I'm tired ...

I'm tired ... not the "need sleep" kind of tired, but the bone weary tired that borders on a hopeless depression ... the kind of tired that comes from having to spend too much time and energy trying just to survive ... the kind of tired that comes from lying in bed at night wondering how and when things will begin to turn around and I won't have to keep making excuses to my bank and my creditors and utilities about when I will get caught up on what I owe them ... the kind of tired that comes from wondering when and where and HOW I will find full time employment and no longer have to count pennies to buy milk to feed my kids ...

n

I'm tired.

n

But in that exhaustion I am content with my life ...

n

I don't like having to work four part-time jobs for minimum wage ... but I'm deeply thankful for having each of them, and even though bouncing from one to another is both physically and mentally exhausting, having them at all means I can at least survive ...

n

I don't like having to rely on the charity and kindness of others ... but as I stop by Samaritan House Ministries to visit and refresh my spirit through much needed conversation with my friends there (friends who have been there to pick me up and dust me off a dozen times, to offer the blessed gift of laughter when life seems dreary and dark, friends who may not appreciate how much they mean to me) and as I take the day old bread and bagels they offer to supplement the food on my table, I am deeply appreciative of their presence in my life that is a true blessing of mind, body and spirit ...

b

I don't like having to roll pennies and watch my spending and having to say "NO, I can't afford it ..." when my children want something as simple as a dvd rental on the weekend ... but as I consider the plight of people in Haiti, Afghanistan, Louisiana, Pakistan, and other troubled corners of the world where want is deeply felt, I realize how fortunate I truly am, and how full my life really is ...

b

I don't like pretending that everything is okay when I feel the sting of rejection from within the Church I have called home for all of my 42 years ... having people avoid me in the mall ... and receiving FOAD* letter after FOAD letter to my applications and resumes hurts more than words can even tell ... but then I stand before a non-United Church congregation that has been loving, kind and gracious over the last year that we've journeyed together ... like Nouwen's wounded healer, they have tended to my bruises and wounds as I have gained strength and courage to help tend to theirs ... in our woundedness and brokenness we've found a place of healing and the gift of wholeness that IS God's gift of Grace ... and along the way a faint glimmer of hope has begun to glow in the darkness by a community that has not forgotten that ALL are members of the Family of God, and that living a Gospel of Inclusivity means loving the outcast and the cast offs ... and they've whispered words of hope through the lonely darkness ...

f

I don't like worrying about my finances and my well being while I try to slap on a smiling happy face that says "it's okay ..." I'm hurt and angry ... I'm tired - exhausted to the bone ... and I am growing impatient ... I KNOW things will turn around - but after a year of under-employment ... after a year of struggling to make ends meet and failing miserably ... after a year of sending off in excess of 75 resumes and having exactly ONE interview about a prospective job ... I'm TIRED of pretending it's okay ...

l

No one chooses to be poor.

l

No one chooses to be under employed.

l

No one chooses to be rejected by the one place where grace and care is supposed to abound.

l

NO ONE CHOOSES TO LIVE in a place where Hope is something that takes energy to maintain.

I'll be the first to admit that I continue to be lucky and blessed, and fortunate when I compare my life to others ... and I KNOW that one of the lessons that these bruises have taught me is to no longer quietly accept the status quo and continue to blithely pretend that things are okay ...

k

This week I was asked to describe myself in one sentence ... I came up with - Shawn is a preacher, a social activist and a writer.

k

This morning while I was standing in the backyard with Oboe and Flute as they did their morning constitutional in the bitter cold, I realized that perhaps the greatest opportunity that the last few years has taught me is the opportunity to reflect from a first hand perspective what it means to move from being one of the people who builds, maintains and runs the service provider agencies to being one of those who actively sets policy and lobbys governments and politicians on behalf of these agencies to standing in line and having receive the help they offer for myself, not because I chose to see what the help is ... but because I have to receive that help ...

k

There is NO shame in a meteoric fall from grace ... there is in fact opportunity !!

h

Opportunity to share these experiences.

h

Opportunity to tell what it's like to take day old bread because you're out of options.

h

Opportunity to put a face to the biggest non-issue facing our society today.

h

Politicians have forgotten about the homeless and the poor.

h

Politicians and Churches are eloquent in sharing words of concern about the marginalized.

h

Politicians and Churches and Communities leaders are good at the photo ops and press releases.

h

But along the way they've forgotten that the poor can not survive by mere words and handshakes of concern ... they need real and tangible help ... and today I've come to realize that one of the aspects of my ongoing ministry, is to reflect back on the last five years of my life and share the gleanings that have come from seeing from different perspectives the poverty industry that keeps growing but fails to address the root of the problem.

x

Poverty no longer frightens me ... but realizing the depth of my exhaustion has made me realize that while my journey has been relatively uncomfortable, there are many out in our communities who have it far worse ... and while I could engage in a pity party about how bad my life is, I'm pretty fortunate ... but someone has to speak up and speak out about a problem in our world that is not only solvable, it is totally and completely unacceptable.

x

No one chooses to be poor.

x
I did not choose to be marginalized, rejected and out cast ... and while I may never be welcomed back into the circles of Grace that supposedly exist within the Church, I will do everything I can to illuminate the issues of poverty and marginalization that exist within our Churches, our communities and our world ...

x

I will speak, I will write and I will advocate from a place of weakness and marginalization, and I will no longer be intimidated by the anonymous threats and the stinging rebuke of those who react from fear ...

x

As a wise man once said - "the Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because God has chosen me to tell the Good News to the poor, God has sent me to announce freedom for prisoners, to give sight to the blind, to free every one who suffers, and to say, 'this is the year The Lord has chosen."

x

I will not follow the lead of the United Church and timidly ask - "If that's okay with everyone ..."

I will not be afraid.

I will not be intimidated.

AND I will not be ashamed.

x

I will claim my prophetic voice and let the Spirit lead me where She wills ...

x

Today the Scriptures are coming true in your hearing ... and NO ONE is going to be throwing me off a cliff either !!!!!!!!!!!!

x

I am a Minister and I am going to live the Good News.

x

x

(* FOAD - def'n: F--- Off And Die!!)

139 ...

Sgt. John Faught, 44,

of the

1st Battalion Princess Patricia's Canadian Light Infantry

based in Edmonton, was killed by the detonation

of an improvised explosive device

while taking part in a foot patrol with Afghan soldiers

near the town of Nakhoney in the volatile Panjwaii district,

on Saturday January 16th 2010.

Prayers for his wife and two sons,

prayers for his comrades,

and prayers for the people of Afghanistan.

Lest We Forget

The Loss of a Canadian Musical Icon ...

Kate McGarrigle (left) who along with her sister Anna formed the folk duet The McGarrigle Sisters and wrote and recorded numerous songs and ten albums has passed away at the age of 63 following a battle with cancer.

