My two cents ...

On the eve of the final demise of the Canadian Penny, I can't help but share my 'two cents' pictured above.

They are not special nor are they remarkable. They are just two little pennies that I found in September while we were getting mom's house ready for the Auction sale that cleaned out the final items in the house.

The two pennies had been sitting on a shelf above Dad's workbench in the basement, likely since he put them there 45 years ago ... They were tucked back against the cement wall with items that I don't ever remember moving or touching ... given the dates, I would imagine Dad took them out of his pocket and put them on the shelf while he was puttering around the workbench, and there they sat until I found them 45 years later and put them in my pocket and carried them home ...

They have no monetary value beyond the 2 cents they are worth. But the value they carry because I can place them in Dad's hand sometime before he died, makes them precious ... I've tucked them in a simple wooden box I bought for mom when I was touring the Middle East during my University years, and that she used to store mementoes I had given her over the years ... in the box along with the pennies are a cheap wooden and plastic crucifix I bought for a shekel from a Coptic Priest sitting at the back of the 'Tomb of Jesus' in the Church of the Holy Sepluchre in Jerusalem, a mother-of-pearl brooch I bought her in Cairo, and other assorted odds and ends I had given her over the years ... like the pennies, none of the items are valuable in and of themselves, but because now, two years after her death, I can open the box and remember her and the moments in time when I gave her those trinkets, they are precious.

They are precious because Mom put them aside in a special box that in turn sat on her dresser amid the other items that were important touchstones to her ... every once in awhile when it is quiet, I open the box and let my finger run over the assorted items contained within it, and I smile ... they may not be valuable, but they are important ...

... my two cents'!!! 

A New Chapter

I can hear my mother saying "What are you doing??"

Yet, despite moving from excited to terrified and back again with regularlity, I am moving forward slowly and intentionally on my new dream ...

The building pictured above is mine. The final sale went through last week, and we're in the process of getting it ready to be a Local Coffee Shop specializing in Fair Trade Products and local food, craft and artisan products as well.

Highland Grounds will have an echo of Chipperfield Coffee Company in Minnedosa and Forbidden Flavours in Brandon - but it will be it's own distinctive Flesherton creation ... I know what I want it to be, and I've heard what the local folks have said they are looking for, and right now we are working to bring those two streams together, and create a community hub for the Flesherton and Grey Highlands area.

The goal is to be open sometime in mid to late March, with an official 'Grand Opening' after Easter, but for now I will be uncommittal around dates - there is a lot of work to be done, and as we move forward there is little doubt plans will have to change and alter as we learn more about the building, and more about the business we've proposed.

The bottom line, as of today is Highland Grounds will be a coffee shop specializing in the provision of high quality Fair Trade products, while providing a place for people to come and sit and enjoy the ambience of a building that has been an integral part of 'Downtown' Flesherton for three generations as a Hardware Store. That legacy will be honoured and continued, and Highland Grounds will strive to be an active and unrepentent promotor of the other local businesses, and the many wonderful things that are happening in and around Flesherton throughout the year.

When the door is finally opened for business, I look forward to welcoming you all into this exciting (and slightly terrifying) undertaking - and I will be proud to pour you a cup of Fair Trade Coffee and share this dream with you ...

See you soon !!!

Marking the day ...

Two years ago this morning I answered the phone and my world dramatically changed ...

Scott said "Um, ... yeah ... mom died this morning ..."

The morning that followed was a blur ... and much of the next 24 months remains a blur ...

Mom died. We prepared for her service and began cleaning up around the house and getting ready to clean it out once and for all ... then our neighbour, mentor, friend and father figure Laverne died and I was asked to deliver the eulogy for his service ...

On the way back from the funeral, Scott gave me what I will forever cherish as the most important compliment I've ever received. While driving he said, "you know you're pretty good at doing that ..."

"Doing what?"
"Funerals. I mean you planned Mom's with Kathy and it was great. And Laverne's was really good. You got us laughing, then almost to tears and back to laughing, all by telling the stories of who he was and what he meant to us. You're good."
I choked out a thank you, then after a quiet moment he said: "I want you to do my eulogy."
"What?"
"I want you to do my eulogy." he repeated.
"I thought you were going to out live me so you can dance on my grave?" I offered in return.
"Oh yeah," Scott laughed, "I am. But you know you can never be sure. It's good to have a plan in place just in case you know!"

After we laughed our conversation turned to other more mundane things like the meeting we had with the lawyer and the storm that hit that afternoon and kept me in Stratford til the next morning.

Two weeks later, I would make a very long cold drive on a February night to find Scott lying dead in his bed, and a week later I would fulfil that request and deliver the eulogy at his memorial ...

Looking back it has been a LONG two years ... after Mom, Mr Baumbach and Scott I went to BC to say farewell to our friend Indigo, then spend endless hours cleaning, sorting and pitching the 50 plus years of stuff gathered in the house we called home ... along the way I've settled their affairs and estate, sorted and cleaned and sold off much of the stuff, had two break ins at the bush, and have filled my house with mementos and remembrances of my life ...

