It's still hard ...

I have had this picture in my document file for a week or so ... I haven't been able to use it in the Church blog ... It is a powerful image of what we watched over a couple of hours on an early Sunday morning ...

I still find myself coming up short when I'm on Main St here in town ... the vacant lot is hard to see ... I still expect to see the majestic white church that stood there for 105 years ...

105 years ... 5460 weeks ... 38351 days ... How many marriages?? How many baptisms?? How many funerals?? How many socials?? How many showers?? How many concerts?? How many Sunday School classes?? How many Nusery school classes?? How many cubs, guides, scouts and brownie meetings?? How many choir practises?? How many worship services ?? ... The list of losses goes on and on and on ...

There has been over 331 352 640 seconds passed in the building ... 331 million seconds, each one represents a memory held by people who have called the building thier home, physically, socially, and spiritually ... It's a grand legacy ... one that ended in a few short hours on a icy cold February morning ...

Too bad we couldn't have a dollar for each of the seconds and memories that were held in the Old Church Building on Main St ... we could replace her in fine style ...

dayenu,

As the dust settles ... Lent will begin ...

What do you do when your energy level is in the basement, and you still have too much work to do??

I poked around what is left of the Church today - big hunks of shattered concrete, stones, twisted rebar, and clumps of icy dirt ... only the sign remains above ground level - everything else has been cleared away. It has been a long and challenging week for the crew clearing the site - it took a good three days to clear the steps alone ... They were no doubt tired by the time the weekend came ...

Such is the challenge I face today ... I'm tired ... bone weary and exhausted ... yet we are on a journey just begun ...

I know that today I am totally tired because we've had our AGM and our first congregational conversation about where we're going and what we're doing ... We've decided to rebuild. We've empowered our Board to deal with the issues that will arise from this ... and we've begun accepting (officially) donations to the rebuilding fund.

It's exciting times ... but, it is also exhausting times ... I still have an office to set up - boxes crowd out the available floor space, and the second office in our digs is still 1/2 full of boxes, boxes and more boxes ... Hannah and I made head way in my office space yesterday - we got two shelving units up and filled with books, and tomorrow I have plans to eliminate some more boxes of books, and to cart some books to the Rotary book sale too ... But there is much to do ...

In some ways I suppose this is a feeling of being taken for granted - it's been a long and weary-ing two weeks ... the support of the community has been great, and the encouragement we have gotten from beyond our town has been simply extraordinary ... but I'm tired and feeling outta sorts ... It will likely pass with a good night's sleep, but right now I'm feeling crusty and grumpy ...

I'll be like my Grandpa - he had days (and weeks) like that, and he would say - "It's my right to be grumpy ..." and then smile or wink, or wiggle his ears ... I have never been able to wiggle my ears ... but I have more of Grandpa in me then I care to think about ...

So ... we'll see what tomorrow will bring and face it when it comes ... and all the rest - well, that I will leave in God's hands ... cause that's the best place for it ...

dayenu,

In and out of boxes ...

When I came to Minnedosa I brought with me 48 boxes of carefully packed and organized books. In the time since I know I've added to my collection - the shelves in my office groaned under the weight of an ever growing library ...

On Sunday February 12th, when we were allowed into the office to begin packing up, Rev. Joe Ball and I packed up most of my office in less then an hour ... the result was several dozen over full cardboard boxes, and my library in no particular order ...

Today I set about to change that ... I began unpacking some of the boxes and setting up a working library to help me in my service prep ... It has been a good process. I have been able to reaquaint myself with some of the gems in my collection, but it has been a hard process in that I am beginning to realize the totality of the affect the fire has had on things as mundane and very day as my books ...

We move forward ... one step at a time ... There are many challenges (like not enough bookshelves) and there will be many more ... but with the cards and letters that are pouring in and the many emails we've recieved here in Minnedosa we know that we have the prayerful support of many people across Canada and even around the world ...

It's a humbling experience to be walking this journey ... I have been saying - I wouldn't wish this on anyone, but I also wouldn't miss it for the world ...

