Thursday, December 31, 2009

One year ends ... another begins ...

The year and the decade draw to a close, and it's time for resolutions and setting goals for the journey ahead ... people will promise to watch what they eat, exercise more, eat less, lose weight, volunteer more often ... and so on ...

For me my resolutions are more humble and grounded ... I resolve for 2010, to get up and face each day and keep moving forward ... I put 2009 behind me, along with the pain and trauma that has been the last decade of my life ... while I hold to the good bits that have remained with me, I resolve to leave behind the hurt and loss that has marked much of the journey from the beginning of the new millenium ...

In the coming year I want to find full time employment and no longer have to worry about having enough part time gigs to keep a roof over my head and food on my table.

In the coming year I will give back to Samaritan House the kindness and care they have shown me and my family as we've struggled to make ends meet ... the treat of day old bread and out of date sugary treats has meant much, as has having a place to go and vent and be loved while laughing and savouring life with those who know what it's like to stand on the margins ...

In the coming year I will not over look my circle of friends, and the astounding, beautiful people I have been blessed with ...

In the coming year I will continue to write for the publications who have supported me in following that dream, and I will put to paper the stories that have for too long rolled around inside of me waiting to be shared ...

In the coming year I will finally finish my Thesis and move out of my living room the enormous pile of articles and books that has swamped my coffee table and desk for too long ...

In the coming year I will intentionally build and dream of a future that is bright and that will take from the safety of my little compartmentalized boxes to a place where anything is possible, and where laughter and companionship are very real and very present ...

In the coming year I will pause to give thanks for the moment and the people who are in it, and like an old friend said over and over - I'll learn to live, love and laugh now instead of when I grow old ...

In the coming year, I will continue in ministry, both here and in whatever places are opened to me by the Spirit ... The Gospel is waiting to be shared, and the hunger for something more than the status quo is real and if the Institution that is the Church is too busy trying to defend and preserve itself it is up to the prophetic voices called by God to carry that message forward and to be the agent of change needed in our world ... it may be in the United Church ... it may not ... I don't know for sure right now ... but I DO KNOW I have been CALLED to ministry, and I will continue to respond to that call wherever I may be ...

In the coming year, I will look after myself better and lower my blood pressure and lose the weight that I've packed on AND by this time next year be in a better place physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually ...

In the coming year, I will remember to tell those who important to me that I love them, and I appreciate their presence in my life, even when I'm having a hissy fit or as Ms. H. may say - "taking a spazz" ...

I'm very fortunate and blessed. Despite the losses I've experienced in the last few years, I've gained so much more ... In the coming year I will endeavour to live my life accordingly ...

So with my thanks to my circle of family that includes Noahkila, Ms. H, Beetle and thier mother M, and that has expanded to include the lovely L and her boy Halo-warrior I say "thank you and God Bless as the old year ends and the New Year begins ..."

Cheers for 2010 !!!

Today perhaps the light at the tunnel really ISN'T an approaching train ... time will tell !!

1 comment:

indigo said...

"I resolve to leave behind the hurt and loss that has marked much of the journey from the beginning of the new millenium ..."

Conga Rats!! that is awesome to hear. Glad you made it through.