Looking forward, I'm on the verge of opening a new business in Flesherton to offer Fair Trade coffee and a place for the community to come and gather and celebrate all things LOCAL, and my children are standing on the verge of adulthood, having grown considerably in the last couple of years with all of life's ups and downs and twists and turns.

There is much I would do differently if given a chance, and there are things I wish I could unwind. But in life you can only keep moving forward and trusting in the simple reality that with each step you heal and learn and grow ...

It's been a long two years ... there is not a day that passes that I don't miss Mom and Scott and wonder how different things would be if they were still here ... I miss Mom's phone calls ... I miss the occasional conversation Scott and I were able to have ... and I miss the expressions and comments he could and would always offer ... I miss them, but I'm glad I had that last six months to get reacquainted and reconnected with them.

Today, all through my house I am reminded of them ... and that makes me able to smile more then weep ...

Haven't been blogging lately ...

To state the blindingly obvious - I haven't been blogging much lately.

The reasons are diverse and wide ranging ... my day job has been busy ... I have had no less then three cold/flu bugs since October ... I am busy planning to open a Fair Trade Coffee shop ... Ms H has hockey two or three nights a week ALL over Southern Ontario ... I haven't felt motivated nor inspired ... I've been otherwise preoccupied ... the list goes on and on ...

The bottom line is - I haven't been posting here in almost three months!! Yikes!!

I have thought about sharing some of the musing that have come with the final cleaning up and sale of our family home in Stratford, but have struggled to put the many emotions into words.

I've tried to share some of the experiences and happenings, but felt inadequate to the task.

I will be back eventually, just not sure when ... I have some ideas rolling around within me, but as I've made the journey from losing Mom and Scott in early 2011, and trying to pick up the many pieces that were scattered all over the place, I've realized that sometimes silence is a good option. Sometimes just being present to the sorrow and sadness is the necessary act. It has been a long and winding road ... and I will share some of the reflections and observations I've had along the way ...

For the moment ... all the best of the season, and prayers as we struggle with the deep darkness that breaks over us from our headlines and happenings ... this season of Advent is a reminder that God is with us, and that even in the deepest darkness, the Light WILL break thru ... in this we trust!

peace.

Reflections from All Hallow's Eve ...

The yard was decorated. The weather was grim. And yet the kids came in droves ... we had over 100 trick'r'treaters at our door ranging in age from wee ones in mom's arms through the teenagers who threw on a hat and carried their knapsack with room for candy amid their binders and notebooks from school.

All in all, it was a good night, with lots of adorable costumes, excited children, and more than a few chuckles.

It was a good ending to my birthday ...

I began the day not expecting much - I seldom due ... long ago I developed an Eeyore like approach to my birthday because it never seemed to be a big deal to anyone, and I formed a wall of self-defense that minimized my disappointment ...

But yesterday turned out ok. Not great, but definitely not bad.

I got unexpected phone calls from friends near and far. I had visits and coversations with folks I hadn't expected to bump into. And I was humbly surprised by gestures of kindness and care offered by folks in my circle of family and friends.

Noahkila created a marvelous dinner of homemade pasta in an alfredo sauce. Ms H tried her hands at a spooktacular cake that didn't turn out quite as planned, but was nonetheless delicious in a wonderfully monstrous way. And others offered gestures and words of kindness that helped dispell the dreary mood I was in ... as I've said, it WAS a good day, and for that I am thankful and appreciative.

I have a good circle of family and friends - and for that I am humbly grateful!!

Shalom to one and all ...

Today I shall wear purple ...

Today I will proudly follow the crowd and wear purple as a visibile and visual reminder to OTHERS about the dangers and perils of BULLYING!!!

Every day when I look in the mirror I am reminded of the scars of bullying. My nose was broken no less then twice by bullies who thought it was fun and okay to punch me in the face.

I remember many long nights as a teen weeping in fear at the prospects of going back to school and facing the torment and the violence to my person. Some of it was physical, but much was verbal and emotional.

Can you imagine making fun of a child because their father was dead, and they lived in a single parent home?

I still remember the afternoon that happened for the first time ...

I still remember being picked on because my clothes were hand-me-downs, and my jeans were patched and a bit ratty (this was before THAT was the style) ...

I still remember being picked LAST, or in some case not at all for games in the school yard and in my neighbourhood ... and then if I showed ANY emotion, or the slightest tear being mercilessly teased ...

I still remember the hurt that was constant and seemingly endless ...

I survived ... but I still remember ...

And today, I weep not for the Amanda Todd's of the world - there are more than enough people weeping for the pretty photogenic victims of bullying - but I weep for the hundreds of thousands of faceless victims who never have that moment in the limelight that says "YOU ARE VALUABLE AND LOVED AND WORTH MORE THEN THE B-LLS--T!!!!"

I have found it disturbing to read online over and over postings by people asking "What about ----?" and they cite a friend, a family member or another young person who has been bullied to the point of suicide.

As horrible as the story of Amanda Todd is, the lesson we NEED to know and remember and act on - is that bullying in ANY and ALL forms is wrong, and there are hundreds of thousands of kids being bullied for any number of reasons today, and they don't get the media attention Ms Todd and her family are getting.

