Lessons from Scriptures ...

The modern Church could learn from King David ...

When the Prophet Nathan confronted the King about his behaviour in regards to Bathsheba and her loyal husband Uzziah, the King could have responded in anger and defensiveness. But instead the King was open to the prophet's words and not only heard the harsh judgment being offered, the King accepted the condemnation and begged for forgiveness.

Today in the Modern Church when you dare to suggest that we could do better when it comes to any number of issues, the response is not like that of King David's.

Looking back over my own experience in the Church and reflecting on it and that of others who dared to be outspoken and even slightly controvertial, and I've come to realize that if we dare to:

Suggest that we could be doing more to address issues of living our welcome and you will experience a response of anger and defensiveness.

Suggest that we could be doing more to address issues of poverty and homelessness in our midst and the response may put your job at risk.

Suggest that a pastoral charge may have issues that need to be addressed and faced, and you could be putting more than your job at risk ... I've had my house shot at, my tires slashed, my children threatened, and my job abruptly terminated - other colleagues have experienced firings, intimidation and threats, and in at least two cases FIRE BOMBINGS.

What saddens me most of all is that in the greater Church there is a tendancy to do two things when such issues are raised - the first is to blame the victim and question why they would foolishly put themselves in such a scenario, and the second is to poo poo the experience and try to deny ANY connection to the Church at all.

To turn back to the example of King David - perhaps it's time for the Church to look back and learn from its own history and heritage.

Instead of pouncing on the folks who dare to speak up we should instead listen to what they are saying and ask ourselves the tough questions about whether or not there is truth to the accusation, and what we could and should be doing better.

To cite one last example - I remember being at a Conference AGM where the issue of being an AFFIRMING Community was under discussion. Speaker after speaker noted that 'we' already were a welcoming, accepting and AFFIRMING place.

Then one of the visible and outspoken voices in the Gay, Lesbian, Bi-Sexual and Transgendered Community stepped and said "You think we're welcoming? Sorry think again ..."

What followed was a litany of ways in which Gay, Lesbian, Bi-Sexual and Transgendered people feel excluded and shut out in the United Church of Canada. The speaker offered a thoughtful, respectful and insightful list of observations and experiences ... a prophetic and necessary voice had spoken. The observations offered were uncomfortable but TRUE. And came from the very people who were to be welcomed in by the conversation being undertaken.

Next up to the mike were a number of people who stood and said essentially - "No, You're WRONG."

Instead of hearing the prophetic voice as an opportunity to address an issue in a constructive and welcoming way, the speakers who followed spoke from a defensive and borderline angry place what rejected the suggestion that our reality was somehow different from the perception we've created.

The Church is not, and was not what we thought it to be. Instead of addressing that simple truth, the response was defensive ANGER that tried to denounce and reject the speaker who dared to utter a prophetic truth.

Today I continue to marvel at the unwillingness of the Church to take its lumps and deal with the FACT that there continues to be a vast disconnect between what we say, what we believe and what we do ... not everywhere, but in enough places that we should be concerned.

Instead of responding to the prophetic observations and proclamations with anger and defensiveness, we should be willing to take a page from King David's book, and respond with some humility, some contrition, and a willingness to BE THE CHANGE WE SEEK.

The world expects more from the Church than empty words ... and that alone should move us past our critical defensiveness !!!

The Prophetic Voice ...

"Get a job!!"

"Stop abusing the system."

"Get off welfare."

And on and on the rhetoric goes ...

Yesterday I was privileged to share some time with the folks who are trying to run the Food Banks across Canada that provide food, opportunity and most importantly HOPE to the marginalized in our urban communities from coast to coast.

What struck me was the commonality of the frustrations they face in trying to do the work they are doing. Work that no one else really wants to do, and work that too many seem to criticize and condemn without an inkling of what they are really doing.

The notion of arms length charity comes to mind ...

But what struck me was hearing the executive director of a Food Bank (and remember that Food Bank here is about more than just the daily distribution of hampers out of a facility - NO Food Bank is limited ONLY to hamper distribution. They do SO MUCH MORE!!), here in Ontario who said that along with incredibly giving and generous people in her community are ALSO the standard conservative folks who refuse to donate a thin dime because they've worked hard for their money and see no reason why others can't just do the same, and their circle of friends in various service clubs and country clubs feel EXACTLY the same way and support the political candidates who see the world through the same narrow point of view.

Not surprisingly, this experience is echoed EVERY COMMUNITY from coast to coast. Anywhere there is a food bank, a soup kitchen, an emergency shelter or people on welfare or any form of assistance, there is the same hollow, hurtful and selfishly defensive rhetoric.

Then one of my personal heroes, David Northcott from Winnipeg Harvest shared his experience of trying to involve the Churches of Manitoba in addressing the issues of hunger, poverty, homelessness and the other urgent needs that accompany these challenges. He used the example of speaking to a UCC in Manitoba where he shared the work that Winnipeg Harvest does, offered examples of how the work they do makes a difference, then David cited the Biblical call to care for the widows and orphans among us only to hear THE MINISTER scoff at the suggestion that the Church COULD and SHOULD be doing more in addressing poverty issues in our midst.

David then said - "I don't get it. Why is this so hard. People are hungry. Feed them. Why is it so complicated ?"

Why indeed David.

Why do we make it so complicated in the Church?
Why do we make it so political?
Why do we deny the prophetic calling from within and without the Church that tells us that what we're doing is nice, but it's NOT ENOUGH.

Today I posted a comment on Facebook based on David's comment, and have been thinking about it since ... and I've realized that this dillemma is EXACTLY why the esteemed J.S. Woodsworth left the Methodist Church.

Woodsworth was deeply involved in addressing issues of poverty amongst the immigrant and inner city people of Winnipeg. His thinking came down to one simple idea: HELPING PEOPLE IN NEED. To Woodsworth, the politics and the posturing had no place. People were in need, and they NEEDED help. The role of the Church Woodsworth was simple: address that need and stop defending our complacency and our self serving justification of wealth.

Were Woodsworth's words and proclamations comfortable to the fine old Methodists like the Eaton family of Toronto who had amassed considerable wealth? Probably not ... and if the Church then is ANYTHING like the Church now I have no doubt whatsoever that the Eaton clan and others of similar ilk who had considerable wealth, power and influence sought to silence the prickly voices like Woodsworth in the name of a welcoming Methodism.