Over and over I have come to realize that the words we speak so easily in worship as part of our creed in the UCC, those that say - "We are NOT alone ..." are not easy to live, but in moments like this we can be thankful that they are true ...

We are not alone ... God is with us ... and God's children are with us too ...

dayenu,

Finding our way from smoke blackened ruins ...

I'm tired, I'm weary, but I'm feeling profoundly blessed and thankful ...
Blessed because none of the firefighters in Minnedosa's volunteer department were hurt in our recent fire that claimed our 105 year old sanctuary ... thankful to be in this place, with the people I have been honoured to minister among ...

It has been a hard week. My body aches ... my fingers are chapped and cracked and bleeding ... my lips are chapped ... and my heart is broken ...

In April 2000, when I came for an interview in Minnedosa I stepped into the sanctuary and I remember the feeling that washed over me. It felt good and it felt right and later when they offered me the call to come and minister with them, I was 99% sure I would accept ... I'm glad I did.

There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about that day and the conversation that began the relationship that on Sunday was called on to endure and suffer its greatest challenge.

The day began at 6 am when I was called and told our Church was on fire ... since then, life has been a blur ... we worshipped in the basement of the Catholic Church on Sunday morning ... we set up our office the next day ... we have wept and raged and run the whole gamut of emotion. The whole while, a dear friend lies as nothing more then a smouldering ruin on the main st of our town ...

It is sad and it is tragic. The age of the building does not tell the whole story. It was a 105 year old building in age only. It had been renovated, added to, and was dearly loved and is in constant use by the people who are the Church, and the community around us.

How many children have passed through it's doors on the way to nursery school??
How many musical events have happened in its hall and its sanctuary?
How many weddings, baptisms and funerals have marked the passage of time in our town??
How many community socials, showers and gatherings have been hosted in its walls??
How many cups of tea and coffee have been passed around in times of distress and celebration??

I could go on and on ... but for now I have to walk through its familiar comfortable rooms in my mind's eye, because a senseless act of stupidity and foolishness has robbed not only me, but the community I call home, or a dear old friend ...

My body is sore, my soul is troubled, but today I can honestly say that "we are not alone." Today our community has been offered the love and care and support of our Presbytery, and as I look over my inbox here and at the office, I can say that messages have come from around the world ...

What better proof of the resurrection can there be then that???
When one part of the body grieves, we all grieve ... and today in Minnedosa we grieve, but tomorrow (whenever that comes) we will rise up and mark our steps on the way to the resurrection ...

The message of Easter is alive and well in Minnedosa today - we're walking it as a community ...

Gold Medals and a Hockey Blow out ...

Good day in Torino ...

One gold medal and a 16 to ZIP blow out in Hockey.

It bounced the Gretzky's off the front page (so too speak) - and that's a good thing ...

My only beef with the Olympics is the emphasis on medals placements. Why can't we celebrate the guy or gal who comes in 13th !!! They are 13th in the World for crying out loud !!! Let's celebrate ALL our athletes and give them a pat on the back for the hard work and dedication they've shown to be among the very best in their sport.

I'm proud on anyone who has earned a trip to the Olympics, medal or not.

Look at the teams with one or two athletes that marched into the stadium yesterday - their smiles said it all.

The lesson of the Jamaican Bob Sledding team was simply the competition, not the medal. That's the Olympic Spirit we need to emphasis ...

dayenu,

Gretzky and Gambling ...

Why are we surprised?? Why are we overreacting??

We live in a culture addicted to gambling - VLTs, Lotteries, Casinos, Bingos and so on ... and we're being frothed into a frenzy because the First Family of Hockey may be involved in an illegal gambling scheme.

What's the real issue here?? Maybe Mrs Gretzky has an addicition to gambling - afterall, she's spent most of her life living in the Hedonistic, fake world created by Hollywood, Heffner and so on. So, if she's developed a gambling addicition (one her husband's earning power can afford) and Wayne has chosen not to speak of it - so what ??? It's a personal family affair.

