Almost three years ago, I mused about the power fear sometimes has over us, and I proclaimed OPENLY my trust and my belief that one day I would find myself in a better place ... (click here to read 'Fear is a Funny Thing' from July 2008)
Last night driving home from a visit with my mom, and having to struggle with some of the health and age related issues she is confronting in her life right now, I got thinking about what it means to face our fears, trust in God (or the cosmos) and live fully present in THIS MOMENT (in the NOW that Tolle speaks of).
While I didn't come up with any answers, I kept thinking about the Gide quotation that is part of the entry from July 2008, and the other bits and pieces I cited there ... I kept thinking over and over that sometimes we have to let go of the comfortable and the familiar to find ourselves where God wants us to be, and more importantly, where we NEED to be to find the wholeness that is required ... in July of 2008, had you told me that I would be where I am now I would have scoffed and said "Never."
Yet, along the way I had the courage to let go of some stuff ... I had the ability to see some other stuff that needed work ... and I put my trust in God to see me through ...
Along the way, I've moved TWICE, lost my job TWICE, worked a dozen part time gigs, discovered my voice as a writer, engaged in serious and intentional social activism, found myself outside of the United Church only to be cared for and nurtured back to wholeness by a wonderful group of Presbyterian folks, and I found myself encountering again and again and again the gift of God's grace.
Has my life been perfect? NO.
Have I made mistakes? Oh yeah, a few and then some.
But along the way, I've found a place of contentment and joy by trusting in God to see me through ...
Last night over and over I heard in the back of my mind the mantra by Gide about consenting to lose sight of the comfortable shoreline before us, and to trust in God to carry us through the storms and out into the open ocean so we can discover new lands ... Today, many aspects of my life are new and unexpected, while others are familiar and comfortable, but overall, when it feels like the storms unfolding around me are about to overwhelm me, I do truly find myself reflecting back on the understanding I found almost three years ago in the midst of all that was swirling around me, and I find myself smiling and saying: "OK God, it's up to you ..." and I content myself with seeing where the journey will take me ...
Life is too short to take it too seriously ... sometimes we need to just let go and trust in God to see us through. The affirmation to that came this morning in my early morning devotional as I read a passage my Standish, who said it is vital for Churches to find themselves in a place where they simply trust in God, and live their faith as a VERB not a noun ... he cites an example of a Chruch stressed by budget concerns, and rather than calling a special meeting, or making a special appeal for funds, they opted instead to trust in God through prayer to see them through ... it worked.
Life is like that sometimes ... what we want, may not be what God wants for us, nor is what we need ... sometimes we need to simply let go and be present to the moment and leave the rest in the hands of God, our higher power, the cosmos, fate (whatever term you wish to use), and see what unfold ...
Today, looking out my window, I realize that life isn't about the destination ... it's about the journey. And to fully enjoy the journey sometimes we simply have to let go and see where we'll end up.
Today, looking back over the last four or five years, I can say honestly I've drifted to a lovely place physically, emotionally, spiritually and mentally, and it wouldn't have happened without having the courage to let go and see where life was about to take me !!!
Dayenu !!
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