Monday, October 27, 2014
Sermon from October 26th 2014 - Choosing Love over Fear ...
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
They rush in where angels may fear to tread ...
My colleague/friend and former class mate Rev. Audrey offered a reflection this morning on her blog 'Am I The Rev in black?" about the recent sacrifices experienced by First Responders in West Texas when a fertilizer plant exploded, and even when we consider the First Responders who were part of the tragic events in Boston ... as I read her words my mind wandered to the Memorials dedicated to Fallen Peace Officers that I have visited - Memorials where I find the name Constable S.E. Ankenmann, etched in the stone or glass ... The fallen First Responder, whether they are Police, Fire or EMT - reminds me of the sacrifice my family made when Dad died on duty with the OPP.
I still remember a 'good' church member in Manitoba telling me after the shooting of four RCMP officers in Alberta, that "you really need to get over it, it was a long time ago that your dad died ..."
It was a long time ago ... but it is something I am reminded of every time I read or hear of another First Responder who dies doing what they are trained and called to do.
The firefighters who died when the fire at the fertilizer plant exploded reminded me ... Audrey's words today reminded me ... watching the footage of the funeral in Boston for a fallen officer reminded me ...
I take solace that despite the every increasing number of names on memorials scattered across the country that acknowledge the sacrifice of the few, there are many officers who put on the uniform and step out the door each day willing to do what they do, and willing to face what ever danger or risk may be inherent in the job.
We can make fun of our police, fire and EMTs, and poke fun at the stereotypes that they often embody - but at the end of the day, we can't escape the simple undeniable FACT, that when there is danger, it is the First Responders who are rushing in while others are running out.
If there is an accident, a bombing, a fire or any other happening that shatters lives, it is the men and women in uniform who are the first one scene, and who try to bring order out of chaos and ensure the safety of all involved - and for that I remain grateful.
My prayer today is that perhaps fewer names will be etched and carved on the memorials as we begin to value not only our first responders, but each other, and we move away from a predilection for violence, and chose instead a desire for respect and peace ...
... maybe one day ... in the meantime, I offer grateful prayers of thanksgiving, and continue to pray for our First Responders and their families ...
Thursday, August 30, 2012
Scenes from my summer ...
Friday, June 29, 2012
Not a day goes by ...
Not a day goes by that doesn't have me wondering what kind of a man my father would have been had he not perished in an On Duty accident while serving with the Ontario Provincial Police 44 years ago this morning.Dad would be 84 this fall ... and I have no doubt he would have been a thoroughly involved and entertaining and supportive grandfather to his grand kids. And I wonder if there would have been more than just my three ... I have always wondered if Scott's life would have taken a very different trajectory than it did, and I'd like to think he would have married, had children and been the wonderful father, and friend that lingered deep within his warm and caring heart ... Scottie would have in time made a rockin' Grandfather too!!
Not a day goes by that doesn't have me wondering what life would have been like had that horrible accident never happened ... I have no doubt many things would have turned out very differently.
Alas, one can not undo the past, and one could easily become caught up in the swirl of the 'woulda, shoulda, coulda's' that leave you living too much in the frets of the past, and not enough in the potential of the present.
Forty Four years ago today, my father OPP Constable #3000 Samuel E. Ankenmann died in an accident just outside of Stratford at the 'Little Lakes curves' while on duty with the OPP.
Forty Four years ago today, we lost a big piece of our family, and I don't think we ever really recovered.
Forty Four years ago today, our life as a family changed, and from what I have learned in the last year and a half since Mom's death, she went through hell just to ensure that Scott and I had some level of support following Dad's death. She had to fight hard for every penny the various levels of Government, the assorted agencies and ultimately the OPP gave us. And at the end of the day it was truly pennies that they gave us.
Our support was limited and meagre. The burden of raising her boys fell entirely on mom's shoulders. There was no golden pension, no support for our post-secondary schooling, and beyond the annual visit from the detachment commander, the invitation to the annual memorial service and a lovely plaque that now sits in my dining room, there was little else offered to mom in the way of support.