Today we have few prophetic voices like Woodsworth.

Today those of us who dare to question the status quo and ask if there is MORE that could be done face the harsh judgement of our colleagues and our denomination.

The criticism is frequently couched in softened language that points out our successes and tried to temper the judgment being offered out of a fear of offending those who are involved in the first place ... it's an interesting conundrum really. Why should the people who are deeply involved in supporting food banks and soup kitchens and outreach ministries be offended when a prophetic voice - be it mine, or ANYONE else's dares to suggest that there could and should be more that we can do???

Why is the response from THESE involved people defensive rather than a relieve "whew!!"

To my mind, the folks who are deeply involved in the needed outreach should appreciate the willingness of someone to step up and speak out about the needs around us.

The prophetic voice is not about popularity, it is about truth.

The truth is - we have many people doing amazing things, but we have TOO MANY people NOT doing anything, and too many people NOT doing enough, and the pulpits in our land have fallen into a place where the messages being delivered are warm pink fuzzy proclamations that offer few challenges and fewer uncomfortable moments to those sitting in the pews.

If we look back on the writings and research done since Pierre Burton penned his tome "The Comfortable Pew" almost three generations ago, and followed the thread through the work of Gordon Turner, Reg Bibby and countless others, why is it so damned hard to accept the fact that the United Church today has become a pale shadow of what it once was.

Our spiritual forebearers were folks like Ryerson, Woodsworth, Crosby and others who lived the idea of the Social Gospel, which was embodying and sharing the Kingdom of God in TODAY'S world. Today, we nod to the Social Gospel heritage, but we're more concerned about NOT offending people then we are comforting the marginalized.

There are fabulous people out in our communities who are embracing and living the values of the Social Gospel movement in the name of the Church, but I will continue to maintain that many of those who could and should be doing the same AREN'T, and many more are actively discouraging any hint of the Social Gospel movement in the Church and Society, and that must change if we are to remain relevant AND FAITHFUL to the Gospel that calls us.

AND, like the broken record that I have apparently become, I will say again - the first step in this needed and looming renewal demands the presence of Prophetic Voices that come out of the wilderness and call us back to faithfulness.

People like Amos, Jeremiah, Micah and Isaiah were not well liked, and modern Church history shows us that heroic figures like Ryerson, Woodsworth, King and others who called for FAITHFUL change were seldom liked or respected in their own time, but when you are letting the Spirit speak through you the TRUTH WILL PREVAIL.

Faith is not a popularity contest. It never was ...

Random Thoughts on a Tuesday Afternoon ...

On Saturday, while Ms H was playing Hockey in a tournament in Sarnia, I was blessed and privileged to have a coffee with my friend, mentor and inspiration in ministry Rev. Bob.

Rev. Bob arrived at my home church of Centennial United in Stratford when I was in my teens and was struggling with life, the universe and my place in the Church. He became my confessor, friend and confidante. He has inspired and challenged me over the years, and most of all, he has ALWAYS taken the time to sit and listen and talk when I most needed it ...

I look back on numerous fabulous conversations over the past three decades that have covered everything conceivable topic, and that have helped me wrestle with big issues and concerns in my life.

On Saturday we sat down and talked for the first time in almost 10 years ... we had reconnected briefly last year when he came to Mom's memorial ... our conversation involved getting caught up on our respective kids and family, and touching base about the people and places that had influence on both of us in our respective journeys.

But what stood out most of all for me, was the re-affirmation of my core beliefs and values, and the importance of what it is I have sought to be about in ministry over the last 20 plus years. Bob shared his experiences of being bruised and wounded by the toxicity within the Church, and the utter failure of our Denominational leadership to deal with the bad behaviour some people (both lay and ordered) are capable of.

We talked about being pummelled by people hiding behind their faith and trying to recreate the Church in their narrow minded outlook on the cosmos.

And we talked about the appalling cowardice of the Church to truly address the issues before us as people of faith ... "There is no place for prophets ..." Bob said over and over.

I remember being a teen and hearing Bob say, "what the Church needs now is a prophetic voice willing to address things ..." He like my other mentor Mervyn Reuber (whom I've cited previously) has often said the Church has become a wishy-washy organization that is more concerned about appearances, and not offending anyone, than being a Church.

Rev. Reuber put it bluntly when he said The Church needs to be the Body of Christ Risen and Incarnate and VISIBLE in the world, not some namby-pamby social group that gives you a warm pink fuzzy for attending.

Both Bob and Mervyn have expressed the need for the Church to comfort the afflicted and to afflict the comfortable, yet despite their voices and that of countless others echoing the same things, at heart the Church - the United Church - has become a Church that values peace and good governance over living and sharing the True Gospel.

We lack the prophetic voice.

Sound familiar??
I think I've said this before here and elsewhere.
I've been criticized for self identifying as a prophet (something I haven't done by the way - I've identified my preaching as prophetic, but like the Biblical Prophets of old, I take no credit for that, I am merely echoing and amplifying what has been placed within this vessel by the Spirit).
AND, I've been battered, beaten and rejected for daring to speak up and speak out.

Today I've been reading about the life of St Francis Xavier, and the chronology of failures and rejections he endured in his life ... yet, despite ALL of this, and his poor standing in the values of the Church of his day, he is now regarded as a Saint.

Francis didn't play well with others. His ministry was not one that was well received by the people in places of position and power, and ultimately he died rejected and marginalized by the very Church he served ... yet today a few Centuries later, he's heralded as a Saint while his critics (those who claimed to be right and just) are forgotten.

This simple reality alone should be ALL that we need in the Modern Church. The voices that have the lasting impact and that embody the change and dynamism of our faith are NOT those voices that speak from the corridors of power, or the offices of prestige and honour. Instead, real change - meaningful and FAITHFUL change comes from the margins where the prickly, the uncomfortable and the marginalized voices speak.

The SAME voices those in places of power and position desperately want to silence !!!

So, today I know in the fibre of my being that the path I've trod in the Church, even though it has been uncomfortable at times, is one that I can faithful continue to follow ... though, like anyone else I like to be given words of support from time to time, I would by far rather spend my life living and proclaiming the Gospel I find when I open my Bible and read with an open heart and mind, than spend my life grasping and grappling for approval and advancement.