An amazing musician in her own right, Kate's children Rufus and Martha Wainwright have followed thier mom and aunt to become iconic musical artists in their own right.

Prayers for Ms. McGarrigle's family and all of her fans ... it's a sad day for the Canadian Musical scene ...

(CBC story here - Folk singer Kate McGarrigle dies)

An image from Haiti ...

A friend in Jamaica sent this ... a reminder that even in devestation, the hope of FAITH remains untouched ...

Prayers for the folks in Haiti and the unbelievable suffering they are experiencing ... and for the help that is making its way to the impoverished island state ...

Gumby Creator dies at 88 ...

In the hyperworld of commercialism and marketing run amock, can you imagine hearing the creator of Spongebob, Dora or any of the hottest tv cartoons resisting the marketing juggarnaut and the tie in promotions of toys, product and spin off's with the words - "it might be exploiting children??"

Today such a stance would be unheard of ... but when he created the ubiquitious Gumby and Pokey, creator Art Clokey resisted creating toys to be sold along side the tv shorts he had crafted and expressed concern that such a creation would be exploiting children.

Instead he quietly created Gumby and Pokey's cousins Davey and Goliath who on behalf of the Lutheran Church in the US, offered a series of shorts stressing issues of morals, faith and respect ... like 'em or hate 'em, Davey and Goliath and Gumby and Pokey were part of growing up in the 1970's ... so much so, in the 80's comedian Eddie Murphy used Gumby (now all grown up) to forge a name for himself on Saturday Night Live ... the phrase "I'm Gumby DAMMIT!!" entered pop culture in a major way.

Today cbc.ca reports that the man who started it all by creating a claymation figure based off of his late father has died at the age of 88. Art Clokey, started his journey in college and went on to make shorts for the Howdy Doody Show, then created a number of his own series through the years ... all of which left an indelible impression on those countless children who watched Gumby and Pokey's adventures and Davey and Goliath's moralizing ...

Thanks for the memories Mr. Clokey - you made the world a better place with your little clay friends ...

Read the CBC story here: "Creator of Gumby and Pokey dies" - cbc.ca

Tomorrow will be a sad day ...

.
(This one is for Beetle)
.
When he came into our lives 14 years ago he fit in the palm of my hand with room to spare ... he was the runt of the litter ... he was timid, skittish and shy ... over time he grew in confidence, size and has firmly entrenched himself as a member of the family ...

Along the way, he became ENORMOUS ... everyone who meets him says - "oh my what a BIG cat ..." but when he speaks he has the tiniest squeekist 'meow' imaginable ... the big cat with the little voice !!!

He absolutely adored Beetle from the day she arrived at our home and often found comfort and likely warmth curled up on her, or with her while she watched tv ... one of his favourite night time sleeping places was her bed ...

He HATED - and I MEAN HATED, Ms. H!!!. I've never known of a cat to chase a kid out of a room, but early on he developed a tangible dislike for Ms. H. that involved the two of them staring each other down ... then he would advance menacingly towards her and she would flee the room ... often in our old house he would lie under the dining room table and swipe at her ankles as she ran by ... once he mistakenly swiped at me - an error he never repeated!!

His life lost some 'umpf' when his buddy Angus was put down ... the two of them were inseparable ... I told Beetle as she nestled in her bed to remember him for who he has been, and that even though tomorrow we'll lose him we have lots of stories about him ... he was that kind of a cat. I told her about the morning in Bella Coola when I looked down at Angus (the golden collie type dog we had) and under his sleeping form saw two little white legs and a thick black tail ... I yelled and Angus sprang to his feet revealing a very comfortably sleeping cat tucked under his furry form ... such was the love between the two friends ... Angus often laid at the top of the stairs with his nose pushed through the criss-cross baby gate and on the living room side of the partition sat Diesel, his nose touching Angus' ...

I remember one night sitting reading only to look up and see two deep green eyes reflecting at me in the darkness of the hallway outside the room ... it was like those old cartoons with the menacing lights watching the unwary pass by ... I was slightly startled but said - "Diesel?" ... and the eyes blinked and a high toned "meow" greeted my question as though answering "yes, who else would it be?"

And at night he wouldn't settle unless everyone was in ... if the old calico matriarch Chloe was outside Diesel would fret and fret until she came in ... and if one of the kids was at a sleep over he would prowl the hall way meowing until you reassured him (repeatedly) that it was okay "they are at a sleep over ..."

There was a regal bearing about him ... his lush white fur, his distinctive black patches and his unbelievably luxurious black tail ... we used to joke that his daddy might have been a cougar in the upper reached of the Saloompt where he was sired and born ... whatever his lineage he has been a fine pet, a beautiful cat and a cherished member of our family ...

Tomorrow when he gets taken to the vet will be a sad day ... but fortunately in his 14 years walking and complaining among us, he has left a legacy of memories that will help ease the hurt of having to say good bye to a friend who's health is failing ...

Diesel was a good cat ... and he will be missed.

Rest in Peace ...

-

Bruce Alexander Ankenmann

"Farmer"

"Uncle Bruce"

July 7th 1930

to

January 6th 2010

The last of the six sons of Alvin and Erna,

the last generation to live on the home farm,

a beloved uncle,

and a

friend ...

0

Good bye Uncle Bruce, and God Bless,

you will be missed ...

Beetle, Uncle Bruce, Noahkila and Ms H

when we visited with him in

Tavistock Ontario

on December 31st 2006.

135 ... 136 ... 137 ... 138 ... and One ...

==
==

From Left to right:
Sgt. George Miok aged 28,
Pte. Garrett William Chidley aged 21,
Sgt. Kirk Taylor aged 28,
and
Cpl. Zachery McCormack aged 21
were killed in a bomb blast on Wednesday in Afghanistan.
-
-

-
-
Also killed in the blast,
Calgary Herald journalist
Michelle Lang aged 34.
.
Thoughts and prayers for the families of the fallen,
for their comrades,
for their co-workers,
for the wounded,
and
for those, who enter this New Year
bearing the grief of loss ...
.
May 2010 move us closer to PEACE.
May it be so ...
... Lest we forget!

One year ends ... another begins ...

The year and the decade draw to a close, and it's time for resolutions and setting goals for the journey ahead ... people will promise to watch what they eat, exercise more, eat less, lose weight, volunteer more often ... and so on ...

For me my resolutions are more humble and grounded ... I resolve for 2010, to get up and face each day and keep moving forward ... I put 2009 behind me, along with the pain and trauma that has been the last decade of my life ... while I hold to the good bits that have remained with me, I resolve to leave behind the hurt and loss that has marked much of the journey from the beginning of the new millenium ...

In the coming year I want to find full time employment and no longer have to worry about having enough part time gigs to keep a roof over my head and food on my table.

In the coming year I will give back to Samaritan House the kindness and care they have shown me and my family as we've struggled to make ends meet ... the treat of day old bread and out of date sugary treats has meant much, as has having a place to go and vent and be loved while laughing and savouring life with those who know what it's like to stand on the margins ...

