only takes a minute and it MAKES A BIG DIFFERENCE!!!

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Last week one night my friends and I got talking about the Prostate Cancer exam and I suggested we should start a campaign for men that says: "Find a female doctor. Have a couple of drinks before your appointment, and make it into a "date" ... whatever it takes to get it done!!" I doubt female doctors would appreciate it ... so instead, I would suggest instead that MEN just have to get over their hang ups and JUST DO IT !!!

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And so, now as a parting gift in honour of Jeanne and her delightful Prostate Cancer Ken, and the necessity of regular medical exams ... I offer on of my FAVOURITE pieces of music by Bowser and Blue, a Canadian Comedy duo who are just bizarre!!

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Enjoy !!!

Scenes from the Day ...

It's been an interesting day ... somethings didn't work out as planned ... other things turned out much better than expected ... overall, it was a good way to mark the day ... though, I still would have liked to have had a kick ass 40th Birthday party ...

I never made it for the planned coffee or lunch ... I spent some time this morning writing a piece for submission to a writing contest ... then after lunch I took the witch cake into Bex's Grade Three class - It was a hit !! - I watched the costume parade before heading home ...

The rest of the afternoon was getting ready for the big night, and finishing off the submission ... I had an assortment of interuptions from phone calls, emails and even the odd text message - ALL wishing me a Happy Birthday !!! I was touched ...

After supper the kids went out trick or treating, leaving me to hand out the candy to the 20 kids we had arrive at our door. At the end of the evening we gathered around the kitchen table and cut into the ice cream cake:

When our guests left Ms H. handed out the presents for me ... from M and the kids there was a dvd set of Corner Gas Season 4, and a five cd set of John Coltrane music: Ms H even gave me a polished rock she had bought with HER money some weeks ago for me ... little sister Beetle, gave me a home made card and a loonie for my next "coffee".

When they headed off to bed, I went up to my coffee shop to hang with my friends and chill in the waning hours of the day ... Well, just hanging out wasn't in the cards ... I was simultaneously awed and humbled by the fuss and the gifts that were offered ... a bottle of nice wine, a funky pair of strange reading glasses, a box of "necessary" items for life over 40, and the most awesome tee-shirt I've ever seen:


The evening was topped off with fresh baked pie and ice cream, and steaming tea ... All things considered it turned out to be a pretty decent day ... thanks to everyone who made it special and wonderful !! With friends like THIS ... I'm very lucky!!!