The Church is not a corporation. It is however what Reverend Reuber described so aptly a decade an a half ago when he said - "it's the Body of Christ Risen and Incarnate and VISIBLE in the world, not some namby-pamby social group that gives you a warm pink fuzzy for attending"

The Church is where the Prophets need to speak out again ...

The list of topics is pretty big:
- closing of manufacturing plants in Canada and the loss of jobs

- people losing jobs and hope in the name of excessive profits

- CEO's and executives making HUGE salaries while workers struggle to put food on the table

- an impulsive consumerist culture that values stuff over people and relationships

- an environment that is collapsing under uncontrolled development

- a society obsession with a fast food diet that is anything but healthy

- the failure to pay and compensate people adequately for their work and employment

- the rising tide of hunger and poverty EVERYWHERE

- the growing wealth of the 1% and the total lack of power by the remaining 99%

- the need for housing, education and health care by more people that we can count

- the distraction from these and other issues by a media obsessed with celebrities and bling

- the lack of vision and hope ...

The list goes on and on and on ... and under lying it all is a realization that 20 years ago an American Comedian named Bill Hicks was warning us that a steady diet of KFC, McD's, and American Gladiator was an intentional attempt to distract us from reality and lull us into a place of complacency

Hicks was a prophet whether he knew it or not ... it could be perhaps because of his relatively religious upbringing, or his uncanny intelligent observation of the world around him, OR it could be because the Spirit was working through him to share with the world a message that needed to be heard.

Regardless of why - the message Hicks carried was smack on, and we ignore it twenty years later at our peril.

The prophetic voices are speaking ... and it would seem that the one place place they are not welcomed, is the one place they should be speaking the most clearly ...

This weekend, for the first time in a very very very long time, I have hope that one day the prophetic voices will once again echo from the pulpits of the United Church ...

One day I won't feel like the lone voice in the wilderness calling !!!

One day ... it will happen !!!
Thanks be to God !!

This week's theme ...

Several times this week I've found myself in conversations about prayer.

On Thursday night, our Remit Study group discussed the 20 Articles of Faith of the United Church and actually spent some time focused on the Article of Faith "On Prayer."

We discussed the calming effect of prayer, the power it has to offer hope, and the impact it has on our lives whether we're conscious of it or not.

Today when I signed into Facebook I found a prayer request from my cousin, asking for prayers for a friend of her's who is entering hospice and preparing to die from breast cancer ... it's a hard request to read and consider, and I have no doubt it is even harder to make. Yet, I have no qualms offering prayers for a too young woman I have never met, and for her circle of family and friends in this difficult time.

As I replied to the posting I got thinking about the place and power of prayer in our lives and our world, and the many ways in which prayer has left a legacy in my faith journey.

I thought about the Christmas Eve in Bella Coola when we gathered in prayer to pray for a community in the Southern US where a family had experienced a housefire and several little boys had tragically perished ... as we prayed on the remote west coast I would later learn that community prayed for us ... that year, we had two of our members dying of cancer (one, a young mom, would be gone before January rolled into February), and we had a community member home from the burn unit in Vancouver to spend the holidays with their family.

The journey home for that recovering burn victim was one of prayer too ... when his accident happened, I immediately put a prayer request out on the old ECUNET internet system that we used extensively at the time. I quickly received replies from ALL over the world. I remember one coming from a research station at the South Pole, and another from a small Norwegian village. It was TRULY remarkable to consider how many prayers were offered from ALL over the world - such is the strength of the digital mediums we have around us.

I had printed and shared each of the prayers as they came with the family, and they in turn read them over and over and over to their beloved husband, father, grandfather and friend ... in time, he himself would say tht his recovery was BECAUSE of the prayers from his family, his friends, his community and from countless strangers around the world who took time to pray and care.

Today, this young woman may be beyond a recovery of her physical body, but the gift of prayer offers much for those who accompany her on this journey. Prayer brings peace. Prayer brings comfort. Prayer brings strength and courage. And most of all, prayer brings the knowledge that we are never alone. In the moment when we are remembered in prayer, we are connected with the circle of humanity who care for and care about us, and we are reminded of our connection with God.

Prayer is a gift ... and this week I've been reminded of what a marvelous gift it is.

Random thoughts on a Thursday morning ....

From the "Things to make you go hmmmm ..." department:

- how do you know when Blue Cheese has gone bad?

- can sour cream really go bad?

- would the people who flip me the bird and tell me to 'f--- off!!' in front of my house when they are SPEEDING, come to Church and say the same thing to my face?

- why is EVERYONE getting tatoos and piercings to express their individuality?

- who was the first person to figure out how to successfully MAKE coffee and tea? (and WHY??)

- how have computers saved us time? and paper? and stress? (SERIOUSLY !!??)

- why do we spend so much time, energy and money to consult 'experts' from outside only to have them arrive and tell us what we ALREADY know? What ever happened to good old common sense?

- why do we worship and diefy celebrities, movie actors, and sports stars, only to react so harshly when they start to believe the press and act badly?

- why do we seek solace in shopping and rampant consumerism only to marvel at reality shows like "Hoarders" and "Storage Wars" where people are overwhelmed by too much stuff ?

Teetering on the Edge ...

I typed the words "teetering on the edge" into a search engine and the first image that popped up was this one - from an article about a three foot wide wooden "road" being built in the Hunan province of China.

How apt? I thought ... it embraces much of what I have been thinking and reflecting lately.

The other day I read the article about the strike/lock out at the Caterpillar locomotive plant in London Ontario and how the corporation is asking workers to take a 50% reduction in wages and a roll back in benefits while the company itself is posting record profits, and has for the last few years been expanding.

The management has locked the workers out and has threatened to move the jobs south if the workers don't take the offer ... once again, good paying Canadian jobs are about to simply disappear so that companies can protect their bottom line and continue to ensure profits for the shareholders.

As I read these accounts - and there have been and continue to be many of them in our media, I can't help but wonder when we will reach the tipping point as a nation where there are two classes of people - the investors (the wealthy) and the part-time workers (the poor), with almost no one in between.

In recent days I've had within my circle of friends and family news of losing a job with limited and challenging prospects for the future, struggles to find affordable and adequate housing in a frightening market that is completely out of control, and the day to day struggles just to make ends meet and get through the day ... Taking a step back and reading the various media sources I consult on a regular basis, I hear these same concerns voiced across North America as people are finding themselves umemployed, over extended and facing a bleak future - ALL the while, our politicans and our pundits tell us the economy is rebounding and recovering.