Those kids need to be remembered TOO!!!

The other longer life lesson we need to be mindful of, is that Bullying is not limited only to the playground or the school class room. It happens in a myriad of ways and continues well into adulthood.

I wish I could say I left Bullying behind in my childhood, but I can look back in my journey as an adult and as a minister and see shining examples of Bullies and bullying behaviour in almost every corner of my life.

Slashing my tires and shooting at my house are extreme examples of bullying ... false reports to the Childrens' Aid and traumatizing my children are definitely a form of bullying ... spreading false rumours and listening to them is a form of bullying ... failing to stand up for someone being pummelled and harassed is a form of bullying ... and claiming to be a 'good Christian' while avoiding someone in a mall or on the street is a form of bullying ...

My list could go on ... but I don't need to revisit the past - most of the examples are cited previously throughout the past posts here at Prairie Preacher, so I will leave the list as it is and offer the hopeful prayer that one day the Church will see that it can do more and be better at walking the talk, and that it will take seriously the need to address bullying in its own courts and circles ...

Bullying leaves life long scars, but fortunately we know that there is a strange twist in the old adage: "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me ..."

Names do hurt. But when the names and the sticks and the stones break our bones (our spirit, our heart), we are made stronger at the place where that breakage occurs. The scar that forms will often make the bone stronger and that is what victims of bullying rely on - the strength that comes from surviving, healing and attaining wholeness!!

Looking back, I know I was often the victim of relentless and horrible abuse and bullying ... but the healing that followed has help forge me into the adult I am today. I'm far from perfect, and I've needed to work through some stuff along the way, but I know now, 40 years later, that victims can survive and prosper.

AND that my friends is the message we need to get out there to every victim of Bullying: They can survive and become stronger people because they've overcome the fearfilled abuse weaklings attempted to inflict on them.

If we want to honour victims like Amanda Todd, we have to do more than just stop bullying - we have to help ALL the victims survive and transform our world with the amazing strength they have to share!!!

Namste!!!

A reminder ...

Yesterday, Ms H and I picked 13 pints of cherry tomatoes from our little garden plot - the plants were the left overs from the Father's Day give away at St John's and their production has been nothing short of prolific ... the 13 pints of tiny red fruit were taken to both services and put on the back table to be shared.

And shared they were!!

I came home with an empty tray and a few dollars gathered for the coffers of the church!!

In the next few days more baskets of tomatoes will be gathered, and I'll likely drop them off at the doors of some of our Church members. The zucchini and the peppers will find a temporary home in our kitchen before being enjoyed in some culinary delight.

The lesson in this is the simple joy of gardening can and will produce a bounty that MUST be shared, and along the way that bounty will be celebrated and savoured - and that is the way it is supposed to be!!

Scenes from my summer ...

Just some random shots of my summer:

Creative advertising using Dad's vintage John Deere 110

Beetle and L outside of the Much Music Studios

in downtown Toronto on a rainy afternoon!!

Noahkila, S and L outside the Much Music Studios

(yes, they ARE filming in the background!!)

 

The absolutely spectacular stained glass dome 

in the Grand Hall at the 

Hockey Hall of Fame!!! 

The hallowed Lord Stanley's Cup (the REAL one)

complete with some one's name!!!

 

Beetle and I with Lord Stanley's Cup 

(or at least one of them!!??)

Beetle outside something almost as tall as she!!!

(The CN Tower)

 

Noahkila and Beetle standing on the glass floor, 

a mere 342 metres over Toronto!!!

  

L seems a little worried about the glass under her feet ... 

... at 342 metres to the bottom, 

she has good reason to be worried!!!

 

 

Joey breaks out of my office 

and takes a quick tour of the Flesherton Farmer's Market 

on the classic (and ancient) JD pedal tractor!!!

 

Ms H and Beetle on the CNE Midway!!

 

Beetle doning the gear and ready for 'battle'?!?!

Merry Go Rounds are the BEST!!!

Ms H, Beetle and Ms H's friends 

on the CNE carousel!

The end to a very good day 

at The Ex !!!!

(Ms H & Beetle after photo-bombing someone else's pictures!!)

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

(and last, but certaintly not least:)

 

A visit to the Memorial for Fallen Police Officers

across from Queens' Park 

in downtown Toronto.

Reflections on the summer than has been ...

My summer started with a break-in at the bush, and the loss of an atv, some tools and few other items ... after a couple of days of work, Noahkila and I got things back in order, and moved some things home rather than risk further losses ...

The Beetle arrived for an extended holiday ... meanwhile, my Dr had put me on some new meds because of concern about tests I had had previously, the meds threw me and my system for a loop, so I spent the first bit of the summer feeling like I had been hit by a truck ...

I can't say my energy level has gotten back to where it has been previously, but it has regained some ground, and more importantly, I've come to appreciate the need to balance my time and be more intentional looking after my self - something I've seldom done well.

