Scenes from along the way ...

Tonight after a trip to Toronto Airport followed by an excursion along some of Ontario's 400 series highways, I've had the chance to sit and simply be ... with Thanksgiving looming on the horizon it is a good time to sit and consider the blessings and bounty that have come my way of late ...

Tonight, I also had the chance to finally view the interview between myself and Rev. David Shearman on his cable show 'Faith Works' out of Owen Sound ... I had heard about the interview from a dozen or so people who had watched it, but hadn't seen it myself ...

Last week one day there was a knock at the door and I was greeted by an older couple who introduced themselves ... he had been the Commanding Officer at the detachment where my dad served just prior to his death ... they had watched the interview and drove to Eugenia and Flesherton to find me and chat ...

Looking back over the last couple of years I realize the interesting journey I have been on ... and last week at Presbytery I also came to realize how incredibly toxic the Church context I was trying to survive within really was ... with the notable (and much appreciated) exception of my time with the Presbyterian Church little of what I endured prior to arriving in Ontario has been healthy and wholesome ... the machinations and the manipulations and the JUSTIFICATION of the toxicity is breath-taking to step away from and see in its broader context.

Admittedly most of the toxicity arises from fear and from the inability to find enough trust to address that fear, but what has offended me deeply and hurt me the most is the complete lack of compassion and understanding by those in positions of leadership who continually sought to marginalize and crush me by placing the blame solely on my my shoulders and who kept justifying the toxic actions of others with nothing more than a shrug of the shoulders ...

Fortunately, I was able to survive, and like the old adage says - "what doesn't kill ya makes you stronger".

This afternoon driving by the windmill farm south of Dundalk I reflected on my life being like those towering windmills turning in the wind ... over the last four or five years I've experienced many storms and howling winds ... and like the majestic windmills I drove past today, I've been able to face the storms and convert the energy of their fury into something positive, affirming and life giving ...

Today with the chance to sit and catch my breath for a moment, I've come to realize how blessed my journey has really been despite the set backs and the struggles and IN SPITE of the twists and turns I have much to be thankful for - not least of which is finding myself ministering in a place and context that is less toxic and more healthy than I have known in my previous 18 years of ministry ... I hold no illusions. I know there are toxic people in every corner and court of the Church, but thankfully, the Spirit has guided me to a place where the toxic are outnumbered numerically and politically by the healthy and whole !!

This Thanksgiving I am for the first time in quite awhile truly thankful ...