In the coming year I will not over look my circle of friends, and the astounding, beautiful people I have been blessed with ...

In the coming year I will continue to write for the publications who have supported me in following that dream, and I will put to paper the stories that have for too long rolled around inside of me waiting to be shared ...

In the coming year I will finally finish my Thesis and move out of my living room the enormous pile of articles and books that has swamped my coffee table and desk for too long ...

In the coming year I will intentionally build and dream of a future that is bright and that will take from the safety of my little compartmentalized boxes to a place where anything is possible, and where laughter and companionship are very real and very present ...

In the coming year I will pause to give thanks for the moment and the people who are in it, and like an old friend said over and over - I'll learn to live, love and laugh now instead of when I grow old ...

In the coming year, I will continue in ministry, both here and in whatever places are opened to me by the Spirit ... The Gospel is waiting to be shared, and the hunger for something more than the status quo is real and if the Institution that is the Church is too busy trying to defend and preserve itself it is up to the prophetic voices called by God to carry that message forward and to be the agent of change needed in our world ... it may be in the United Church ... it may not ... I don't know for sure right now ... but I DO KNOW I have been CALLED to ministry, and I will continue to respond to that call wherever I may be ...

In the coming year, I will look after myself better and lower my blood pressure and lose the weight that I've packed on AND by this time next year be in a better place physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually ...

In the coming year, I will remember to tell those who important to me that I love them, and I appreciate their presence in my life, even when I'm having a hissy fit or as Ms. H. may say - "taking a spazz" ...

I'm very fortunate and blessed. Despite the losses I've experienced in the last few years, I've gained so much more ... In the coming year I will endeavour to live my life accordingly ...

So with my thanks to my circle of family that includes Noahkila, Ms. H, Beetle and thier mother M, and that has expanded to include the lovely L and her boy Halo-warrior I say "thank you and God Bless as the old year ends and the New Year begins ..."

Cheers for 2010 !!!

Today perhaps the light at the tunnel really ISN'T an approaching train ... time will tell !!

Too Funny ... "who's the guy in the white toque??"

The jist of the story is a woman was trying to take a picture of her kids with the Olympic Torch while it made one of it visit/stops in Southern Ontario. She was trying to use her husband's blackberry and in frustration said out loud - "can somebody help me with this stupid blackberry?"

A gentleman stepped up and said he knew a thing or two about them and tried to help ...

It was only later that the woman found out that the gentleman coming to her assistance was none other than Research in Motion CEO Jim Balsillie who obviously knows more than just a little bit about Blackberrys ...

Too funny ... gave me my morning chuckle ... check out the story here on the KW Record website.

McNally Robinson Booksellers ...

It's a bookstore with class, and with a commitment to the city from which it has arisen ... McNally Robinson Booksellers ranks amongst my top five book stores in Canada. Though my list of book stores is populated by small independent bookstores that offer highly personalized service, for selection McNally Robinson is simply second to NONE ...

Most of our trips into Winnipeg over the last 10 years have ended with a stop at their Grant Park location before heading westward down the highway ... Noahkila, Ms H. and Beetle have ALL loved climbing the spiral stairs and hanging out in the childrens' section. Over the years many tomes in our library have originated in this wonderful Winnipeg based company.

CBC today has reported the heartbreaking news that the company has applied for bankruptcy protection and is closing its Polo Park and Toronto locations (click here for the story) ... while the company will hopefully survive - it is a loss that I for one feel personally. The new Polo Park location has become a favoured stop on Winnipeg trips, and though we will continue to patronize the Grant Park locale, losing locations and watching a fine book store company suffer is just plain hard.

When one of the Harry Potter books was launched amid a HUGE party at McNally Robinson's Grant Park location, we went to Winnipeg and booked a hotel room so we could join in the fun ... but 1:30 am, with the kids in full meltdown, and entry to the store still an hour away, we bailed and headed to our hotel room, carrying two immensely disappointed little people who wanted to frolick in "Hogwarts" like they had been reading about for weeks ...

The next morning we read a story in the Winnipeg Free Press touting the success of the party and how "no child went home disappointed ..." I sent a short email to the writer and noted that we went home disappointed because we simply couldn't wait any longer ...

My email was forwarded to Holly McNally and she replied with an apology. Then a week later a parcel arrived in the mail from McNally Robinson with a PERSONAL apology note from Holly McNally to Noahkila, Ms. H. and Beetle for their disappointment, and three wizard gifts for them as her way of saying "sorry."

Not only did it reveal the character of the people behind this company, it cemented our commitment as family to that Book Seller.

I honestly hope that McNally Robinson can restructure and survive and continue to be the amazing bookstore and company that it is. Trips to Winnipeg just wouldn't be the same without them ...

and the memories flow ...

It started yesterday when my mom told me something had happened ... but even she didn't know what it was ... we both promised to call if we learned something ...

Today news came ... my cell rang and I heard a voice I hadn't spoken with in almost 20 years ... she filled me in on what was enveloping her family ...

I wept ... I offered my condolances ... I offered my prayers ... I choked back the tears as I said good bye ...

I closed my cell and cried bitter tears of anger ...

It shouldn't have happened ... it didn't need to happen ... but it did, and none of us could change it ... and it was profoundly sad, and overwhelmingly tragic ...

... and then in my tears came the memories ... dripping like the tears falling on my cheeks ... one by one they fell into mind, leaving me smiling amid the sadness ... laughing in spite of the anger ... chuckling as I remembered and relived the moments ...

He had a way of saying - "Jesus Christ," that left you laughing ... and he'd lift his chin and smile as he said - "What?" to your response ...

Constantly in motion, he wore a cheeky grin no matter what was happening ...

We'd worked together, played together, drank together, and formed a bond of friendship that for a time was more like brothers, then neighbour, co-worker or friend ... we had our moments ... times when we raged at each other in bitter anger, threw temper tantrums and objects ... but in time, like all good storms, the tempest would pass and in the calm aftermath we would rekindle the friendship and forget the past ...

I remember the jokes ... the laughter ... listening to music ... celebrating small achievements, and shaking our heads in bewliderment at life's set backs ...

There were days we didn't like each other much ... and days we were inseperable ...

He was chased by his demons, and too often took to the bottle to numb the pain he wouldn't speak of ... but even then, with only a few notable exceptions, his disposition remained sunny and cheery, and he was always one to laugh, even when dark clouds closed in and life took a turn ...

He was many things ... but most of all he was a friend ...

And learning of his untimely death brought a rush of emotions and memories back to me ... and over it all I could hear his voice and see his face ... a crooked, cheeky grin, a ball cap perched on his thinning hair, he glanced to his right, then his left and raised his chin as he said - "Jeeesssus Christ, can you believe it ??"

And my answer, with tears in my eyes is simply - NO I CAN'T.