Looking back in the waning days of summer, I can say that it has been a fun, rewarding, exhausting and very busy summer ... along the way we set the date and started working towards the auction sale for Mom's house, stuff and other assorted items ... I've been to T.O. several times and visited the CN Tower, the Hockey Hall of Fame, Much Music, China Town and the Police Memorial ... I've made a dozen trips to Stratford and hauled stuff to the dump, and I've been able to relax at home with the important people in my circle of family and friends around me ... all in all it's been a good summer.

As the fall unfolds and we move into the busy-ness that the season entails, I have no doubt I will find myself rushing about trying to keep up, but if I learned nothing else this summer, I've learned that at the end of the day the stuff is less important than the relationships we have with those we care about.

This past week Ms. H and a couple of her friends wanted to go to Keady Market just south of Owen Sound ... I drove them there, then accompanied them as we walked up and down and up and down the seemingly endless rows of STUFF !!!! Aside from the crowds I found myself marvelling in a less than positive way, at the sheer quantity of STUFF that was available ... I couldn't help but wonder WHY???

WHY?? are we so enamoured as a culture with STUFF, that we keep buying and buying and buying, then renting places to store the stuff that we never use, and never look at??

WHY is shopping so ALL important in our culture??

WHY ... we left Keady Market and went to Stratford and I looked critically at all the STUFF that still crowds Mom's house and I rolled up my sleeves and set to work ... I filled a dozen or more trash bags, I sorted and sifted mountains of detritus, and on Wednesday we loaded every inch of my truck for TWO dump runs that go ride of a MOUNTAIN of garbage ... then I pulled the last of the mementos I wanted from the house and set to work readying the place for the pending auction ... and today I'm left, still wondering why we've put so much emphasis on the "STUFF" in life, rather than on life itself ...

I'm glad my summer was relaxed and I had time to spend with the people I value ... I think my priorities are getting back to where they should be ... hopefully this summer will continue on this path!!

As our Olympians return home ...

In the wake of the London Olympics I think expressing our appreciation to ALL the athletes is not only appropriate, but the ONLY response.

ALL of the athletes who were in London did a great job and have more than earned the appreciaition of our Nation for making us proud.

Afterall, the Olympics are not just about getting Gold medals, they are about being the best you can be and striving to achieve personal bests. (Remember the Jamaican Bobsled team and Eddie the Eagle Edwards??)

Aren't the Olympics about higher, stronger, faster?? I don't remember ever reading that they are about only getting the gold? Being there alone is a spectacular achievement, and every one of those men and women who wore Canada on their chests entering the Stadium 18 days ago deserve our respect, our admiration, and our pride - they've earned it!!!

Thanks to Team Canada for a job well done!!! You made us proud!!!

Me and Beetle and Lord Stanley's Cup

Last week, Beetle and I had a visit with Lord Stanley's Cup at the Hockey Hall of Fame in downtown
Toronto ... I wonder if one day her name could be etched on hockey's most famous hardware??

Really??? The United Church makes the headlines again ...

This weekend, Globe and Mail Columnist Margaret Wente once again takes aim at the United Church of Canada, and dubs us and other more liberal denominations as irrelevant ...

My first response was "Really? Again?"

Then I read the article and I wondered yet again, why the media publishes articles about the United Church and manages almost EVERY TIME to interview people within this vast and diverse denomination, who are not really that reflective of the Church or its leadership.

There are those folks out there who do well at getting press coverage and getting their ideas and opinions out there, and in the process are deemed "reflective of the United Church." But when I read yet again, a clergy person who expresses a negative opinion of something as central and basic as belief in God, Jesus or the Holy Spirit I have to wonder what United Church they represent.

This past year, our congregations did a line by line study-conversation of the documents of faith that are part of the revisit and reframing of our beliefs as a Denomination. Over and over we commented on how the older pre-1968 words were problematic in embracing and reflecting our modern beliefs. But overarching that conversation was a firm and unwavering belief in God, and the basic tenets of the Church ... God, the Resurrection, Christ, the Holy Spirit, and the transformative power of the Holy in our lives and in our world ... the words may vary, but the faith does NOT.

We spoke of the power and the necessity of prayer.

We spoke of the power and centrality of community.

We spoke of how our faith effects everything we are about as we live and move in our circles of family, friend and community.

We spoke of how what we believe colours and inspires our choices and actions.

We spoke of how being Believers motivates us to support the local food bank, offer support to our neighbours, opt to support outreach programmes and initiative, and be active and involved in our community.

We spoke of how living our faith means being open to sharing it with others through worship services, outreach dinners, weekly gatherings, the presence at the Farmers' Market and a dozen other things we do over and over and over ...

Is the Church irrelevant ... to some ... but as even Ms Wente notes, there is a spiritual hunger out 'there', and it our responsibility as a believing and vibrant Church to open our doors to new people, and invite them to become part of the conversation.

AND, I will go out on a limb and say BOLDLY and UNAPOLOGETICALLY, that 99% of that task rests on the shoulders of the Clergy. It is our responsibility as clergy to provide a passionate, enthusiastic, and faithful (not too mention Faith FILLED) leadership that inspires our people to dream and hope, and equips them intellectually, mentally, emotionally AND spiritually to go out  into the world and envision ways of sharing their faith.

