How I want to remember him ...

(thanks to my cousin Renee for the photo)

I already miss his smile ... his laugh ... and his pontificating on life, the universe and everything ... I might not have agreed with him all the time, but his "Just give your head a shake" approach to things was refreshing, and often grounded in common sense.

We might not have always seen eye to eye, and we ALL know there were times in our journeys that we didn't like each other very much, but he was my brother, and even when I was a pain in the ass to him, and he was a pain in the ass to me, we were still family, and we loved each other (even if neither would admit it openly)!

Yesterday the kids and I went with our cousin Paul to the Bush, that had brought Scott so many years of happiness ... he loved that land ... many of my fondest memories of Scott involve just walking the trail that winds its way through the maple trees ... he would point out flowers, trees, animal tracks, and any number of other interesting things along the way ... he would, with great joy, talk about what he wanted to do there and the dreams he had for making it his home ... but mostly we would just walk and be with each other enjoying a tiny corner of creation that was his sanctuary.

Yesterday, I felt his absence ... it didn't feel right unlocking the door and wandering through the shop ... it felt odd to tromp through the snow without him ahead or behind ... it just felt weird.

But then, like a gentle breeze, there was a feeling of comfort and certainty that if Scott was anywhere it was there, on the land he loved, and the land that gave him so much joy with his friends, and with his family. The Bush was his refuge and his corner of heaven, and he is still very much there ...

I want to remember Scott like the picture ... smiling, surveying his Bush, and ready to offer a smart assed comment, or a well intentioned tease ... I shared with one of our cousins that I every time I think of Scott, I see him with that damed cock-eyed grin on his face ready to offer some smart assed comment with his eyes twinkling. AND, if you got mad and wanted to say something back, he'd shrug, laugh and say - "yeah, whatever ... just give your head a shake." and he'd go away happy that he bugged you.

He was a pain in the ass ... but he was a fabulous pain in the ass who was there when you needed him, and would never abandon nor forget a friend or family member ... he might not have been famous, rich or powerful, but if the number of phone calls I've gotten in the last 3 days are any indication, he left an impression on the world, that was significant, lasting and simply amazing.

I'm proud to call him my brother ... and I miss him so much ...

Services for Scott will be as follows:

Friday Feb. 11th Visitation at Francis Funeral Chapel in Tavistock,

from 2 to 4, and 7 to 9

At 3:45 on Friday we will hold a Committal Service in the Chapel

then on Saturday the 12th from 2 to 5 we will have a Celebration of Scott's Life

at the Pub Room of the Tavistock Legion with food, beverage and an opportunity

to remember him and raise a toast to his life ...

In the spring, when Mom and Scott are interred at

Lingelbach Cemetary with Dad, we will head to his beloved bush

to hold "One Last Bush Bash for Scottie"

with a bonfire, food, beverages and time

to savour a corner of heaven

and remember two beautiful people,

and celebrate how they've touched our lives.

I've been very blessed in recent weeks by the circle of support and care that has come from my family and my friends, and as I say 'thank you' for that, I also would like to acknowledge that without it, I would not have made it through all that has happened ... I have a fabulous family, and even though it is missing two big pieces right now, my cousins, my aunts and uncles, and my kids have been incredible supports to me ... and my friends who have taken time to call, write and email have made the journey so much easier to face ... thank you one and all !!