Rest in Peace my friend ... and may God bless you, as you have blessed those of us lucky enough to know you ... I love Purse like a brother ... and I for one will not only never forget you, I will miss you ...

A Christmas Favourite ... The Generations Meet !!

.
.
.
.
This is one of my favourite Christmas Songs ... I love the blend of musical eras ... the old and the new meet and their voices blend BEAUTIFULLY!!!

Merry Christmas !!!

134

30 year old Prince Rupert BC native,
Lt. Andrew Nuttall
of the
1st Battalion Prince Patricia Canadian Light Infantry,
based in Edmonton Alberta,
died on Wednesday
along with an Afghani soldier
when an IED denonated
in the Panjwii district.

Thoughts and prayers for his family,
his comrades, and for the family in Afghanistan
who this day are mourning the fallen.

Lest we forget ...

Lt. Andrew Nuttall

One of my favourite Christmas songs ...

Contribution to the Wheat City (Westman) Journal ...

.

As the Christmas Season draws ever closer, and we're surrounded by the merry sounds of shopping and consumerism run amock ... it's a good time to pause and remember that for some the financial burdens and the frustrations are pushing them to the breaking point ... I'm learning this first hand ...

My latest column in the WheatCity/WestMan Journal - click here.

Every penny counts ...

"Get a job ..."

.

"People chose to be poor ..."

.

"Make better choices ..."

.

"It's my money. I worked hard for it ..."

.

"I remember when I had to go through a similar thing ..."

.

Any of these statements sound familiar??

.

The comments made in response to poverty, homelessness, and the struggles that too many people are experiencing today are almost uncountable ... If we had a penny for every judgemental statement offered about the state of affairs in our society today, we could easily eradicate hunger and poverty ...

.

Our Government committed to eradicating child poverty in Canada by the year 2000 ... today mere days from 2010, we KNOW that child poverty is worse now then it was twenty years ago when the commitment was made. This morning on CBC Winnipeg Harvest head David Northcott stated that last year 5 000 children in Winnipeg needed food support through Harvest and its affiliated outreach programmes - today that number sits at a breath-taking 18 000!!!

.

I know that since I first arrived in Manitoba in 2000 the number of Food Banks has increased, with more and more food support agencies forming in smaller and smaller communities ... and the actual need has also gone up. Today in Manitoba, food bank use is 20% higher then it was last year at this time ... the numbers are simply and utterly devestating ...

.

In an era when shopping malls are full, and people are touting the recovery from the recession, we are hearing that over 20% of our population REQUIRE food help ... and it's not just the chronically unemployed, or those who are trapped in the social safety nets, NOW the people stepping through the doors of places like Winnipeg Harvest and Samaritan House and the countless other Food Banks across our country, include ever increasing numbers of people who are working - who, to quote David Northcott - "Are doing EVERYTHING right, but can't make ends meet".

.

And still poverty, hunger and homelessness remains OFF the radar of our national political parties. Instead of dealing with THIS ISSUE, our Government is hiding behind the economy and our soldiers and not being upfront nor honest with us ... and in the meantime more and more children are being forced to rely on charitable organizations to satiate the hunger pangs that they are living with ... in the meantime, hope is beginning to ebb away for more and more people who are finding it increasingly difficult to see a light at the end of the tunnel ... in the meantime, the lines at Food Banks and soup kitchens and homeless shelters get longer and longer ...

.

And in this Advent Season, we can't help but wonder WHY????

.

Yet, in even vocalizing the question, the answer is frighteningly apparent ... a long time ago I remember in a Bible Study group saying that we could deal with hunger and poverty if EVERYONE gave up ONE cup of coffee a day and donated that dollar to a charity that helps people turn around their lives ... one dollar a day - 365 dollars a year ... in a church of 100 people that $36 500 dollars, that can be leveraged to 10 or 20 times that amount by groups like Winnipeg Harvest ... one dollar a day to put 365 000 dollars worth of food, care, support and HELP into our community.

.
Sounds reasonable to me ...

.

The response in the Bible Study was scary ... "That's outrageous! I've worked hard for my money, and I don't want to support someone who doesn't want to work ..."

.

And this came from the lips of an esteemed Church leader, who had served at every level of the Church, and who took pride in being involved in The Church ... they stood in their Pharisaic splendour that day, failing to see the unfaithfulness of thier cold heartedness ...

.

Looking back, and looking around, I realize that there are regretably more Pharisees than I care to think about ...

.

The challenge before us - as people of FAITH - is to be aware that the needs are real, and they are largely caused by factors beyond the control of those standing in lines seeking help for food, shelter and security ... the system is broken, and just because the powers that be, and those who support them, and the many people comfortable in their lives can't, won't or REFUSE to see the brokenness doesn't mean it is untrue ...

.

We've grown comfortable in our complacency, especially IN The Church ... in this Advent Season it is time to remember the discomfort that figures like John brought to the early stirrings that became the Church ... the Christmas Message is simultaneously warm and welcoming as well as sharp and discomforting ... John and Jesus stand side by side this advent Season ... the babe in the manger grew up and become a prophet of God, calling people to faithfulness ... and sometimes we stand in the light of that judgement ...

.

It's easy to offer excuses ... it's harder to live our faith ...

.

Excuses feed no one ... faith demands we care for others ...

.

Kind of a stark "what would Jesus do?" moment isn't it ??

been busy ... been thinking ... been reading ...

I feel like I should post an apology of sorts for not having blogged much lately ... I've been online at Facebook - mainly tending my Farmville farm ... yes, I'll admit to my farmville addiction !?!? - but I haven't been online here much ...

.

There's a myriad of reasons ... one has been creating play shields, swords and daggers for a Craft Sale that Noahkila's choirs were hosting last Saturday at his high school ... I frantically prepared twelve shields (like the one above), twelve swords and a handful of daggers along with some photo note cards, and an inventory of fair trade coffee ... the end result was four hours spent tending a table for less than $20 in sales ... man ... talk about disheartening ...

.

I've also been busy forwarding resumes and applications to jobs far and near in the hopes of finding some secure employment SOON ...

.

I've been doing a research position for BU's Rural Development Department ...

AND, I've been doing reading and research on my Masters of Rural Development Thesis (YES, I'm gonna get this baby birthed before the spring thaw!!!!) ...

.

So, my calendar has been full ... my bank account has been EMPTY ... and my path has been about moving forward day by day ... some days have been positive and up-lifting, but too many of my days have been disheartening and depressing ... But, as I've said a million times to others - "it's ALL about moving forward ... one step, one moment, and one breath at a time ..."

.

