I got an email this morning that brought tears to my eyes ... not only that, but the email reminded me of how much loss has been experienced in the last few months here in Minnedosa and elsewhere ...
Today I was told by The Rev. Nancy Wetselaar that on June 18th the Congregation of Centennial United Church in Stratford voted to disband itself ... Above is a picture of Centennial's glorious sanctuary, that I took last year when I was out in Ontario ...
Today though I realize that the losses are continuing to mount ...
First I watched a place I had come to love over the last six years disappear to an arsonist's fire ... and now I hear that my year end my home congregation, the place I learned to celebrate my faith, the place I could always go home to and be welcomed in, the place I grew to adulthood, the place filled with memories ... MY touchstone, my tether, the anchor on which my history and heritage are tied ... that special place on Strachan St will be no more ...
The building may remain (I hope it does) ... it will find other uses ... but the people who are the Church of Centennial United will disperse and take with them a vast repetoire of memories and moments lived in that glorious old building ...
Today I grieve again the loss of our building here in Minnedosa ... In amongst the enormous upswell of pain and sorrow at the loss, my grief pales in comparison to that of people who have called this place home for years ... but today I weep for the loss of two sacred spaces that I have loved and delighted in presiding at worship in ...
Both sanctuaries were comfortable and warm ... both had marvelous acoustics ... both were semi-circles with wide wooden pews ... both were places that held many marvelous memories of over 100 years of life and worship ... One is gone ... and one is going ...
I can close my eyes tonight and walk through the building that stood on Main St here in Minnedosa ... I can again open the cupboards down stairs, and climb the various stair cases, and stand and marvel at the beauty of the sanctuary ...
I can close my eyes tonight and see the Saints of my Childhood moving and living again in the various spaces that are part of the building Centennial United calls home ... in my mind I can see the patient grey haired men and women who could laugh at our antics, while shaking thier heads with caring understanding when we'd gone too far ... they were our mentors, our friends, and our inspiration ... they chided us once in awhile, but more then that they welcomed us into the whole people of God with care and understanding and openness ...
In 2000, when I walked into the sanctuary of Minnedosa United, I felt like I had stepped back into the beautiful sanctuary of Centennial ... with the high arched ceiling ... the semi circle format ... the sun pouring in through the stained glass windows ... there was much that carried me back to that place that has always been home ... In my time since, I've come to love every nook and cranny of the old building on Main St ... I became a 12 year old boy again - exploring, finding endlessly fascinating places and mementoes and treasures in the cupboards and closets and storage rooms ... When I moved through the building I felt like a little kids again ... and once again I was in a safe place, a place filled with memories and moments and a Holy Presence ...
When the building burned down on February 12th I lost the place I played at being minister ... but more then that I lost my sanctuary ... both that up stairs and that which I had over five years crafted for myself amid the clutter ...
My fear that cold bitter morning as I watched the flames consume the building wasn't so much for my stuff that sat in my office ... but it was for the sanctuary that space represented ... In my cluttered office were the mementoes and treasures of a life time ... the inventory of moments is vast ... I have books I borrowed from Centennial and somehow forgot to give back ... I have my treasures from my time in Bella Coola ... I have gifts and tokens given to me by friends and people who's lives I've touched ... I have books and photos and letters and cards that mark my journey from my childhood at Centennial through to my adulthood in the 21st Century ...
My professional life is crammed in a 10 by 10 space ... everything I've ever written, or spoken ... every treasure given to me as minister ... every scrap of paper given to me by sunday school kids ... my collection of books and articles ... my treasures and mementoes ... things that may not be important to someone else, but that are important to me are crammed into my office space ... my sanctuary.
And on that cold February morning I watched with horror as I watched not only what the Congregation and Community was about to lose, but what I was in danger of losing too ... My life is in my office ... and my office is the repository of my life ... and for a very long time that morning it didn't seem likely that it would be spared ... many things could be replaced and reacquired, but so much more - the little things would have been gone forever ... The pain in that moment was immense for me as a person, as a minister and as a member of this community ... This was not something that could be just shaken off ... the hurt cut deep ...
I know I was lucky... I feel very blessed that I was able to salvage my office in its entirety, and that the Congregation had it's many records and registries spared ... We lost so much - but there was much that was spared ...
But, today all that grief came back to me ... On February 12th, like many here in Minnedosa, I lost my touchstone ... then this morning I hear that my remaining touchstone is going to go ... it savagely reopened the hurt and the sorrow I felt when Minnedosa United burned ... we have lost so much ... and today I learned that the losses keep mounting ...
Tonight my only thought is the lament - "by the waters of Babylon, we wept ..."
Tonight I grieve the loss of two friends ... one is nothing more then a memory, and the other is a place filled with memories - but has no future ...
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