It's a 'Walter' kind of day ...

I went to bed last night feeling grumpy ... I woke up today feeling grumpy ... and the last couple of hours, including coffee hasn't helped my mood very much ...

I'm having a Walter kind of day!!! (for those unfamiliar with the mug pictured above, Walter is a comedic creation of ventriliquist Jeff Dunham.)

And today I feel more like Walter than I care to admit ...

The reasons for my mood are wide ranging and diverse ... and I know the only solution is time ...

But it doesn't make it any easier.

The last 18 months of my life have been marked with a variety of struggles and losses that in turn have given rise to grief and sorrow that has left me in an interesting and fascinating place. I can see intellectually WHY I am suffering from various moods and feelings, I can even identify resources that record EXACTLY what it is that I'm feeling and some of the possible reasons for it - but where my intellect fails miserably, is in recognizing that affairs of the heart and soul are things we must live through regardless of what the brain is saying ...

So I can see what's going on, and as I've observed a thousand times in the last year and a half - I can't do a sweet damned thing about it, except hang on and ride the wave!!!

While part of me wishes I could simply skip over ALL of this, another part of me knows that I must journey through this and from that journey I will not only find wholeness and healing, I will be stronger and better equipped to face whatever life may toss my way ... I want to skip over this stuff because it is SO hard some days, and I really do hate having a "Walter" kind of day ...

Alas, such is the vagaries of life ... and fortunately tomorrow is another day ...