and the memories flow ...

It started yesterday when my mom told me something had happened ... but even she didn't know what it was ... we both promised to call if we learned something ...

Today news came ... my cell rang and I heard a voice I hadn't spoken with in almost 20 years ... she filled me in on what was enveloping her family ...

I wept ... I offered my condolances ... I offered my prayers ... I choked back the tears as I said good bye ...

I closed my cell and cried bitter tears of anger ...

It shouldn't have happened ... it didn't need to happen ... but it did, and none of us could change it ... and it was profoundly sad, and overwhelmingly tragic ...

... and then in my tears came the memories ... dripping like the tears falling on my cheeks ... one by one they fell into mind, leaving me smiling amid the sadness ... laughing in spite of the anger ... chuckling as I remembered and relived the moments ...

He had a way of saying - "Jesus Christ," that left you laughing ... and he'd lift his chin and smile as he said - "What?" to your response ...

Constantly in motion, he wore a cheeky grin no matter what was happening ...

We'd worked together, played together, drank together, and formed a bond of friendship that for a time was more like brothers, then neighbour, co-worker or friend ... we had our moments ... times when we raged at each other in bitter anger, threw temper tantrums and objects ... but in time, like all good storms, the tempest would pass and in the calm aftermath we would rekindle the friendship and forget the past ...

I remember the jokes ... the laughter ... listening to music ... celebrating small achievements, and shaking our heads in bewliderment at life's set backs ...

There were days we didn't like each other much ... and days we were inseperable ...

He was chased by his demons, and too often took to the bottle to numb the pain he wouldn't speak of ... but even then, with only a few notable exceptions, his disposition remained sunny and cheery, and he was always one to laugh, even when dark clouds closed in and life took a turn ...

He was many things ... but most of all he was a friend ...

And learning of his untimely death brought a rush of emotions and memories back to me ... and over it all I could hear his voice and see his face ... a crooked, cheeky grin, a ball cap perched on his thinning hair, he glanced to his right, then his left and raised his chin as he said - "Jeeesssus Christ, can you believe it ??"

And my answer, with tears in my eyes is simply - NO I CAN'T.

Rest in Peace my friend ... and may God bless you, as you have blessed those of us lucky enough to know you ... I love Purse like a brother ... and I for one will not only never forget you, I will miss you ...