Really?? The economy is recovering?? For WHO??

The only people who seem to be benefitting and enjoying a recovering economy are the wealthy and the investors who are happy that thier various portfolios are rebounding and posting profits. But for the workers who are suddenly out of jobs, and facing unemployment or WORSE, employment in part-time jobs with NO benefits, there is no solace, and no peace.

We may have thousands of NEW jobs, but every indication would tell us that those new jobs are a pale shadow of what they are replacing.

Where there were once good paying jobs with benefits and future in the many factories and plants across our country, now there are lower paying jobs with limited to no benefits and absolutely NO long term security. The owners of the plants are forever threatening to move these jobs off shore where cheaper workforces with eagerly take on the tasks of building the bits and pieces our consumerist culture erroneously values.

I've observed before that one is hard pressed to find domestically produced products and items, and I've wondered what the long term effects of this will be ... I fear we're standing on the brink of not only realizing, but experiencing the profound and devestating effects of this long term obsession with shopping, shopping, and shopping.

Cheaper is not necessarily better, and cheaper may have a HUGE long term effect beyond the few extra coins in our pockets at the end of the transaction.

Ballooning credit.

Limited job prospect.

Migrating business ventures.

Economic devestation.

The list goes on and on ... as I reflect on this, I think of an observation in one of the books on our global food supply that noted the $1.99 burger at the local fast food joint may be subsidized by various levels of Government through a HUGE diversity of programmes and public policies. If memory serves, the author suggested that that cheap two dollar burger may be costing the tax payers upwards of ten dollars when we factor in the subsidizes from field to table - all in the name of a cheap burger with questionable nurtitional and culinary value.

What if we stopped living the consumerist lifestyle that values cheap over quality?

What if we put people before profits?

What if we lived our lives mindful of what our the many effects our decision in the grocery store has from field to table?

What if we stopped valuing shopping over everything else, and instead began to address the hungry ache that permeates our lives and our culture?

What if we finally recognized that our economic system is not just broken, it is an utter disaster that is destroying communities, families and the lives of individuals?

What if we finally opened our eyes to the simple fact we are teetering over the brink, and if we don't rethink things SOON, we will plunge into an abyss from which recover may be extremely difficult if not impossible???

Regardless of what President Bush said after 9/11 - shopping and the consumerist lifestyle will not save us ... it will only help to drive us further into a bankruptcy of mind, body, spirit and economics that will leave us impoverished in ways that are simply unimaginable ...

It's time for the Church to step up and reclaim the voice that prophets like Bill Phipps and Walter Brueggemann have offered, and instead of whispering in the sanctuary, we need to shout it from the roof tops ... our society is broken ... it's time to fix it and bring the transformative healing that is part of our genetic material as the Body of Christ !!

With a gust of wind ...

The other day I went out to fill the bird feeders on the back deck and was amazed at the myriad of fragile bird prints in the freshly fallen snow. The tiny tree toed prints criss crossed the deck in around the spilled seed, leaving a tenuous reminder of who had been visiting the feeders.

I tried not to disturb them too much as I filled the feeders with more seed, then I started to examine the intricate little markings and realized the metaphor they offered ...

It has been a little over a year since Mom died ... and it will soon be a year since I lost my brother Scott. Along the way, I said my farewells to three other important friends in my life, and was left reeling at the sorrow and sadness that accompanied these successive passings.

On an intellectual and professional level I am very familiar and well versed in the many paths of grief. This left me in the position of being able to explain and understand what I was experiencing, but being unable to do much about it ... thankfully I have found support from a number of caring and wonderful people who have walked this journey with me as friend and family.

Yet, as I stood and looked at the tiny fragile prints in the newly fallen snow, I realized how much life is like them ...

One good gust of wind and they are altered or changed ... they are a thing of beauty, but their beauty comes from their fragility ... they leave an impression but can be gone in a breath ...

We want to leave an impression with our existence. I have numerous readings that celebrate this and offer suggestions on how to leave positive impressions on the people around us. But the harsh reality of our world says even the most profound impression is fleeting ...

We may touch the lives of our community, our family, our circle of friends ... but in a few years soon that impression, like the tiny foot prints in the snow, is gone and is nothing more than a vague memory ...

Today as I look out on my back deck. now wet and bare from the rain and warm temperatures, I can see that the snow and the prints are long gone ... yet, they remain with me as part of my memory.

Today I am reminded that life is a precious gift that is truly beautiful BECAUSE of its fragility, and because of that, we should and we MUST savour that fragile gift everyday, because we never know when a gust of wind might come and forever alter it ...

Mementos ... a reminder of what is really important ...

I'm becoming increasingly cynical about our culture and society lately ... As I drive to and from the larger urban centres I can't help but wonder (bordering on a rant) why we (speaking collectively) keep building such MASSIVE houses.

I honestly wonder what the appeal of having a 4000+ sqr ft home really is ... I can barely keep up keeping my little 1900 sqr foot house clean ... twice the space makes me wonder what these people do to have that kind of time ... or income to hire cleaning services ...

Really though ... when will the realization be made that ALL of this consumerism is a dead end street move beyond the Occupy Movement and the few voices that stand on the margins lamenting what we as a society and culture have lost?? When will people wake up to realize that shopping will never ease the ache within, and bigger and better just means running on a treadmill that has no end ... as I ponder this I can't help but picture George Jetson on the treadmill that he and Astro hop on at the end of the Jetson's ... once you buy into the consumerist model of "shop, shop, shop" you can't hop off until it destroys you. And the rise of shows about consumers overwhelmed by debt and spending combined with the economic meltdown in our Southern Neighbour a few short months ago, would suggest that destruction is already being felt ...

This Holiday Season, what I've come to appreciate is the value of the intangible things in our lives ... our family ... our relationships ... and the connectedness to things that money can not buy.

The picture above is the inscription in a tiny black leather bound Bible that I found amongst the detritus and mementos from my Grandparents' house that my Aunt had put out on Boxing Day for the family to choose from ... for the last few years the various items had been stored in boxes in a basement, and my Aunt and her family decided the time had come to clean some of the stuff out and let us chose our mementos and tokens to remember Grandma, Grandpa and Uncle Drake ...