The most insulting letter I read in the last year was the letter from the Ontario Government that acknowledges the forwarding of a cheque for a little over $2200 to mom a year after Dad's death. The letter ends with the emphatic statement that the powers that be had determined the enclosed amount was all we were entitled to.
Dad's life was determined to be worth 20 weeks of his salary and not a penny more.
Today I wonder what life might have been like for Scott and I and for Mom, if we were given the kind of support offered to the families of fallen officers who die in the line of duty today.
Today I wonder how differently our lives might have been if Mom had been given support and assistance instead of being forgotten and shuffled aside after Dad's death ... personally, I believe my father's life was worth more than a meagre $2200 ... but 44 years ago today, that's the price they placed on his sacrifice.
Today I wonder ... and I weep for what might have been ...
My DAD, remains a hero in life not death!!
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Four More Names ...

Today in Ottawa they gathered to add four more names to the Memorial to Fallen Police and Peace Officers in Canada ... among the crowd gathered was the young man pictured above - 2 1/2 yr old Nolan Russell, whose father died in the last year serving this country.
I have tried each fall to remember and acknowledge this National Day by beginning our worship services with a prayer for the fallen, and an act of Remembrance ... this year I just plain forgot ... But given the events and happenings over the last few months I think its understandable, and really not a big deal.
Fortunately though, in Ottawa, behind the Parliament Buildings, over looking the river, there was a crowd of people who gathered and who didn't forget. They didn't forget the seven hundred men and women who are acknowledged on the memorial, and regrettably, they added four more names to the Honour Roll.
Today, despite my liturgical oversight, my thoughts and prayers go out to the families of the fallen, and to the little people like young Nolan, who is on a journey I know only too well ... He will know his father through the stories and memories who take time to remember Sgt Russell. There is much he will miss, but today he will know and will be reminded over and over that his father, and others like mine, died as Heroes in Life not death, and that together we are family bound together by a ribbon of acknowledgement, memory and care.
Friday, July 01, 2011
43 Years Ago ...
This week in York Region, family, friends and fellow officers will gather to say farewell to Constable Styles, who died on duty this past week ...I've thought of his children frequently in the last few days ... I know too well the journey they are about to embark upon. Like them, I was too young to know my Father when he fell on duty on June 29th 1968 ... he would be known to me through the stories and recollections of others who shared their memories with me over the years ... I never knew my Dad, but I grew up knowing that I missed him, and that I had missed out on a special man ...
My Dad was, like Constable Styles a hero before the accident that claimed his life, and remained a hero subsequent to his death ...
There is much about Dad I wish I could have known ... I wish I could have heard his laughter, felt his touch, head his voice, shared a beer with him, and enjoyed the many things that gave him joy in his life, beginning with his family ...
Forty Three years ago this week Constable Samuel Ankenmann died while on duty with the OPP, and today for the first time, I am alone in missing him ... I hope the journey ahead is different for the Styles children. I know they will get more support and help than Scott and I ever got - from help to go to school, through to more than an occassional visit from the detachment commanding officer, the children of fallen officers are not forgotten in the same way Scott and I were ... we were simply a statistic after a few years ...
Fortunately this is NOT something that will happen to the Styles children, and for that I am grateful ... losing a father is hard enough, but struggling day after day, year after year with no help and little support tears away at you ... and my brother and I both experienced this in our lives ...
Time heals all wounds ... but sometimes it takes a LONG time to heal ...
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
They are heroes in life not death ...
The news today is filled with the story of a 32 year old Police Officer who was dragged to his death in York Region by a 15 year old driving a mini-van.
The fallen officer leaves a wife and two young children ...
The story hit a nerve ...
It was forty three years ago today that my dad, Constable Sam Ankenmann put on his uniform and left for work. He was working nights.
A family friend has told me that his last memory of Dad was looking through the front window of our living room and spying Dad sleeping in the chair with me nestled on his chest. Rob was playing with Scott on the front porch and shortly after peeking through the window he was called home ... Dad put me in my crib, then headed for work ...
He never came home. Instead in the early morning hours of June 29th 1968, his fellow officer raced to the accident scene, and tried in vain to save his life ... later they would inform Mom and our family ... and 43 years later it still hurts to think about that horrible day ...
