To visit Adam's contributions to this conversation visit his blog by clicking here: http://adamkilner.blogspot.com/Adam:
I apologize for being late in my reply, but summer has finally arrived in Manitoba with beautiful warm temps and sunny skies ... after I fixed my couch in the living room, it was time to enjoy being outdoors ... but rest assured, as I wandered around in the sunshine, I thought about our conversations.
One thing that became apparent to me is the definite lack of comment from any of the folks who are reading what we have to say. We are getting HUNDREDS of readers each day, yet we've had less than a handful of comments, and some of them have been cautiously critical. Not that this surprises me, but it does disappoint me. A topic as pertinent as living our faith through an Apocalyptic Welcome should generate some conversation somewhere ... but even on Facebook we've had little response to our postings ...
No matter, the conversation will continue, because I believe the lack of comment and the content of the few comments we've received is indicative of the state of the Church.
What we are doing here is holding up a mirror before the Church and inviting the Church writ large to gaze into it and reflect on what they see there ... sadly many people don't want to reflect on what they see - they prefer to have their mirror LIE to them much like the wicked step mother/ Queen in Snow White who couldn't handle the truth when she was told it ...
I am mindful of a friend who worked with alcoholics and recovering alcoholic who once quipped that when you are on a healing journey and in a good place you can look in the mirror in the morning and say - "I'm okay ..."
But when you are not on a healing journey and you are not in a good place you can't look in that mirror and meet your own gaze, so instead of saying "I'm okay," he noted that the alcoholic will change one letter and instead say - "It's OKAY ..."
There's a HUGE difference between "I'm okay ..." and "It's okay ..."
The Church today has gotten very good at saying - "it's okay ..." but what it is called to by faith is having the courage and boldness and HEALTH to say "I'm okay !!"
Asking someone to make changes to fit in, is a place of "it's okay ..."
Welcoming the diversity of the human family and having a place for EVERYONE without condition, reservation or hesitation is a place of "I'm okay ..."
Seeing the 2.2 million UCC'ers who stand outside the Church today and doing absolutely NOTHING to hear their stories and address their hurts is a place of "It's okay ..."
Embracing the MAJORITY (that 2.2 MILLION UCC'ers) who stand outside and welcoming them in by HEARING their stories, HONOURING their stories, and EMBRACING them as members of the body is a place of "I'm okay ..."
Being able to say "I'm okay ..." individually or corporately is about wrestling with our own insecurities and doubts and finding a place to stand that doesn't hinge on fear.
Fear runs rampant in our Churches.
Historically it was fear that kept our churches in line. Clergy used the fear of hellfire and eternal damnation to keep people under their thumbs. Today fear has become more subtle, but no less real.
We fear difference ... difference in language, difference in sexuality, difference in music, difference in skin colour, difference in dress, difference in sexuality, difference in social status, difference in intelligence ...
We may speak eloquent words of inclusivity and welcome and openness, but when the mirror is held up before us and we are asked to honestly answer "are you really inclusive, welcoming and open?" The response is never a "NO" ... instead the answer is a subtle turn of the tail that shifts the blame to the person asking the question ... the person or moment asking the question is attacked ...
If a Gay person stands up and says - "the United Church has work to do on welcoming Gays and Lesbians," the chorus of denial is deafening ... I've heard Conference Meetings where this has happened ... In a place where "I'm okay..." is lived, the reply would be - "yes, you're right ... your experience is REAL, and needs to be honoured ..." and efforts would be made to improve what is happening ...
But instead, the Church will sigh and say - "well, we're doing the best that we can ..."
It's a place of "It's okay ..."
The move from "It's okay ..." to "I'm okay ..." demands critical self reflection ... in 12 Step terms it is the 10 steps that lie between admitting to our powerlessness, and telling the world about it. Unfortunately, my friend who observed astutely the difference one little letter can make, also observed that many alcoholics become very good at doing the 12 Step 2 Step ...
They admit to their powerlessness over alcohol and skip the other 10 steps focusing on telling the world about it ... without the critical self reflection of the 10 steps that lie in between the first and the twelfth, the message being conveyed is utterly useless ...
The Church has in its on way become quite adept at dancing the 12 Step 2 Step ... we demand of our candidate in Ministry critical self-reflection, but we never demand it of others in the Church ... when was the LAST time a Board Chair was called to task for their behaviour?? If we are to stand in a place of "I'm okay ..." the clergy and the lay should be treated equally in this regard ... BOTH are equally members of the Body, and BOTH must be held to the SAME standards ...
But to suggest this in an Institution that is firmly embedded in "It's okay ..." thinking, means the reaction will be swift and will actively deny the need for such equality or fairness ... Instead a sigh is offered and the excuses begin ...
Faith is NOT about excuses ... remember what Jesus said to the young man who wanted to go back and say good bye to his family??
"Once you put your hand to the plough, you can't look back ..."
Jesus understood the necessity of letting go and with critical self-reflection, finding our way to a place where we can say, mean and LIVE the idea - "I'm okay ..."
It ALL starts with a mirror ... let's look into it and honestly, frankly and openly assess what we see reflected there ... we have no alternative in living our faith ...
1 comment:
Shawn,
I think what you are doing here is intriguing, thought-provoking, challenging and no doubt fiercly scary to those who don't want to face it or hear it. The situation remains as you describe it. Too many people have given up hope, but with persons such as yourself continuing the fight and plea, I believe one day, we will see change.
Post a Comment