Oh what a trip down memory lane it was ... pictures and wall hangings invoked recollections about where in the house they once stood ... glasses and mugs called to mind family gatherings and favourite beverages (one set of glasses had me laughing at the recollection of Uncle Drake enjoying his 'garden cocktail and rum' at Work Day, or Christmas, or Thanksgiving ...) ... and over and over the comment was made - "I remember this ..." and a story would follow.

For a brief shimmering moment, Grandma and Grandpa were there ... smiling and joining in the fun as we were once again at HOME at 58 Austin Drive, even if we were still very much standing in a basement in New Hamburg !!

Such are the power of our memories and the mementos that connect that thread of thought and recollection that we might so easily overlook in our busy consumerist lifestyle ...

What I've come to realize lately, is that one can be overwhelmed with stuff, and need to build bigger shelves, larger rooms, and even rent locker facilities to tuck it ALL away ... but in the process, you lose touch with what it is, and you no longer are able to use nor appreciate it. The extreme of this collecting is the folks we see on the Hoarder shows who are utterly and totally overwhelmed by their "STUFF" and no longer can function ...

Alas, our culture though has become oriented to this acquisition cycle that sees people shopping and collecting and amassing huge amounts of stuff ... the newest and the best ... the biggest and the brightest ... over and over we measure the value of our existence, not by the relationships we have and value, but by the standards of how much, how big, how many and how valuable our STUFF is ...

Fortunately, there runs underneath all of this a current calling on us to simplify our lives and to declutter our world. We don't need to have the biggest house, the fastest car, the most up to date tv or computer ... instead we can and should find our contentment with a simple word: ENOUGH.

Having a warm comfortable bed is enough.
Having food to eat and share is enough.
Having a safe place to sit and enjoy the circle of family and friends is enough.
Having adequate clothing that is comfortable and clean is enough.

Over and over the self-help gurus are challenging us to realize a simple truth that is ALL around us if we simply dare to look.

We don't have to opt into the rat race of buying, shopping and collecting ... instead we can opt out and look back at the simpler times when having enough was a the ULTIMATE goal.

My Grandparents' home was never huge. But it was always comfortable.
Grandma and Grandpa always had enough to look after all of us and any visitors who came along, but they also lived very simply. There was little extravagance in their lives or in their home, but there was ALWAYS quality. Quality in the food consumed, in the furniture and household goods used, and in the clothing worn. But they never flaunted, nor did they live to excess ... they epitomized the very word ENOUGH.

There is a lesson there ... one that we've lost as a culture.

We've come to think that it is the normative way of living, to have a lifestyle that EXCEEDS that of our parents. Maybe, the lesson is to seek a lifestyle that matches that of our parents and grandparents.

My grandparents lived well ... they owned a car, but often walked ... they owned a single tv, but usually spent time reading ... they owned a single black phone hanging on the wall, but usually communicated by face to face visits and hand written letters ... they owned a house with lots of space, but never filled with with clutter and stored items ... they owned a yard and had gardens producing flowers, vegetables, and fruit that was used to pass on joy and delight to others ...

My Grandparents valued the good things in life ... but never let those things supersede their family and the wonderful relationships that were nurtured over time between us ... and maybe that's the greatest lesson they have left for us: that we should and must value each other more than any of the mementos, items and things that clutter our lives with stuff.

When I look at some of the things I've gained from mom's house, and from that of my grandparents' what I see is not their momentary value, but rather the memories that lie behind it ... the Irish coins from Grandpa remind me of his War stories about the places he'd been and the sights he'd seen ... the old green fountain pen of Grandma's reminds me of the letters she wrote and the hours spent poking through her brown writing desk in the corner of the living room ... and the celery vases and other items from Mom's remind me of how Mom loved to buy beautiful things to pass on to others in the hopes they would share her appreciation of them ... but over and over, I realize that ALL of these things are just stuff. The value is within me, in the stories and memories and recollections that come to mind when I see and touch those items ...

In 50 or 100 years, the true value of the stuff will be gone when no one is left to tell the stories. The stories, crafted from memories and recollections of what was, are what are truly important, and these stories will never be held within massive houses, or distant storage lockers, and these stories will never be found in a shopping mall, or at the big block store's latest sales. Instead these stories are found when we nurture and refresh the bonds of relationships that exist within and between us as family and friends.

One day, I truly hope our society and our culture will finally realize the foolishness of our consumerist ways, and take a step back physically, economically, spiritually and emotionally ...

I'm a TRUE Canadian ...

NOT once, but TWICE over the holiday shopping I got clobbered by someone pushing a shopping cart and BOTH times I said "Oh, I'm sorry!" in response.

To recap: THEY clobbered ME, and I apologized !!!!

I am SUCH a true Canadian!! It's a Canadian thing to say "Sorry" - and when someone hits you with a cart it's almost force of habit (though, it would appear this is a Canadianism that is waning - but that's a reflection for another day).

Looking back, I have to marvel that I did it not just once, but TWICE !!!

Only in Canada they say!!

Reflection on the year that has been ...

It was a year ago that Scott called first thing in the morning and said "Mom's coming home ..." I headed off to Stratford and with the help of our Aunt and cousins, Scott and I got home and settled back where she wanted to be ... we got her bed made, laundry taken care of and her meds readied ... She wasn't happy, but she was home ...

Less than two weeks later Scott would again phone first thing in the morning to tell me Mom was gone ... she had slipped away in her sleep that morning ...

Three weeks after that I made a late night drive after being called by one of his friends who said, "We haven't heard from Scottie since Monday ... and the snow at the house isn't shovelled ... something's wrong ..."

Wrong indeed.

In a little over a month I moved from the wonder of having a Christmas at home in Ontario for the first in over 20 years, to the profound sadness of standing in the funeral chapel twice in three weeks to say good bye to my Mother and my only sibling ... in days my family dwindled ...

Looking back, I still struggle to put into words the wash of feelings that continue to ebb and flow through my being ... some days are relatively easy to move through and are punctuated with joy and laughter ... other days drag on with the burdens of memory and sadness ... overarching all of it is a sense of relief that the physical suffering both Mom and Scott endured in recent years has come to an end, and whatever lies beyond this life is a place free of sadness, sorrow and the things that burdened them.

Words can not describe how much I miss them ... I still want to pick up the phone and call Mom to tell her what the kids have been up to, or to ask her a question about something ... and as I clear through the things from the house I wish I could ask her about the history of this item or that one ... and then there are the pictures, the cards, the new paper clippings and the countless other mementoes Mom put aside for a reason ... WHAT REASON??? Many of them are a mystery to me ... and in that moment I want to ask her ...