I know that one day things will finally turn around, and I will find myself in a better place ... but I can not, nor will I ignore the simple fact that it is incredibly disheartening to send off dozens of applications and resumes and hear NOTHING back ... it is disheartening and debilitating to be rejected by a Church you've spent your adult life living and serving ... it's depressing and hope denying to watch as every dime you've set aside and saved is needed just to stay slightly ahead of the game ... and there are no words to describe what it feels like to be kicked over and over and over ... when you gather your strength to start the long climb back up from what you think is pretty much as low as you can go, to suddenly have yet another curve thrown your way that knocks you down another peg or three ... it is indescribable ...

.

Fortunately, I have the support and care of a fabulous circle of friends, both near and far ... I have the care of my newly found colleagues in my adopted denomination ... and my faith has led me to an oasis of peace that allows me to take serious stock of what I still have, and value those people, and those things in my life that I might otherwise over look ...

.

And with a deep breath, I put one foot in front of the other and like the poet Ann Weems said:

.

Some of us walk into Advent tethered to our unresolved yesterdays,

the pain still stabbing,

the hurt still throbbing.

It's not that we don't know better,

it's just that we can't stand up anymore by ourselves ...

.

On the way to Bethlehem,

will you give us a hand?

.

Along the way, I've marvelled at the depth of care that has been offered by the United Church and my colleagues ... rather than offering any kind of pastoral care, I've met rejection, judgement, and BLAME ... it's truly remarkable.
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Fortunately, like Gordon Turner and J. Russell Hale before him, have shown us - sometimes the most faithful people are the UnChurched who have been left outside looking in ... I've found my oasis amongst those who the "good" church people want nothing to do with ...

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This Advent, I've been reminded that the Good News of Bethlehem is for EVERYONE, not just the comfortable chosen few who huddle inside the sanctuaries and reject those who are prickly, irritating and outspoken ...

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Well ... back to my real life ... the bills await ... and I have a spare room to ready for my Christmas House Guests who arrive soon !!!!!

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I'll be back to Blogging eventually - but for now, survival comes first ...

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Peace y'all !

Grey Cup Weekend ...

Apparently Saskatchewan Riders fans, with thier watermelons safely stowed, are making their way en mass to Calgary for tomorrow's Grey Cup which sees their beloved Riders meeting Montreal for the prize ...

I hope they ALL travel safe, have a good time, and after showers to remove the watermelon goo ... have a great celebration of thier Grey Cup Victory !!!

(time will tell)

Richard Colvin is WRONG ...

He's ALL over the news and media in Canada today.
He has been labelled a "whistle-blower" by the press.
His allegations have been the latest cause celebre in Ottawa.

The Conservative Government in Ottawa is doing EVERYTHING he can to sully his character, question his motives, and refute his allegations about the abuse and torture of detainees in Afghanistan.

The Media has found his source is the Red Cross, his information WAS conveyed to the appropriate members of the chain of command, and there is evidence to suggest that his allegations have validity.

The Government and the Military is suddenly singing a parallel tune - almost NOTE for NOTE ...

And today on CBC Radio's morning programme The Current guest host Susan Ormiston gathered three former Canadian Diplomats to speak on the topic of Diplomats who have had their careers ruined for standing in the role of 'whistle blower' and identifying corruption, and problems in the service of the Government.

As I listened, I couldn't help but laugh at the futility of trying to change a bureacracy like the Government ... today we see what happens when a lone voice dares to stand up and say - "there's a problem" ... instead of responding in a way that is open and willing to investigate the problem and seek a just and lasting solution, the Government, like ANY good bureacratic institution, rallies to villify the lone voice ... Instead of opening up the conversation and hearing the voices, they instead say - "he had his opportunity," "there was no undue pressure to be silent" and other nonsensical statements that ring hollow to ANYONE who has had ANY experience in a bureacracy that is under threat.

The JOB in a bureacracy is to "DO YOUR JOB" ...

It ALL sounds remarkably familiar ... when confronted with a toxic, politically charged bureacratic chain of command the status quo - the proverbial party line MUST BE MAINTAINED. The image of "everything is fine" must be supported. The notion that there are problems are anathema ...

It's ALL about secrecy and censorship ... it's ALL about denying the reality of the situation and painting a pretty picture in warm pink fuzzy terms that villifies those who will NOT tow the party line, and who dare to speak out - even if it is an appropriate, and democratically sanctioned setting ...

Mr. Colvin is simply wrong ... he spoke of things that are best hidden away, and NOW the Foreign Affairs department will slowly push him out of the civil service, and end his career. The villification that we've heard from Minister MacKay, Prime Minister Harper, Senator Wallen, and others will slowly continue and expand, and his career will be OVER.

No one likes a whistle blower ... no one like to have the harsh light of reality shone into the dark hidden corners where toxins, corruption, petty politicking, and bullshit lingers in a bureacracy ... listening to the three career diplomats I heard echoes of voices I've heard over the years within the Church ... every bureacracy is ultimately the same - it will protect itself no matter what, and any one who discovers cracks in the foundation, or imperfections in the paint, or concerns in the construction - WILL BE DEALT WITH swiftly and harshly ... the only difference between the Government and the Church is we expect these things from the Government, while the Church purports to be a place of JUSTICE and FAIRNESS.

Richard Colvin is wrong ... he should have "grown up", "moved on," "let it go," "stay silent," and all the other phrases those anonymous voices in the Church keep lofting at me ... no one likes to hear the truth, especially those insecure frightened people cowering in bureacracies ... they will stop at NOTHING to silence the voices that dare to utter a truth that is uncomfortable to hear ...

From where I sit ... Colvin is a hero ... he is standing up for the work our troops are doing on the ground in Afghanistan, and wanting the values of freedom, justice and democracy (and ALL the other things we've wrapped in the flag) to be maintained ... otherwise, why are we in Afghanistan any way??

... the story continues ...

Mary Walsh takes on the She-Wolf ...

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So, not only does the master of interviewing, Mary Walsh find it next to impossible to talk to Sarah Palin on her book tour, the advice Sarah offers Canadians borders on the SCARY ... but, hear straight from Sarah's mouth via the loading dock out behind a Borders Store ... Mary is back, and she's awesome as ALWAYS !!!
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Muppets meet Queen - this is TOO Good not to watch!!

Bet this guy is glad for the Afghanistan Torture Allegations ...

I would be willing to bet that Conservative MP Gerald Keddy is relieved that the media is so focused on the whole debacle that is the Afghanistan Torture Allegation, that his mis-deeds are floating under the radar ...

As an MP for Nova Scotia, he refered to folks in Halifax who are on social assistance - or assumed to be on social assistance as "no-good bastards"!!

The outrage in the house, by his fellow Nova Scotia MPs resulted in Keddy offering an apology ... meanwhile in the House of Commons, we have Minister MacKay trying to hide behind the soldiers on the ground in Afghanistan by shifting the focus to them, and God knows that today we can't criticize our soldiers without being regarded as un-partiotic!!??

The Conservative Government is turning into quite a piece of work ... You have Prime Minister Harper talking about more openness towards the press on Saturday then refusing to take questions - the irony, as my fellow blogger Gord point out over at Following Frodo, is delicious!