It is NOT about the cult of personality that see Pastors drawing in waves of people enamoured by the prosperity gospel or some simplistic reading of the Scriptures, but rather it is ALL about COMPETENCE!!!

We need clergy who care about more than their pension and their next cheque.

We need clergy who are not marking the days to retirement.

WE NEED CLERGY WHO GIVE A DAMN!!!!!

Too many clergy are bland milque toast in their preaching and in their presence ... and too many clergy and leaders are SO steeped in the ways of the Church, that they are truly out of touch with the real world ... what we need is a diversity ... passion ... enthusiasm and a HUGE dose of living vibrant faith.

I can count on my facebook at least a dozen clergy friends who are incredibly competent and capable and amazingly passionate in living their faith - almost everyone of them begins and ends their work in prayer, and none of them undervalue the necessity of the Church to change and grow and embrace the leadership of the Spirit. They ARE believers and not surprisingly, none of them have ever been interviewed by mainstream media about what is wrong with the Church - and THANKFULLY, almost everyone of them is willing, able and courageous enough to express their take on what is wrong with the Church we all continue to call home.

I can speak only for myself, but I am willing to bet, that everyone of them continues to share in the ministry of this Church - This UNITED CHURCH OF CANADA, that we call home because everyday they encounter amazing people who inspire them and remind us that we are not dead yet, and that with the presence and love of the Holy Spirit Resurrections loom and bloom around us every single day.

Thanks for folks like Adam, Barb, Nick, Audrey, Phil, Clare, Cheryl-Anne, Darren, Brian, Bill, Bob, Gord, and dozens of others - the Untied Church of Canada is alive and well, and STILL living what it believes.

In short Ms Wente, and folks like David Ewart are WRONG.

The Church is still relevant - and our willingness to embrace social causes while living our belief with honesty and integrity and passion is what WILL change the WORLD!!!!

Stay tuned ... we've ONLY JUST BEGUN !!!!!

Nothing Runs Like a Deere ... especially down memory lane!!!

When Scott died in February 2011, one of the first things I did was brought the John Deere 110 (vintage 1960) into the security of the shop out at the bush ... while to many it is just an old tractor, to me it is a strong connection to my past ... one that goes back to the first weeks that mom and dad and their newborn son called their new house on Devon St home.

Dad bought the John Deere in 1961, and for the next seven years used it regularly and almost incessantly.

I remember hearing from neighbours ALL over the neighbourhood how Dad would spend HOURS out with the tractor blowing driveways in the winter time, and mowing lawns in the summer.

He took the neighbourhood kids for rides in the dumpster trailer, and one glorious afternoon our long time neighbour and friend Laverne Baumbach had tears rolling down his cheeks from laughter as he recounted the night he and Dad and an assortment of neighbourhood men used the 110 and the trailer for a rather inebriated journey meandering from house to house ... while Dad drove the tractor, the men passed a bottle or three around the trailer while each took a turn being the one running alongside the trailer making sure the tire (which was lacking a simple cotter pin) didn't fall off.

As Laverne described it, one of them would run alongside, or stagger ... banging on the tire to make sure it stayed on the axle while the others roared with laughter and enjoyed the silliness of the adventure.

Today, there is one survivor of that night, and a few months ago at Laverne's service he and I talked about it and with a sly grin he said "I can neither confirm or deny those details ..." he then added with the same grin, "but it WOULD be fun to take a spin in the old 110 for old time sake sometime!!" It's a request I'll try to honour in the coming weeks!!

For now though the old 110 has taken up residency in my garage alongside its newer, sleaker and much more comfortable cousin ... but there is something special about the 110.

It was Dad's. He loved that tractor, and for 50 years it has been part of our family. A few years back Scott had it cleaned and repainted (not exactly John Deere Green, but close enough) and new decals were applied, then for several years it sat in a lean-to under a tarp. Today, thanks to a local mechanic and John Deere enthusiast, the 110 again runs like a Deere.

I had it out for a quick spin around the yard and up and down the sidewalk tonight ... and I can only say - It felt GREAT!!! The last time I drove it was almost 30 years ago when I used it to mow the lawn at mom's.

Like riding a bicycle, you never forget!!!

But for me, the best and the strongest memory is associated with the photo below ... sometime in the spring or early summer of 1968, mom pulled out her instamatic camera and snapped a picture of her boys. I am sitting on Dad's knee and a smiling Scott stands beside Dad who is sitting on the 110.

For the last 25 years this picture has been one of the four pictures I had of dad, that I cherished ... in 2005 when the arson fire ripped through Minnedosa United Church I feared I would lose that picture, which was sitting in my office ... today, every time I look at the 110, I think of that sunny afternoon and how much love Dad had for his family ... the 110 might just be an old tractor, but it carries far more memories that the dumpster trailer could ever manage to carry. And every time it starts and I pull it out of the garage I'll think of those wonderful memories and carry them with me, smiling and laughing at the continuation of a story began one day at a John Deere dealer when Dad was handed the keys for the first time!!

tickety, tick, tickety, tick, tickety, tick ...braak ... DING!!!