It's been a hard year ... but it's been a rewarding year in that through my cleaning and sorting of Mom and Scott's stuff, I've learned a lot about both of them and the challenges they faced in their lives ... I've learned how much Mom and Dad loved each other (the notes and cards exchanged by them in their marriage are legion) ... I've learned how hard it was for Mom to get ANYTHING from the OPP and the various levels of Government following Dad's death on duty ... and I've learned how incredibly difficult Scott's battle for adequate compensation was following his truck accident in the early 90's ... admittedly, he didn't help himself at times, but having read through the documentation of his physical injuries I can't help but wonder if he sustained for more injuries to his person than just the aches and pains of his bones and joints ... given the dent I remember seeing in the ROOF of the truck after the accident I think it's a given that he took a debilitating WHACK on the head too ...

As I read through the bits and pieces of their lives, I'm thankful that they were and will continue to be part of my life, I'm thankful that my kids got to know them both better in the six months after our move to Ontario, and I am very thankful that they are no longer burdened by the many hassles and aggravations that were so much a part of the last couple of decades of their lives.

I miss them ... but I take solace that they are at peace ...

This Christmas I approached the season with some hesitation and reluctance ... I knew that it would be a tough time emotionally, but I was looking forward to gathering with my extended family for a good reason. Our Boxing Day gathering, along with the traditional phone calls from those family members in the diaspora, brought a soothing balm to my soul ... I may have lost Mom and Scott, and then in the subsequent weeks Mr Baumbach Indigo and my friend and Mentor Rev. Don ... but I still have a strong circle of family and friends who have blessed me with strength and care through the last few months ...

Looking back, it's been a tough year, but a good year ...

Twenty Comments about God's Love for Goths ...

It will soon be the 6th Anniversary of the fire that destroyed the Building housing the congregation of Minnedosa United Church. A new building has replaced the old, but the congregation has never been allowed to truly heal ...

I marvel at how prophetic the advice received by an American pastor I contacted after reading his book about a Church fire he experienced truly was ... he cautioned that the fire would, if handled poorly, be the least of the problems the congregation and I faced ... hmmm, six years on I look back and see the painful truth in those words - words offered in love and care and faith ... words that the leadership waved aside and ignored.

In 2007, in response to an internet site that claimed God condemns and hate those with Goth leanings, I offered a reflection on what I believe in this regard. This posting (found here) continues to generate responses from people who follow the links from that hate-filled (and unfaithful site) through to my reflection. This past week I discovered the TWENTIETH comment offered. The comment (copied at the bottom of this posting) reminds us that issues of faith are seldom easy, and challenge us to grow past the status quo.

Yearning for things that are comfortable and familiar is not in itself a bad thing, but when we stand in a place of trauma we need to embrace the fragments of the comfortable while being open to the dynamic change that is possible when we experience the transformation faith promises. God calls us to much more than we can imagine ... in Minnedosa six years ago, we were offered the opportunity to cast aside the past and embrace the future ... but anger settled in, and the response within the community was often not that different from the nonsense sputtered by web pages that claim that God hates Goths or anyone else who is different than the writer. In the case of Minnedosa, the hatred was masked with a civil smile and couched in the bureacracy of the Institutional Church ... the end result remains the same - some are acceptable and accepted, while others are rejected and discarded ... In both cases though, God weeps and trusts in the work of the Spirit to continue to transform our world despite the best efforts of humanity to the contrary.

Over and over, I continue to marvel at the truth held in the simple statement: "With God ALL things are possible."

Comments like the one that follows reminds me to trust in God not in human creations like the Church ... thankfully, the Gospel calls us to embrace all, not just a select few. Regretably, this sentiment is too often forgotten in the Church ...

I do not consider myself emo but many if fellow students call me emo. I am a strong Christian. I feel that when many people who claim Christianity don't reach out to the other gothic and emo kids they are not dong there duty to share the love of God. Infact most "Suburban Gangsters" and "normal kids" make fun of me for not listening to Eminem or Lil Wayne. These kids normally cka Christianity. I try to explain that I don't worship Satan, cut myself, or any of that stuff. I just don't like dressing Un neon colors and listening to Hip-Hop. I'm glad that a minister (other than my dad) thinks I'm (not) just going to hell. And GOD BLESS YOU REV.

Bah Humbug ...

Right now I find myself struggling with the Season and all that it represents ... some days I really don't want to get out of bed, and even on my good days I'm not really looking forward to Christmas and all that it brings ...

I am looking forward to having all three kids here, and I am looking forward to gathering with my extended family/clan for something OTHER than a Funeral ... but I enter the Holiday Season acutely feeling the absence of Mom and Scott ... and that colours everything I do, think and feel.

I am feeling particularly Scrooge like ...

What bothers me though is the response I often get to admitting that I am not feeling very Christmasy.

"Oh why not? It's a great time of the year ..." is met with a deep sigh and a struggle to unload the sorrow I feel within.

"But it's Christmas. No one should be sad at Christmas ..." brings forth the urge to say that MANY people, myself included really don't like the Holidays and this year is even more burdensome.

Overarching this I have to wonder why people feel so insistent that the Holidays MUST be joyous and happy ... Even at the best of times I have never really enjoyed Christmas and have struggled to throw on a happy face ... this year at least I can stumble into the Season with those around me knowing and ACCEPTING that it will be a difficult journey for me, and that makes this more bearable.

This year, instead of wishing folks a facetious "Merry Christmas", I for one, will unapologetically be amongst those who stand in the deep darkness and know in time the words of the ancient prophet will come to pass, and we will once again find ourselves bathed in light ...

... and that is perfectly acceptable!

Pondering life behind the snow blower ...

I took another step down the road to being a true blooded Canadian today:

For the first time I cleared snow with a snow blower!! Oh sure, I've cleared snow with a tractor, an atv, a THOUSAND shovels, but this year thanks to the generous gift of a friend, I have a snow blower to clear our driveway !!! And today after the dump of cold, very WET white stuff, I decided it would be a good day to do a trial run to figure out how to work the beast!!

It went well ... it took a little over an hour, but I got the drive way and the back yard parking areas cleared without too much difficulty or stress. AND, I had some fun along the way.

But like other times in my life when I've used power equipment, I had time to think about things as I walked along behind the blower.