OR, if Wayne himself is gambling so what ??? Maybe he buys lottery tickets too!! Maybe he likes hanging out at Bingo halls trying to win the ghetto blaster or the TV!! Maybe he plays the VLTs when he's up in Canada between games ...

What's the real issue here ???

The issue is the myopic view of the world put forth by the media.

The media celebrates drinking then cries foul when someone like Mickey Mantle is devoured by his addiction.

The media promote gambling, then screams foul when a prominent person is caught doing it ...

The media create celebrities, put every action under a microscope, then chortle with delight when they crack and do something stupid ...

Maybe the problem - the issue here - has nothing to do with the Gretzky family at all. Maybe the issue here is the need for all of us to look deeply into the mirror that Wayne and Janet are holding up before us. A mirror that asks each of us, if we really are faultless ourselves.

Okay, time for a confession: I buy the occasional lottery ticket with grandiose dreams of maybe winning enough to pay off some debts ... I have played a VLT once some time ago to know what they're like ... and I've even played BINGO in the past ... Guess, I'm a horrible person ... I guess I have sinned and fallen short of the Glory of God - like almost everyone else.

Oh wait, in today's paper there are a number of ads for trips to Casinos all over North America, on the TV this afternoon will be a bunch of ads urging me to buy a ticket (or twenty) as a way of gaining financial freedom, and if I step into the local hotel I will hear the mesmerizing jingle of the VLTs that are helping to finance our province ... Gambling is common place, why should we be surprised by the "revelations" being put forth by the press right now ...

Let's give the Gretzky's a break and focus on real news items like poverty, hunger and trade inequities. So, Janet may have put a 6 digit bet on the super bowl - aside from the issue that she could likely afford it, and it wasn't taking food from her children - she is not unique. How many other bets, legal or otherwise were placed that day?? Where are the headlines for that??

The issue here is more the lifestyle promoted in our media that pushed people to want the quick easy wealth gambling seems to promise. Maybe we should focus on the illusion that lifestyle represents rather then trying to bring down a hero who has done more for sports in Canada then almost anyone else. Kids my son's age still want to be like Gretzky as they tool around playing shinny - that's the Gretzky we should be remembering and celebrating, rather then trying to bring him down.

I've never been a big fan of Wayne's, but today I'm willing to say he is still "The Great One." Let's focus on things that really matter and let's leave Janet and Wayne alone.

The real crime here is the media taking advertisements promoting gambling as a lifestyle, then criticising people who have fallen into that delusion ... the media can't have it both ways ...

At the very least, the Gretzky's are owed an apology ...

dayenu,

A text ... a bird ... a name ... encounters of the spirit.

Memories of eagles ...

This week's lectionary reading ends with the refrain - "shall rise up on wings of eagles ..." Yesterday at Bible Study we ended up in a discussion about why the eagle was the imagery chosen by Isaiah for this particularly text.

It began with the question - "would another bird be as effective?"

We agreed it would not - but then I reflected back on the times when an eagle's presence brought added meaning to a moment in my ministry ... I'd like to share some:

Burials in the First Nations' Community of Bella Coola ALWAYS had an eagle circling overhead, above the cemetary - the elders regarded it as a good sign.

When our son Sam (now aged 11) was baptised in a ceremony by the River one summer's day, an eagle flew back and forth over the icy green waters. It was said by the Elder Daisy Moody, when she stood to give Sam his Indian Name (Noahkila - a creator being name held by her husband and passed down through his family), that the eagle's presence that day was important - a good spirit.

On our last day in Bella Coola, with the moving van backed up to the door of the manse and almost fully loaded, a majestic bald eagle landed in the front yard of the manse not three metres from Noahkila, and with a loud cry, launched himself into the air. I was told later that it was a very, very good sign - the eagle came to say farewell (for now) to Noahkila, a name that special connection to eagle and merganser ducks.

Since then, almost every time Sam (Noahkila) has walked into the range of sight of an eagle in zoos across the country, the eagles turn and look at him and call out. Again, an elder from Bella Coola has said this is a very good sign ...