Waking this morning to the news that an officer had fallen on duty reminded me that in moments like this we are ALL family, and the fallen are heroes in life, not death.
My thoughts and prayers for the family and comrades of the fallen officer ... they are on a long and lonely journey ... but fortunately, they are not alone!
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Found Treasures ...



On Tuesday, as the television screens across Ontario were full of images of Sgt. Russell's funeral in Toronto, we unearthed an aged yellow envelope amongst my mom's belongings ... Opening the envelope, my brother and I were surprised to discover photos taken at our father's funeral almost 43 years earlier ...
As images of uniformed officers standing to honour a fallen colleague flashed across the tv screen in our kitchen, we looked at black and white images of the uniformed officers standing to honour the fallen colleague we call Dad.
There are no words to adequately describe the feelings that came with the images above, and the others we found ... it is a reminder of a tragedy that forever altered our family, while at the same time it is a glimpse into our history that we have never had before ...
As the family of Sgt. Russell mourned his senseless death, we were reminded of our own journey down a similar road ... that tattered yellow envelope, found in a dresser drawer reminds us all that men like my dad, and Sgt Russell, and the other men and women who have fallen on duty truly are "Heroes in life, not death !!"
Monday, May 17, 2010
Tomorrow ...
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
An amazing gesture of kindness and care in the face of tragedy!!
Preston Family Urges Donations to the Phams (cbc.ca/news)
This morning when I found this story item online I had to smile - it's nice to see that the family of Officer Pham is being offered this quiet and thoughtful gesture on the part of the family of his killer.
Given the current emphasis (which I support) on ensuring that the families of our fallen soldiers are given support for education and so on as they wrestle with thier loss, it is equally important to remember the families of fallen police, peace, and other emergency personell who die on duty too.
Frequently, when the media spotlight passes from the family of the fallen on to other new exciting stories, they are left with lives turned upside down, and little support either financial or emotional. The assumption is that these families will be looked after following the death of thier member, but the reality is too often anything but. A little bit of extra help would have likely made a HUGE difference to my own family.
Today though, there are three young boys who have joined a family of men and women of varying ages who have lost their parents to what is easily dubbed the "ultimate sacrifice" and too often they are simply forgotten.
The Preston family have shown great class in this small gesture, that apparently was a request in the funeral notice for donations to the Pham family ... my hope is that it will help remind our Political leadership, and all of us not to forget those of us who have suffered the loss of a parent through the "ultimate sacrifice" on duty.
There are over 730 names etched on the memorial in Ottawa ... and there are dozens of sons and daughters who have struggled every day of thier lives because of a tragic death ... they deserve to be remembered too.
They are our family ...
Tuesday, March 09, 2010
104 ... A Hero in Life, not death ...

Today, Constable Vu Pham, a 15 year veteran of the Ontario Provincial Police, died of wounds he received while on duty not far from Seaforth Ontario ... born in Vietnam, Constable Pham gave his life in service to the people of Ontario, leaving behind his wife Heather, and thier three sons ...
Constable Pham is the 104th OPP officer to die on duty.
Words can not begin to describe the sorrow I feel in this moment ... as one who knows all too well the pain associated with the loss of a parent serving in the line of duty, my heart grieves for the young men who face life today without their father ... tonight, I offer prayers for the Pham family, Constable Pham's fellow officers, and all those who understand this loss intimately ...
Tonight we are reminded that not only is Constable Pham a hero in life, not in death ... tonight we are all family ...
Rest in Peace Constable Pham ... and may your family find strength, courage and healing in the journey they find themselves on ...
Monday, June 29, 2009
Remembering ...
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
They are Heroes in Life, Not Death ...
Monday, September 29, 2008
TODAY ...
Badge # 3000
September 16th 1928 to June 29th 1968
A Hero in Life, NOT death.
The Canadian Police & Peace Officers' Memorial Entry
Officer Down Memorial Page Entry
For if we fail to remember them,
who will be left to remember but their families,
and we are ALL family.