Today I was thinking about how incredibly thin skinned people in the Church often are, and how over the top serious they can be ... I was thinking about a tongue in cheek reply I put on the facebook posting of a colleague and friend.

Gord (a fellow blogger) had posted a link that cited the "I am Christian, unless you're gay" an article I cited here previously, and an article I WHOLEHEARTEDLY endorse as an eloquent and wise reflection on the struggle the Church often has when it comes to differences.

My comment on Gord's facebook page was asking (facetiously) if Gord had taken an unexpected and slightly irrational sharp turn to the right ... I know Gord ... I respect God ... and Gord, like me is an unabashed liberal in his theology, and inclusive in his ministry. I was offering a humour comment about the TITLE of the article, not offering a comment about Gord ... or at least that's how I intended it.

In a subsequent comment, another colleague in Ministry replied with a fairly involved statement about the article and its intrinsic value and blah ... blah ... blah ...

I hold no offense toward the other poster. His answer IS right ... but it is also typical of how folks throughout the United Church respond to things.

To be blunt - WE'VE LOST OUR SENSE OF HUMOUR !!!!!

We take EVERYTHING so seriously it is at times truly frightening.

We no longer encourage or even welcome humour in the Courts of the Church. I know of instances when a light hearted comment or a joke was ruled out of order in Presbytery meetings because it was deemed inappropriate.

The bottom line seems to be that we've moved away from spontaneous humour and laughter that it causes us PAIN when it actually happens.

Yet, there is EVERY spiritual indication that laughter is a gift from God, and that not only did Jesus have a sense of humour, his disciples did too. (does anyone else recall the introduction of Jesus to Nathanael in the Gospel of John? How can the comment "can anything good come out of Nazareth?" be taken as anything BUT a humourous quip?!?!?!?!)

Yet in the modern Church we've abandoned our funny bone and become painfully serious just when the world needs the gift of Holy Laughter.

I guess that's why I truly value the contribution of friends like Blake over at The Laughing Pastor, and others who have maintained a sense of humour in the face of a world gone mad.

The ability to stand and smile, and even laugh is truly a gift from God. The incredible feeling of waves of laughter passing over our person is truly Holy. Yet, when I look around the Church I seldom see people who reflect that gift of JOY.

Churches are often filled with dour serious people who look angry and frustrated. Yet we purport to be a place overflowing with Grace and Joy.

Can no one else see that disconnect??

I've marvelled at the number of colleagues I've met along the way who rarely crack a smile and who are pharisaic in their adherence to the rules, regulations and polity of the Church, and overwhelm any expression of joy with frowns and scowls.

I can name people who seem to offer smiles only when their personal egos are being stroked by the suffering of another ... they are almost like Disney villains who smile when they are about to launch their devious plans ...

I can't help but wonder if this is even remotely faithful?

How can we deny joy in the face of a God who has given us SO much, and who pours out blessings, Grace, and an abundance of LIFE???

I for one think there is amazing and profound wisdom in the comment by George Carlin's character Cardinal Glick in the movie Dogma. When Glick introduces the figure of Buddy Christ (pictured above), he says "Jesus didn't come to give us the heebie jeebies". To that ALL I can offer is a hearty AMEN !!!!

Jesus came to offer Love, Compassion, Care, Grace and Life in ABUNDANCE. The heebie jeebies are a human creation, not one from God ... it's time to return to our roots, so too speak, and reclaim the gift of joy and laughter in the Church and celebrate it !!!

If we are truly a child of God frowns and scowls have no place on our faces !!!

It's time to lighten up and truly dance with JOY !!

(Oh, and for the record - I DO have a Buddy Christ in my office, along with the infamous Bobble-headed Jesus AND a Bobble-headed Buddy Christ too !!! It's ALL about the fun!!)

Lessons from Looking Back ...

It's funny (and sad) how many people in the Church fear technology and fail to see the potential it offers. And yet, if we look back in Church history we know that the Protestant Reformation would never have happened had it not been for the technology of the printing press that allowed for the wide spread dissemination of the writings and reflections of the Reformers like Luther and Calvin who forever changed the Church.

I can remember when I started in ministry in Bella Coola BC seeing the potential of the Internet for communication and committee work. I suggested that we use the Ecunet forum that almost ALL of us in the Presbytery were members of, to conduct a committee meeting. To my thinking the confidential bulletin board format of the Ecunet was a perfect means to 'meet' as a committee. The four of us who were members could each sign in from our respective corners and we could have our discussions online, thereby saving THOUSANDS of dollars in travel costs that would be needed to hold face to face meetings.

I was ridiculed and the idea was soundly rejected. The spending of travel money was opted for instead and what could have cost us a few dozen dollars instead cost THOUSANDS and took months longer than needed.

Today most of our Church business is conducted by email. On a local level our Council and Committees do much of their communication via email, and we have had no less than two Council 'meetings' via emails.

When I worked for the Federal Government in Brandon we regularly held online consultations and workshops via a wide range of technologies and gizmos.

And for the last half a decade I've maintained this and other blogs as a means of Church outreach. Today though, as I snapped the picture above with my iPhone, I couldn't help but think about the amazing changes that I've witnessed even in the last five years when it comes to our online communicating.

In the past when I wanted to post a picture here I had to pull out my camera, tether it to the computer via a cumbersome cord, wait for the camera and the computer to start talking, then download the picture to the computer, then upload the picture from the computer to the web page and HOPE everything went according to Hoyle.

Today I point my cell phone camera, snap the picture then with the touch of a couple of buttons I have sent my picture to my computer. The next step is to simply load the picture to the webpage and within minutes I can post a picture of what is happening around me. I know there is a way to do it DIRECTLY from my camera to the blog much like Facebook, but so far I haven't explored the technology ... one day I will though !!

What struck me though, was the amazing possibilities that this technology has for The Church, and yet in many corners people approach this technology with fear and apprehension. The first three years of blogging was met would outright opposition by folks within the Church and even inspired the Presbytery where I served to propose a BAN on Blogs by Church Ministers. The fear was we might make people uncomfortable, or reveal some deeply hidden secret and violate the sanctity of the minister-congregational relationship.

Yet, at a National Level we have staff who are acting as consultants and teachers to show us how to better use the many modern technologies as a means of outreach and evangelism.

The profound disconnect is striking.