In the age of smart phones, lap tops and tablets, this old beast is positively ancient ... yet, in its day, this old Remington Travel-Rite was as modern and cutting edge as the latest offering from Apple, or any other gadget manufacturer. I can't say for certain how old it is, but I do know it has typed many a page in its long and storied life ...

This antique began its life when it was purchased by my dad who had absolutely atrocious handwriting (a trait his son and grandson have inherited!!!). Dad used it for just about everything. The tiny little circular piece of paper on the dial of the rotary phone in the kitchen still has the emergency numbers carefully typed out on this beast ... on the door of the broom closet was the paper list of contact phone numbers for family friend - it was also carefully typed ... all through the house were neatly typed slips of paper that ranged from love notes to my mom, through to formal letters to various companies and agencies. Then in time, the typewriter fell into my hands and I used it through my high school days and into university until it was replaced by a Smith Corona electric typewriter/word processor that I've mused about previously. (An interesting aside is that I purchased my Smith Corona at the same time CandyGirlFlies from "I Can Fly Just Not Up" bought her's - I still have mine!!!)

As for the Remington, I hefted it in and out of my car regularly taking it to and from Hamilton for papers and assignments at McMaster, before retiring it to the corner of my bedroom sometime in the early 1990's ... it sat in that corner until this winter when I finally brought it home and put it downstairs ... it may not be valuable but it has many good memories associated with it.

One of the stories that is connected to this old Remington also made an appearance in a newspaper story when a presiding judge asked the investigating officer for the notes he made the night of the incident in the patrol car.

Constable Sam Ankenmann produced a sheaf of neatly typewritten pages and handed them to the judge.

The judge again asked for the notes that the officer had made the night of the incident.

Dad, no doubt with a grin on his face, answered the judge by saying that those WERE the notes he made the night of the incident while on scene in the patrol car.

The judge wanted to know how, and dad explained that he carried a portable typewriter with him and made his notes on it in the car. According to the article in the paper, the judge then called for a recess in the proceedings and directed Dad to produce the typewriter and prove the seemingly spurious claim of typing while on scene.

I can, if I close my eyes picture Dad walking out to the patrol car and hefting the Remington into the Court and with a twinkle in his eye begin to type for the judge ... the article (which I found in Mom's stuff and dutifully tucked away to keep it safe, but can't find right now) notes that the judge was both shocked and impressed by Dad's use of the typewriter.

I may never type another page on the old Remington, but like the other handful of touchstone items I have from Dad, it will be a cherished heirloom BECAUSE of the close and wonderful connection that it has with Dad. Then again, maybe what I need to do is take the old Remington out to the Bush and let the locale and the typewriter motivate my reflections and my thoughts and perhaps that elusive story I've been toying with will finally come into being ... one just never knows!

 I realized yesterday talking with Beetle about the typewriter, that it likely was in the car with him the night of his accident, though it shows little evidence of any damage - and I will likely never know for certain - I only know that on the green Bakelite keys, Dad typed all manner of documents, letters, and notes - most of which are lost, but all of which were part of his life and legacy ... the few that remain, like the typewriter are fragments of a life lived with love, laughter and a wonderful joie de vie!!

It may not be fancy, but this little typewriter was my Dad's and I think of him every time I see it !!!

And a journey ends on a grey and rainy day ...

The grey and rainy day kind of matches my mood right now ...

This morning I had the sad task of taking Chloe, the calico pictured above, to the vet for the final time ... she had some fight left in her despite the failing health she was experiencing in recent days. As the vet put the needle in her hip for the sedative, she growled and spun around and bit him!! Thankfully it was with the side of her mouth missing the big sharp fang that had been removed some years ago after an infection. The vet for his part graciously accepted her final act with a laugh and the observation: "She's still got some fight left in her!"

Yes, she did ... but fortunately, she went quietly and peacefully as the sedative took effect and she slipped into a deep and comfortable sleep ... I don't know if animals go to some kind of heaven, and I don't even want to think about the Theological Implications and DEBATE that would start, but I would like to think that Chloe is somewhere peaceful with her old chums who have taken that road ahead of her ... as she slipped into sleep, I whispered into her ear that I hope she'll soon be back together with Mindy, Angus, and Diesel, our dogs and cat who have come and gone from our lives in the 19 years Chloe was part of the journey.

Nineteen years! That's a grand run for a stray kitten that arrived on our doorstep on Thanksgiving weekend in 1993!!

Nineteen years of memories and recollections to look back on.

Nineteen years that saw Chloe outlast two dogs, a cat, two rats, two rabbits, and a couple of stick bugs ... this morning Chrysanthemum is out of sorts - looking around for her old friend ... and Simba, though he is sleeping off the effects of his neutering, has been looking in all the corners where Chloe has hidden in recent days ... life goes on, but a familiar (and grouchy) presence is missing!!!

But, in the last few weeks Chloe has not been comfortable nor well, so it was time ... as hard as it was, it was time ... in this moment, I'm thinking about the snippets and images etched in my mind of Chloe and her life in Bella Coola, Langely, Minnedosa, Brandon and Flesherton. She has seen more of Canada that many people ever will - and she has taken each move in stride, although she made known her displeasure of being put in a box and moved from here to there each time!!! And really, who can blame her?