And one last memory ... one day following a tragic death in Bella Coola, I went into the home where the death had occured with the family, and as we walked out the front door an eagle landed in the spruce tree, not 2 metres from where we stood. He gazed at the mother of the deceased and called out ... she smiled and greeted him in Nuxalkmc and said - "he (the deceased) is here, he came to say he's okay ..."

Isaiah's words ... a majestic bird ... a profound moment of spiritual meaning ... thanks be to God.

The real costs ...

Today I drove past the "new" W-l-Mart on the Northside of Brandon and was horrified and dismayed by the number of cars sitting in the parking lot ... Pathetic, was the only word that could rise to my mind.

On the Prairies today, our farm families are struggling to survive ... in Ontario over the last two weeks close to 3500 industrial jobs have just vanished ... across the praries more local elevators have closed and fallen ... and over and over and over, I hear stories of people from our area here in west-man who are working in the Alberta oil patch just to make ends meet ...

Are we so blind that we can't see that the "cheap" stuff (shit is more like it ... sorry to those who this may offend - but it IS true) has a cost that must be borne somewhere.

That cheap loaf of bread you buy today at the supermarket means that the farmer gets next to nothing for his/her input ... actually, in today's market, the farmer doesn't get next to nothing, he ends up owing more then he get paid for the wheat, so he ends up owing MORE then nothing.

Can we not see?? Can we not hear?? Can we not act??

There is NO SUCH THING AS A CHEAP LUNCH????????

There is a cost to be paid somewhere. We may get a "bargain" - but we must ask ourselves - "at WHOSE expense???" It won't be the shareholders of the multinationals - they need to get their fair share. But the cost could be paid by the workers for the company ... or perhaps it will be the workers in the factory that once stood down the street, but today is operating in mainland china ... or it could be the people who live down stream from THAT new factory, and are overwhelmed with pollution ... or it might be the producers who get pennies for their hard hours of labour ... or it might be the permenant underclass who are forever being ground under the heels of a global market that doesn't give a damn ...

SO tomorrow, and next week and next month when you stand in the aisle with your latest "BARGAIN" in hand, think about what the real cost of the item is and ask yourself the simple question - "am I paying the real cost of this, or is someone else going to have to pay, perhaps with their health, their security, or even their lives????"

If we dared to ask those question a little more often, maybe things would start to change ...

One can always hope ...
dayenu ... dayenu ...

Do we really make a difference??

I've been sitting on the couch ... okay, I've been lying on the couch the last couple of days - laid low by a cold or some sort of bug ... and I've been reflecting on what it is that we keep ourselves busy with ...

We scurry around - filling our lives with activity and busy-ness. But do we accomplish anything??

The church I serve, has a food cupboard to offer help to people in need, but often we struggle with the "what to do" around abuses that we witness ...

The greater Church in which I hang my hat (so too speak) has all kind of programmes and ministries to care for the marginalized and the overlooked, but I wonder if it really makes any difference ...

I found a great note on the blog of a friend that said that while most of us have been busy debating and arguing over things like same-sex marriage and wishing one another a Merry CHRISTmas, groups like Sojourners' have been busy demonstrating on behalf of the poor in the US. That comment disturbed me, not because I disagree with it - but because he hit the nail on the head.

Too often we are busy arguing and debating stuff that really doesn't matter ... Kind of a modern Nero fiddling while Rome burns ...

Where I sit today I see around me deep concern for the rural farms and the way of life family farms represent - yet, there seems to be nothing that we can do to change the "way things are" and help the farmers being ground up by the market forces of the global economy ...

Why does the Church not get this?? Why can't we begin to look beyond our petty squabbles, and start bringing the change to the world we so desperately yearn for ???

I'm feeling very cynical today ... I don't know if we can really make a difference, but my conscience and my family and my faith (not necessarily in that order) won't let me give up the fight yet ... I want to spend more of my time focused on the issues that make a difference, and less time arguing over theological differences ...

I want to make a difference - even if it is a little difference ...
May God guide me on this path ... and May God guide others to join me ...

Dayenu,