On one hand, people get the new technology, and like our forefathers see the potential of sharing the Good News. While on the other hand, others fear change and see in the technology uncontrollable change and want to shut it down ... it makes me realize that today, those of us who have pioneered the use of Blogs, and Social Media as a means of communication within the Church are very much like Luther standing on the steps of Wittenburg nailing his 95 questions to the door of the Cathedral.

Some will and do embrace change, while others fear change. Hopefully, we will have an experience like Luther that sees powerful allies stepping up and holding back the violent backlash that comes when people are scared by something they fail to understand.

Today taking a simple picture of the snow outside my window and choosing to post it here, I realized that my actions are not in and of themselves all that remarkable, but in the context of The Church as it struggles in the opening years of the 21st Century, my actions are part of a greater revolution (or to be theologically appropriate a REFORMATION) that will and is profoundly changing how we function as Church, and how we get the Word out to others.

In 20 years of ministry the Church has made leaps and bounds technologically, and I for one am delighted to be able to say that I have tried to stay current and ride this amazing wave of change as it sweeps through our communities and our world.

The Internet and the many new media formats it offers are not things the Church should fear, but rather they are tools the Church MUST embrace if it is to continue to proclaim and share the Good News!!

Some reading to enrich your heart and soul ...

I've been doing a fair bit of reading articles and postings online lately, and thought it would be worth sharing some of them here ... so here we go:

An elqoquent and powerful statement about living our faith:

I'm Christian, unless you're gay.

A very good and apt commentary about the recent Black Friday happenings:

Pepper Spray Cop Begets Pepper Spray Shoppers.

And of course there is the photoshop versions of the Pepper Spraying Cop:

Pepper Spraying Cop.

And, there is the whole issue of our consumerism running wild:

Will Shopping Save Us?

Now that I've mentioned the Occupy Movement, here's an article about the impact it has had:

How Occupy is Transforming the National Conversation.

And I've saved the BEST for last. Here is a Baptist Pastor's reflection on the role the Church SHOULD be playing in the Occupy Movement. Going straight to the source, he hits the nail smack on the head !!! Thanks to Rev. Bess for this:

Would Jesus Join the Occupy Movement?


Happy Reading !!!

Making a difference in our world ...

After a three year absence from my life, it is BACK !!!

I just got an order off to the Raising the Roof folks to participate in their annual Toque Campaign. This year the toques come in a lovely red and beige, and will be sold here in Flesherton to help support a youth homelessness programme in either Stratford or the Kitchener Waterloo area!!

We will have them available at the Church office, or at our Indoor Market-Bazaar for the affordable price of $10.

I have no doubt that the Toque Campaign will achieve the same startling success as our ongoing sales of Fair Trade products. Along with the Pastoral Charge cookbooks, we have a wide variety of gift items that carry a social conscience and involvement along with their affordable price.

To revisit our 2009 posting (and the various links to Raising the Roof) click here

Scottie

Scott Edwin Ankenmann
November 20th 1961
to
February 3rd 2011
A brother,
an uncle,
a nephew,
a cousin,
a friend,
a pain in the ass (sometimes),
and
one helluva guy.
Love him or hate him,
you never forgot him.

Rest in Peace Scott,
and Happy Birthday wherever you are!!

Miss you bro !!!

The 50th that should have been ...

Happy Birthday Big Brother ... today you would be turning 50, and my plan was to take you out for dinner, a few drinks, and just a helluva good time.

But life is what happens when we're busy making other plans.

As it turned out, you never made it to the big 5-0, and we'll never get to crack that 1947 bottle of Crown Royal to toast Mom and Dad and Mr Baumbach and Uncle Drake, and ALL the beloved people who helped make us into the men we are and were ... one day I'll crack that bottle and raise it in a toast to you and to all you meant to me as my big brother.

To say that I miss you would be an understatement.

There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of you and your damned grin.

And when a tear pools in the corner of my eye I hear you ... I hear your voice saying "Oh my gawd ... 'pfffft' ... just give your head a shake." Then you laugh ...

I miss your laugh.
I miss your teasing.
I miss you ...

So, with a heavy heart I wish you a Happy Birthday any way. You may not be here to enjoy it, but I will remember you.

Peace.

Time ...

I'll admit to watching the Hoarding shows on tv ... I watch them and give thanks that as bad as things are in my life, they are not as bad as what I'm watching ...

I do however understand the strange world that hoarders inhabit a little better now.

My brother and I used to tease Mom that she could be the star of an episode of Hoarders. Her response was to get angry and tell us to 'shut up'. There is unfortunately an element of truth to our teasing, and I honestly believe that Mom would have made Hoarders had it not been for Scott living in the house and keeping things clear in many of the living spaces.

Admittedly, Scott had his own hoarder like tendancies ... the stacks and stacks and stacks of "Old Auto" magazine were the most obvious trait that betrayed his hoarding ... but as I've dug into dressers, closets and other nooks and crannies at Mom's my discoveries have left me laughing and shaking my head - sometimes simultaneously.

How many tea cups, platters and celery vases does one person really need?

Is keeping EVERY note, letter and card really necessary?

And, I don't think you have to keep your financial records forever ...

But in amongst the clutter were (and remain) treasures waiting to be recovered ... I've found toys and books from my childhood, I've lost track of the coins and other money I've found tucked here and there, and I've continued to discover beautiful antiques and collectibles that are often hidden in plain sight ...

As I've sorted and cleaned and decluttered, I've also struggled with the very issues that often come up in episode after episode of Hoarders (and the other related shows).

How do you decide what to keep and what to get rid of?

How do you know what is junk and what might be valuable?

and on and on it goes ... the biggest challenge I encounter though is the waffling back and forth between keeping everything, and just walking away and letting go of everything ... at times it is paralyzing. I understand why people end up being overwhelmed with STUFF after losing a loved one, or having a traumatic event.

Some days I want to hold on to everything, while other days find me wanting to load everything from the house and just dump it ... it would be easier to do nothing then to face the emotional roller coaster of sifting through memories and mementoes of what was, and has been lost ... over and over I find something that takes me back and brings a smile and tears ... it is both inevitable and difficult, and it is what I have to face.

For the moment, even though I joke about it, I have no real desire to be on a future episode of Hoarders ... I will in time make my way through the stuff that has crammed Mom's house, and I will deal with the treasures and the junk.

When I think about it, instead of Hoarders, I'd rather appear on Canadian Pickers ...