Then you have Minister MacKay trying to dismiss the serious allegations that some of the detainees handed over to Afghani authorities might have been tortured ... is it just me, or was this NOT a startling revelation ??? Duh !! Given everything else we know about what's happening in the Afghanistan government - like corruption and fixing elections, is it really such a stretch to think that torturing prisoners was a possibility?? Afterall, the white knights in the battle against Terror used water boarding, isolation, and let's not forget Abu Ghraib prison and the stellar performance of AMERICAN soldiers there ... if the American soldiers fell to torture and mis-treatment, why would we pretend the Afghani's would be immune ... wasn't it an Afghani police officer who turned on British troops a week or so ago and massacred five British troops ...

The litany goes on and on and on ...

I wonder how Minister MacKay can stand up and rebuff the call for a thorough investigation into these allegations ...

But to top it off, Prime Minister Harper is trying to dismiss this issue as nothing more than "Taliban propaganda" ...

All I can say is - OH MY GOD !!!!

The Conservative Government can't be serious that they don't see the need for an inquiry ... this is NOT the fault of the soldiers on the ground ... this can not however be ignored.

No doubt Mr Keddy is breathing a HUGE sigh of relief that he barely ranked a side bar on the online news sites in the midst of this ... BUT all of this just makes the Conservatives look worse and worse and worse ... too bad the Canadian electorate can't connect some dots and see it for themselves ...

The Church of Franz Bibfeldt ...

Theologian Franz Bibfeldt, the originator of the Theology of Accomodation that is rampant throughout the modern church is said to have been guided by the adage: "I dance to the tune that is played."

Writer Dennis Jacobsen observed of Theology of Accomodation in action when he wrote:

"whether it is out of neurotic need to please all sides and be liked by everyone, or because of a calculated fear of alienating the key leaders and key givers of congregations, or simply due to timidity and cowardice, the clarity of conscience in clergy often gets blurred by acqeiescence to accomodation."

Jacobsen then goes on to rightly observe of clergy:

"It is easier to worship and adore the middle-class life of comfort and security."

Fortunately, Jacobsen rejects the Theology of Accomodation that keeps the church comfortably isolated in its neat and tidy sanctuary, and rebuffs anyone who might question that exclusivity. Rather than denying the criticism of the the way things are, Jacobsen embraces the necessity to live things the way they should be.

He notes that often the Church lives a life of accomodation and silence, even when they are surrounded by injustice. The Nazi-era churches of Europe are but one example of those who were more concerned with self-preservation then with living values of faith in a public way.

It's a subtle slope this place of accomodation and silence. The first step is silently saying or doing nothing when an injustice is enacted, or supported. Then slowly, as silence deepens, the willingness to speak out lessens, and soon only whispered side conversations acknowledge the need for justice, openness, and the core values of our faith. The Theology of Accomodation is firmly entrenched, and things appear to be fine. But are they?

To those living within, things are great. The doors are firmly shut, and the status quo is invoked and enforced. Yet outside there lingers many, often more in number then those within, who will not be silent, and who do not accept accomodation nor silence.

In this moment The Church becomes nothing more than a pseudo-church that is a corporate business marketing a product. The Living Gospel is lost in the silence. The crucified Jesus is brushed aside and replaced by a warm pink fuzzy cross that makes everyone feel comfortable.

Over and over, the history of The Church Catholic and Universal teaches us that when those within deny the need for justice, the Theology of Accomodation - the theology of niceness, sameness, beigeness and BLANDNESS, has prevailed.

Fortunately, the history of the Church has also showed us over and over that in those moments, the Spirit moves among those who are outside the safe comfortable sanctuaries. And change begins to stir.

The critics lob at me the message - "move on ... ", "let it go ..." or today's "maybe you're bowling alone ..." It always strikes me as funny - those critics never come from someone directly or openly. They are ALWAYS offered anonymously. Yet for everyone of those comments I have five more, from people who are part of the United Church, but who have pulled away, or who have been forced out, and who say OPENLY - "thank you", "You speak a truth", "we're behind you," and "don't let 'them' beat you down."

My question to those who would anonymously contend that 'everything is fine' - is simply this - if everything is 'fine' why are YOU so AFRAID to acknowledge the voices on the margin who have been hurt, rejected, and beaten by the Theology of Accomodation that is producing declining numbers, withering offerings, and a dying church??

If everything is truly fine, why do I get stopped in grocery stores and hear over and over (and seldom by the same people) a litany of complaints about The Church that have never been taken seriously, and have never been heard? And it comes with the affirmation of what I've been about, and regret at the way I've been treated ...

Oh wait ... I know the answer to that question ... in the Theology of Accomodation, there is NO dissent, because we can not acknowledge that there is any problems or any offense, except by those who will not sit down, be quiet and tow the party line that worships the middle class and seeks to offend no one ... or as Jacobsen notes - "stays in the sanctuary where it can remain irrelevant and do little harm."

Such a stance might be good enough for The Reverend Franz Bibfeldt, but it's NOT faithful. As Bonhoeffer said - "The Church is The Church ONLY when it exists for others."

Just tell me one thing - If everything is FINE and I'm bowling alone, why then do I keep hearing more and more and more stories from people who express their support of my ideas and words, and who say openly they want to go home, but can't until there is a REAL CHANGE?

It doesn't sound "fine" to me, unless I stop my ears and close my eyes ...

In the meantime ... I for one reject the Church of Franz Bibfeldt and its manifestation in our midst ... the church is about living with "a clarity of vision and moral force that is desperately needed by the jaded world." Regretably, mainline denominations have by and large swallowed the Theology of Accomodation, and they can't even see it ...

Help a local school ...

George Fitton School, where Beetle is in grade five is in need of a new playground structure. The one pictured above will be torn down in 2010, leaving the kids with NOTHING but an open field ... the PAC at Fitton school is trying to get a new playground structure funded and built - with the changes to the attendance starting next fall, this will be sorely needed so the kids get some BIG MUSCLE play somewhere in their day ...

There is a poll over at the Aviva Community Fund website that needs YOUR VOTE.

Head over to the web page and vote for the George Fitton Playground by clicking HERE.

You need to register, then you can go back EVERY DAY for the next week and vote again and again and again for this worthwhile project ...

SO, do the kids at Beetle's school a HUGE favour and vote, vote and vote some more ... AND pass the word around - send a note to ALL your friends, colleagues - heck, send it to you ENEMIES for crying out loud ... just send news around over the next couple of days that George Fitton School needs YOUR VOTE.

CLICK HERE and take the time to register and cast your vote - THANKS.

The Social Capital of Churches ...

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Scholar Robert Putnam calls is BONDING Social capital -the interconnections that exist within a community, or within a group within a broader community. They are connections that play themselves out day by day as people function in social, business, and other settings with one another ... the capital aspect is a notion first coined by Coleman some years ago, who saw these interactions as a form of capital that is saved up ... I do something nice for someone, and in return they will do something for me - is the simplest explanation of Social Capital.