Right now, the image I have in my mind as I think about the old girl, is one from the summer of 1994, when Noahkila was still just a babe ... I was working in my office in the basement of the manse in Bella Coola, and Noahkila was sleeping on the couch, wrapped in his blankets. I glanced over and saw that Chloe had crawled in the bottom of the swaddled blankets leaving only her hind legs and tail showing - at the other end, Noahkila remained blissfully asleep!!

Before I could get the camera and snap a picture, Chloe freed herself and laid beside the babe (something she would do frequently!!! I lost count of how many times I carried a sleeping baby into his crib and had push Chloe aside, or later came back and found her snuggling her Boy!!!). The image though that I have is of a strange merman-like image of a baby with calico cat legs and tail!!!

Such was Chloe ... always looking for a place of comfort and warmth, and for most of her 19 years, she slept with Noahkila - and for his part for most of those years, he would curl around her giving her the best and warmest place on the bed!!!

She truly was the matriarch, and despite the annoyance of finding puddles and surprises all over the house in the last few months - we WILL miss her, but after 19 years, we can only wish her a peaceful rest and say "thanks for the memories!!!"

R.I.P. Chloe - 1993 to 2012!!!

Mid-Summer Delights!!!

Above is my tiny little garden when I started ...
Below is my tiny little garden today:

And thus far, I have enjoyed a number of fresh radishes as snacks, a wonderful dinner with fresh steamed chard, and in recent days the tomatos are coming on fast and furiously.

Everything is growing very well despite the drought-like conditions (the twice daily watering helps) and all things being equal, it will continue to produce a bounty of fresh produce throughout the summer!!!!

Just had to share the before and after pictures!!! (MORE to follow!!!)

One cup at a time ...

One of my long standing passions has been Fair Trade products ... I have, in every community where I've lived, and every church I've served, introduced and promoted Fair Trade coffee, tea, chocolate, sugar, dried fruit and other products.

In the last 18 months, the folks of Flesherton/Eugenia have not only encouraged that passion, they have joined in and taken our promotion of Fair Trade to a wholly unexpected level.

Each week we set up and people a booth at two local farmer's markets, and we sell a steady stream of some very fine Fair Trade products - so much so, that some weeks we struggle to keep up to the demand!!

But more importantly, the Farmers' Market booth serves a better purpose - it tells people that the congregations of St John's and Eugenia United Churches are alive and well, and interested in reaching out to the community around them and sharing the values and importance of our faith with our neighbours both near and far.

Despite the work and effort involved, I look forward to the weekends when we set up our tables, our tent and lay out our inventory and welcome folks to consider making a conscious decision to provide themselves with a good quality product that makes a difference in corners of the world we may never visit. One cup of coffee, or tea at a time, we are MAKING a difference in the world, and the good folks of the Flesherton-Eugenia Pastoral Charge are living that reality every day !!!

Sometimes living our faith and sharing what we believe means stepping out of the comfort of our buildings and truly going into the market places and offering an faithful alternative to the people we meet there!!! And that is just what Fair Trade is ALL ABOUT !!!

Ain't that the truth ...

One week of holidays down ... and more than a couple to go ...

I haven't made plans for anything big or momentous for my holidays. The highlights so far have been a break in at Scottie's bush with the loss of tools, various items and one of the atv's, then a couple of days later Beetle arrived from BC to spend the summer sweltering in hot, humid and muggy Southern Ontario.

Since her arrival, we haven't really done very much ... dinner out a couple of times, some shopping expeditions, watching some videos, and splashing in the pool ... but, it has been wonderful to have her home, and to have her around.

Looking back on the week that has been, I can't help but wonder if the quiet start of my holidays is a good reminder of Vonnegut's astute observation about the little things in life being the most meaningful and important.

For me, I've tried in the last few years to focus on living in the present moment and appreciating what I am surrounded with ... I've had some epic failures in this, but by and large have continued to try to actively and openly appreciate the things around me in the present moment.

Admittedly, I've let some things slip through my fingers, and I have a few 'little things' that I failed to appreciate adequately until after they were gone ... but I will continue to try.

This spring I planted a number of gardens in my yard and have been enjoying the process of watering, weeding, and otherwise tending them as they grow ... yesterday Beetle and I enjoyed the first ripe radishes, and I savoured the sweetness of a vine ripened cherry tomato enjoyed standing in the late afternoon sun ... the simple patient act of tending a garden is an ongoing reminder of life's little things ...

Looking forwards and backwards, I am mindful today not so much of life's little things, but of the importance of better appreciating those so-called little things, and valuing them better before they have slipped away, and it is too late ... good friends, good food, good conversation ... the list is pretty long ... and today, I'll try to continue doing better at appreciating them!

The nostalgia of sounds and smells ...

He ALWAYS had the best matchbox and hot wheels cars tucked away in his dresser. They sat in the middle drawer, on the right hand side in a (now) ancient Hot Wheels carrying case, and in the original cardboard sleeves ... and I was ALWAYS desperate to play with them.

