Mementos ... a reminder of what is really important ...

I'm becoming increasingly cynical about our culture and society lately ... As I drive to and from the larger urban centres I can't help but wonder (bordering on a rant) why we (speaking collectively) keep building such MASSIVE houses.

I honestly wonder what the appeal of having a 4000+ sqr ft home really is ... I can barely keep up keeping my little 1900 sqr foot house clean ... twice the space makes me wonder what these people do to have that kind of time ... or income to hire cleaning services ...

Really though ... when will the realization be made that ALL of this consumerism is a dead end street move beyond the Occupy Movement and the few voices that stand on the margins lamenting what we as a society and culture have lost?? When will people wake up to realize that shopping will never ease the ache within, and bigger and better just means running on a treadmill that has no end ... as I ponder this I can't help but picture George Jetson on the treadmill that he and Astro hop on at the end of the Jetson's ... once you buy into the consumerist model of "shop, shop, shop" you can't hop off until it destroys you. And the rise of shows about consumers overwhelmed by debt and spending combined with the economic meltdown in our Southern Neighbour a few short months ago, would suggest that destruction is already being felt ...

This Holiday Season, what I've come to appreciate is the value of the intangible things in our lives ... our family ... our relationships ... and the connectedness to things that money can not buy.

The picture above is the inscription in a tiny black leather bound Bible that I found amongst the detritus and mementos from my Grandparents' house that my Aunt had put out on Boxing Day for the family to choose from ... for the last few years the various items had been stored in boxes in a basement, and my Aunt and her family decided the time had come to clean some of the stuff out and let us chose our mementos and tokens to remember Grandma, Grandpa and Uncle Drake ...

Oh what a trip down memory lane it was ... pictures and wall hangings invoked recollections about where in the house they once stood ... glasses and mugs called to mind family gatherings and favourite beverages (one set of glasses had me laughing at the recollection of Uncle Drake enjoying his 'garden cocktail and rum' at Work Day, or Christmas, or Thanksgiving ...) ... and over and over the comment was made - "I remember this ..." and a story would follow.

For a brief shimmering moment, Grandma and Grandpa were there ... smiling and joining in the fun as we were once again at HOME at 58 Austin Drive, even if we were still very much standing in a basement in New Hamburg !!

Such are the power of our memories and the mementos that connect that thread of thought and recollection that we might so easily overlook in our busy consumerist lifestyle ...

What I've come to realize lately, is that one can be overwhelmed with stuff, and need to build bigger shelves, larger rooms, and even rent locker facilities to tuck it ALL away ... but in the process, you lose touch with what it is, and you no longer are able to use nor appreciate it. The extreme of this collecting is the folks we see on the Hoarder shows who are utterly and totally overwhelmed by their "STUFF" and no longer can function ...

Alas, our culture though has become oriented to this acquisition cycle that sees people shopping and collecting and amassing huge amounts of stuff ... the newest and the best ... the biggest and the brightest ... over and over we measure the value of our existence, not by the relationships we have and value, but by the standards of how much, how big, how many and how valuable our STUFF is ...

Fortunately, there runs underneath all of this a current calling on us to simplify our lives and to declutter our world. We don't need to have the biggest house, the fastest car, the most up to date tv or computer ... instead we can and should find our contentment with a simple word: ENOUGH.

Having a warm comfortable bed is enough.
Having food to eat and share is enough.
Having a safe place to sit and enjoy the circle of family and friends is enough.
Having adequate clothing that is comfortable and clean is enough.

Over and over the self-help gurus are challenging us to realize a simple truth that is ALL around us if we simply dare to look.

We don't have to opt into the rat race of buying, shopping and collecting ... instead we can opt out and look back at the simpler times when having enough was a the ULTIMATE goal.

My Grandparents' home was never huge. But it was always comfortable.
Grandma and Grandpa always had enough to look after all of us and any visitors who came along, but they also lived very simply. There was little extravagance in their lives or in their home, but there was ALWAYS quality. Quality in the food consumed, in the furniture and household goods used, and in the clothing worn. But they never flaunted, nor did they live to excess ... they epitomized the very word ENOUGH.

There is a lesson there ... one that we've lost as a culture.

We've come to think that it is the normative way of living, to have a lifestyle that EXCEEDS that of our parents. Maybe, the lesson is to seek a lifestyle that matches that of our parents and grandparents.

My grandparents lived well ... they owned a car, but often walked ... they owned a single tv, but usually spent time reading ... they owned a single black phone hanging on the wall, but usually communicated by face to face visits and hand written letters ... they owned a house with lots of space, but never filled with with clutter and stored items ... they owned a yard and had gardens producing flowers, vegetables, and fruit that was used to pass on joy and delight to others ...

My Grandparents valued the good things in life ... but never let those things supersede their family and the wonderful relationships that were nurtured over time between us ... and maybe that's the greatest lesson they have left for us: that we should and must value each other more than any of the mementos, items and things that clutter our lives with stuff.

When I look at some of the things I've gained from mom's house, and from that of my grandparents' what I see is not their momentary value, but rather the memories that lie behind it ... the Irish coins from Grandpa remind me of his War stories about the places he'd been and the sights he'd seen ... the old green fountain pen of Grandma's reminds me of the letters she wrote and the hours spent poking through her brown writing desk in the corner of the living room ... and the celery vases and other items from Mom's remind me of how Mom loved to buy beautiful things to pass on to others in the hopes they would share her appreciation of them ... but over and over, I realize that ALL of these things are just stuff. The value is within me, in the stories and memories and recollections that come to mind when I see and touch those items ...

In 50 or 100 years, the true value of the stuff will be gone when no one is left to tell the stories. The stories, crafted from memories and recollections of what was, are what are truly important, and these stories will never be held within massive houses, or distant storage lockers, and these stories will never be found in a shopping mall, or at the big block store's latest sales. Instead these stories are found when we nurture and refresh the bonds of relationships that exist within and between us as family and friends.

One day, I truly hope our society and our culture will finally realize the foolishness of our consumerist ways, and take a step back physically, economically, spiritually and emotionally ...