There are many nuances of Social Capital, and many ways in which it plays out in a community, an organization or a gathering of people. It is usually something benign and predominantly posititive. But sometimes it becomes something darker and more sinister ...

Putnam identifies Churches as a source of enormous amounts of bonding social capital - the social capital that binds communities together, and helps improve things around them. BUT, social capital in Churches can have a negative face when that "togetherness" becomes exclusive and single-minded.

Frequently when fear enters social capital binds together small groups, and in that fear they exclude others ...

Frequently when these small groups feel threatened they begin to form social capital within a homogenous group, and they openly resist any attempt at breaking this exclusivity ... Putnam cites as his most obvious example the Churches across the Southern US who formed socially homogenous groups to resist racial integration.

What Putnam identifies as needed when BONDING Social Capital has formed exclusive homogenous communities is BRIDGING Social Capital that will break through the walls of exclusivity, and reinvigorate communities by creating most socially tolerant and diverse communities.

In Churches today, the BONDING Social Capital dominates, and has formed communties that are operating from their place of insecurity and fear and forming tight little bands of exclusivity even when they profess to be anything but ... we speak widely of "old guard" and "cliques" and "high school like groups" throughout our congregations, yet we fear taking the next step and identifying these groups who hold sway as WRONG and toxic. Rather than perpetuating BONDING social capital, we need the BRIDGING social capital ... we need to break down the walls that divide, and build familiarity, trust, tolerance, solidarity, cooperation and mutual respect.

Step one in this process is to recognize that there exists in our greater communities large numbers of Church Drop Outs (to use Turner's term), who have been hurt, wounded, and rejected by the church and have walked away ... but they still have yearnings to come home.

Bridging social capital begins by recognizing the reality of these people, and no longer denying they exist, or simply waving them off as irrelevant. Day by Day, week by week, month by month, it is a growing group. Those rebuffed by the "old guard", or the "clique" that holds power deserve to be recognized, and invited back ... BUT, that can not happen while the leadership, and those who are in positions of responsibility will not admit to either the existence of these church drop outs, or their desire to come home.

Step one is owning the situation, and no longer hiding our heads in the sand and pretending everything is fine ... The Church is dying ... a victim of Bonding social capital that shuts out those who are unlike the inner circle ... this is not a faithful response. Jesus welcomed in ALL people, and wasn't about building an institution, or a bureacracy. For Jesus the only rule that mattered was - "we are beloved of God" all the rest was irrelevant.

The Kingdom of God is at hand ... and it is found in abandoning BONDING social capital and embracing Bridging social capital ... and that happens when we stop pretending everything is all right, and we start to invite back the drop outs, the out casts, the cast offs and the others hurt by the church and we LISTEN TO THEM FOR A CHANGE, no matter how uncomfortable their message is ...

It's ALL about honesty !!

The Spirit is calling ... dare we listen ???

and the years keep rolling ...

I was going back over my memory cards to find winter pictures for the upcoming issue of Westman Parent Magazine and I found some of the very first pictures I took with my digital camera back in 2006 ... wow ... it's only been a couple of years, but my how my darlings have grown ...

Time for some truth telling ...

Ann Weems said it well:

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First Person:

You - sitting in the pew next to me - I don't know you.

Oh I know your name.

I know the "Hi, how are you?" part of you.

I know the "Rainy weather we're having, isn't it?" part of you.

But I don't know you -

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Today it happened to the umpteenth time ... I happened across one of my colleagues in ministry who put on a sickeningly sweet smile and asked - "How are you?"

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I answered as I've always answered saying - "Oh fine, thank you ..." and even as the words escaped my lips my heart sank ... their bitterness lingered on my tongue as I realized I had just uttered a polite lie ...

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I am NOT fine.

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I do not want to pretend I'm nice any more.

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I do not want to play the petty politics of our polite society that pretends life is wonderful all the time, and we shouldn't own our real feelings ...

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I want to tell the truth and speak what I'm feeling ...

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I'm angry.

I'm hurt.

I'm bitter.

I'm frustrated.

I'm tired.

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I've spent the last three years being kicked around by the "warm, welcoming, inclusive, open, and liberal" United Church of Canada. I want the CHURCH to live what it believes and stop treating me and countless others like this ... To my colleagues in the Church: TALK the TALK or shut the HELL UP and let those called by the Spirit speak for a change.

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I've been rejected by my Spiritual Home and told - though NOT in words - that I'm no longer welcomed in the place I've called home for my life ... I was CALLED and ORDAINED to a ministry of Word, Sacrament and Pastoral Care, yet the fearfilled gatekeeping has prevented me from embodying that ministry, even though the discernment process they (thankfully) forced me to endure has given me the green light to return to ministry ...

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I've grown tired of being kicked by people who have no personal integrity, and for whom morality is a quaint object of conversation ... Theologically these folks are as deep as a puddle, and most days I think my dope on a rope dog Flute has more BRAINS then they do ...

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I'm exhausted by being forced to count pennies and say "no" to my children while I wonder if I will lose my house by the end of the month because I have drained all my financial resources ...

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I'm tired of having to get day old bread at the local food bank because my children are growing and need things like food to keep from going hungry ...

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I'm tried of pretending it's ALL okay ...

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Today I will start telling the truth.

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Today I will no longer bite my tongue and pretend that a justice outcome was attained by the disciplinary process I under went ... I was taken to task and offered up far more than a mere pound of flesh, yet the "powers that be" have turned a blind eye to what really happened ... The small minded have sent the agenda for long enough ... it's time for truth and openness ... it's time to stop hiding behind polity, procedure, legal advice and posturing - it's time for living our FAITH ...

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I had my tires slashed.
I had my car shot at.

I had my house shot at.

I had someone file an anonymous complaint about me BEATING my children with the CFS.

I had my reputation called into question by libel and slander.

I had my name sullied by people who have much to hide and wanted to cast the stark light on someone else lest THEIR SKELETONS fall into public view.

I've lost my job, my career and my ability to earn a living.

I've had people tear me down and tear me apart for long enough.

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I'm done playing nice and pasting on a fake smile and saying "I'm okay."

I'm not okay, I'm tired of the triumph of the toxic in my life.

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BUT, today I'm DONE with it ALL.

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It's time for truth telling and I for one have NOTHING to hide.

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It's time to scrub the toxins clean and to hold people accountable for thier actions, thier words and their cowardice.

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It's time for The United Church of Canada to admit that it is NOT what it believes itself to be ... like the wise Gordon B. Turner said 20 some years ago - our ministry is to the Church Drop Outs who have been battered, bloodied, beaten and bashed by the Church and who want to come home ... The United Church of Canada has become an exclusive, restrictive, fear-filled social club that pretends everything is fine ...