It was an ongoing battle for most of my childhood: I would sneak in and 'borrow' the tiny toy cars and he would take them back then smack me around for my misdemeanours ... I was never thwarted for long though. I would be back trying again and again and again ...

As I got older I would sneak into Scott's room and carefully and quietly open the drawer to pull out the cars I wanted and one ear was always listening for a car door, or the rattle of the front door lest I get caught pilfering his drawer ...

Today, the dresser sits in my bed room at the foot of the bed, far from its original home, and even though the sounds of the handles being lifted and let go, and the pull of the drawers still makes me listen for a car door, or the front door (it's instinctive now!!!), I know (sadly) that I no longer have a big brother to fear finding me taking his stuff ... but there is a strange comfort in the familiar sounds the handles make when you open the drawer, and the woody smell that still permeates the dresser ... and even though the cars are tucked away in the basement, I still open the middle drawer on the right side expecting to see the familiar orange carrying case (I've thought about putting it back just because ...).

As I use the dresser, I think of Scott and all the memories - good, bad and in between - that are part of the journey we had together ... I think about him and how much I miss him ... I think about him and how much he influenced me whether he realized it or not ...

This week has been a series of nostalgic moments ... making strawberry pie for Beetle, tidying up afghans and quilts and tucking them in the old cedar chest, moving and sorting a few boxes, and just surveying the assortment of stuff that has come home from Mom's ... over and over the sounds and the scents have triggered deep memories of childhood, growing up in Stratford, hanging out at home, and just being part of the family circle that was Mom, Scott and I ... they have been good memories that brought a smile to my face, and a tear or two to my eyes ... but memories that brought comfort and a reminder that even though they are are gone, they are still very much part of my heart and soul ...

It is funny how powerful a memory can be when triggered by a sound or a scent ... I feel it everytime I open the middle drawer on the dresser ... I wait to hear his voice from the kitchen: "What the hell are you doing in my dresser??" ... and even though it would mean a beating, I would love to hear it one more time just for old time's sake!!!!

One day ... one glorious day:

This is Blake.

Reverend Blake Spencer, the pastor and minister at The Presbyterian Church in Pleasantville New Jersey.

In addition to being a Pastor, a father, a son, a friend and a fabulous person, Blake is also known as The Laughing Pastor, and blogs his reflections and thoughts about his life, his ministry and his journey of Grace and discovery ... AND, I am honoured to be able to count him amongst my friends!!

I wanted to offer this post today because I think Blake is an amazing person who has dared to stand up and speak out about his life and his experience in the Church. In the last few days Blake has lamented on Facebook about the bullying he is witnessing as our Presbyterian sisters and brothers meet in their General Assembly in the US ... Blake is being very open and honest about his struggle with the role and place of Gays and Lesbians in his home denomination, and the agony they are experiencing as they wrestle with this issue.

I see so many parallels to what my home denomination - The United Church of Canada went through over 30 years ago ... Congregations were torn apart ... friendships were ended ... angry words were spoken ... tempers flared ... and people repeatedly invovked the name of God to justify their ponts of view, and in some case to justify anger, hatred and non-faithful exclusion ... I remember well what I saw myself ... and I serve a Church that was devestated by the decision by the United Church to welcome self-proclaimed Gay and Lesbian candidates to ordination. The exact words were "Homosexuality in and of itself is not a barrier to ministry in the United Church of Canada."

Looking back over the last 30 years I can only offer a grateful "AMEN!!" to that decision and those bold enough to support it.

Our church hasn't been overrun with 'those kind of people' as some cried out ... but instead, our Church has become a place that is more aware and more sensitive to the bullying and the exclusion that we too often invoke in the defense of our faith. We have many wonderful and talented ministry personnel who HAPPEN to be Gay (or Lesbian), and who are able to be true to themselves, and no longer have to hide away in fear.

The United Church still has work to do, and despite our official policies as a Denomination to be open, welcoming and inclusive, we are still struggling to make that a reality in ALL corners of this Church we call home.

But from an official point of view, we've opened the door to including and celebrating the full spectrum of the human family by removing the barriers of colour, race, gender and sexuality from the dogma of faith - we recognize and celebrate and LIVE the fullness of being human!!

And for that I am thankful ...

I am also thankful for the courageous and faithful witness of people like Blake who have boldly stood up and openly shared their sexual orientation, and who have continued to share their gifts and calling of ministry!!

Our world, and the Church Universal and Catholic is a much better place because of the ministry and witness of folks like Blake ... and I am a better person for having folks like him in my circle of friends.

It's funny ... I would never introduce Blake as a Gay Pastor or a Gay Minister. Instead, I would introduce him as a Minister who happens to be Gay ... and I pray that one day I will live in a world and serve in a Church where we no longer have to make that designation.

I long for a day when we no longer speak of gay or straight ... but simply celebrate our commonality as the Children of God. With the leadership and guidance of folks like Blake, I truly believe it WILL happen before I retire!!!

And for that, I say a hearty and faithful: AMEN!!!!!