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Today on behalf of the others who have long been ignored by the "good" church people, I serve notice that we are not going to knock on the door and ask to be invited in ... we're gonna kick in the door and like Jesus' in the Temple, we're gonna kick over tables and we're gonna reclaim The Church ... today I'm done waiting on the ash heap ... the Spirit is calling me and I will follow ...

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Today the Reign of Christ begins ... and I for one welcome it ...

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Come Holy Spirit, COME !!!!

Remembering ... Lest We Forget ...

Today is a day of Remembrance ... a day to recall the cost of our lifestyle, and the freedoms we enjoy ... it is a day to pause and remember those who have fallen many miles from home, and who's remain lie on foreign soil ... it's a day to pause and remember the young men and women who have willingly gone off to serve their country, and who have paid the sacrifice for our freedom ...

Today I remember Herb, the 105 year old gentleman who regaled me with stories of his involvement at a place called Vimy. Pointing at Pierre Berton's account of the battle at Vimy he snorted "I don't have to read that ... I was THERE!!" He spoke of the gas attacks, urinating on his hankerchief and holding it over his mouth and nose as the noxious clouds rolled by ... he spoke of losing comrades as they went over the top ... he spoke of his wounds and the wounds of his brother who would succumb years later to the wounds and lungs weakened by the gas ... he spoke of coming home and seldom speaking of his experience lest the dark dreams that haunted his youth would return ...

Today I remember Frank, a gentleman poet who took his experiences in Italy and wove them into power works of poetry that reflected the futility of war, and the senselessness of countless deaths on the field of battle ... he spoke of his experiences, he shared his poetry, and he vocalized a contempt for those who think war and battles solve anything ..,. "Peace is the only option," he said tearfully, "too many lives are wasted in war ..."

Today I remember the Mosquito pilot who flew planes that had in part been crafted in the factory his family owned in Southern Ontario ... the fear that came while engaging in dog fights was lessened by the knowledge that parts of his plane might have been put together by his family and friends "back home." Flying in the dark in the small wooden fighter/bomber, he felt the support of those who loved him, and who he was fighting for ...

Today I remember the quiet memories of a land craft pilot who served in Dieppe, Sicily, and Normandy, ferrying soldiers to the beaches and pulling away as the landscape erupted in cacophany of noise, sharpnel and blood ... "54 of us went ashore that day ..." he spoke quietly, "and only one came back ..." He told of turning to his co-pilot only to find a bloody mess where his head had been ... watching as the 52 soldiers who stepped into the surf were mercilessly mowed down by enemy fire ... he spoke of the boot that pushed his chest as he tried to climb out of the bloodied craft ... "Stand down soldier," barked the officer pushing him back, "you need to do YOUR DUTY !!" A boat hook removed the body and a bucket of salt water washed away the blood ... a second man leapt into the co-pilots position and 52 more soldiers climbed down to hit the beaches of Dieppe ... "it was horrible ..." His voice trailed off into a deep silence ...

Today I remember my Grandfather who shared the uproarious stories of chowing down on fried bologna and onions in a heaving North Atlantic while the newbies on board his Corvette hurled thier lunch and curled up in thier hammocks ... his tales of Polly the parrot that he brought back to a very Conservative Chesley Ontario after it had shared quarters and definitely learned how to "curse like a sailor" ... his occassional stories of the convoys across the cold grey Atlantic to places like Murminsk, Londonderry and Rjeyavik ... stories that seldom visited the grim side of serving in the Navy, but highlighted the comradery ...

Today I remember the many men and women - soldiers, sailors and aviators, who have shared their stories, and who entrusted to me the tales of thier youth spent on battle fields half a world away ... quietly, at times speaking no louder than a whisper I heard of the Horror and the Heroism of battles that would slip away into the sands of time if they didn't share their stories ... Vimy, Yrpes, Dieppe, Sicily, Juno, Cassino, Kapyong ... Soldiers, Peace Keepers, and Veterans ... they carry their stories and their memories, and today, for a brief flickering moment, we pause to share their Remembrance, and to give thanks for ALL those who have served in uniform and who have given far more than many of us every realize or appreciate ...

Today we honour those who have fallen ... and those who have served and who were forever changed ...

Today we remember ... Lest We Forget ...

Revisiting a Remembrance Day Reminder ...

Change you can believe in ... The Dream Goes On!!

The same week when the media is looking back to the time 20 years ago when the Berlin Wall came down, and a dark period in modern history drew to a close, the Media is marking the passing by the US Congress, of the bill to reform health care provision ... the shift is not as momentous, but no less historic - our southern cousins have joined the fellowship of Universal Health Care !!!

While the success of this does not rest solely on the shoulders of the sitting President, one can not overlook his fingerprints on this process. Universal Health Care was a central plank in his election campaign and last night the Bill passed and a huge step was taken - every American will have now have access to affordable and quality Health Care.

Nice job Mr Obama - you and your nation have done well !!!

A Happy Accident ...

On Sunday Morning after worship Noahkila, Ms. H. and I went to "see" the Stanley Cup at the Scotia Bank in Portage ... we ended up getting our picture taken with it ...


Kind of cool, even if we're not really big hockey fans ...


check it out:

Happy Birthday to the Sesame Street Gang ...

40 YEARS !!!
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My gawd ... is it possible that we've been enjoying sunny days and sweeping the clouds away in the place where the air is clear and friendly neighbours have come to play ????
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It's hard to imagine that it was forty years ago today that it ALL started ...
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Happy Birthday to the crew on Sesame Street, from all of us who have grown up watching, singing, dancing and playing along ... it's been an awesome journey !!!
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How it ALL began ...

(This one is for Beetle ... )

Remember when?? This is how it began 40 years ago ...

Been Writing ...

I'm beginning to realize, that even though I'm not earning my living at it, I AM A WRITER. I am a contributing writer to no less then three publications - two in Brandon and one in Ontario, and I am constantly working on an article for one of them, or a short story that his wiggling around in my head ... and I'm going to try to follow the advice of Chris Baty's ideas in "No Plot? No Problem." and try to get some of the book and novel ideas I've been playing with for years, down on paper ...
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So - I will say it with out shame or fear - I AM A WRITER !!!

And for what it's worth, some of my latest published writings are available on line (as well as in print) ...

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For my latest contribution to the Brandon based weekly newspaper The Wheat City Journal on the benefits of Guaranteed Income click here - and for more info on Guaranteed Income scroll down to the posting for October --, and read the interview transcript from Hugh Segal's appearence on CBC's The Sunday Edition.

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AND

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For my latest contributions to the November Issue of Brandon's Westman Parent magazine click here - I am so proud to be a member of the team who pulls this publication together each month, even if I am merely one of the writers ... it's a great publication, and it is almost entirely based in WestMan!!.

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Now ... back to my writing ... okay, first I have to start the laundry, then do some grocery shopping, walk Flute and Oboe, AND do the dishes ... but you get the idea !!