The Rule of Three ... inspiration from the small things ...

I operate with the rule of three ... that is, if in my reading and my journeying I encounter three distinct and different references to an author or a book, I will go and look it up and see what the Spirit is guiding me to ...

A couple of weeks ago, after hearing about the death of my friend and mentor Indigo, I went to a bookstore in Owen Sound and said the prayer - "okay Lord, give me something to help bring healing to my soul ..." I then entered the store and trusted in the "rule of three", afterall, three is a good Biblical and Theological number, and to be honest - thus far the 'rule of three' hasn't steered me wrong.

I left that day with a copy of Robert Pirsig's 'Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance".

I've read bits and pieces of Pirsig's book along the way ... a few quotations here and there, and a couple of chapters while in Religious Studies at McMaster ... but I've never read the book in its entirety. So, it was a leap of faith to see what the Spirit is guiding me towards with this latest revealing of the 'rule of three'.

This morning visiting over coffee I began to appreciate what the lesson from Pirsig is ...

It's being open to experiencing and celebrating the Holy as found in the small things. It's not a new lesson for me, and it is admittedly one that I have frequently woven into my writings and preaching, but it is nonetheless a lesson worth re-visiting once in awhile.

Often in life we get caught up in the rat race, and the grappling for position and so on, that we forget to enjoy the moment we're standing in. The lesson for me in this, is to realize that the moments that might alter our world view, our life trajectory, or our way of approaching life and faith, are not moments that we can easily identify as they are happening. Sometimes the most earth-shattering moments in our lives are identifiable ONLY in hind-sight.

Today I realize that what I miss most about my mom and my brother are the little things ... gestures, facial expressions, and even habits that might pass un-noticed, until the life that embraced them is gone ... then the little things become significant.

Likewise, as we move through life, we meet and cross paths with dozens of people every week, and once in a while as we look back in life, we realize that a seemingly incidental moment of interaction may radically alter the direction of our forward momentum ... when we look back and consider that moment, perhaps months and months later, we can see then how important it was. But as the interaction unfolded, we might be in a very different place, and may fail to see how significant this moment really is.

Pirsig took a simple motorcycle trip and turned it into a profound literary work that has touched hundreds of thousands of other lives ... but I doubt, as he kick started his bike that first day, that he envisioned the impact he was about to bring into being ... and that may be the point ... we just don't know what is happening around us that will be important and earth shattering, and what might be insignificant and forgettable, and too often in the moment we confuse the two. Perhaps we would be better off, living and savouring and enjoying the moment and letting the value be determined later ...

If you read ONE book this year - make it this one !!

Canadian author, activist and theologian Tim Huff is no stranger to this blog ... I have used his previous books frequently in book in my preaching, and in my reflections on our call to social justice and social action.

Through the Advent Season, I had two sermons (December 5th and December 12th) that made mention of his reflections offered in his previous book "Bent Hope".

Earlier, while I worked for the Brandon Homelessness Committee in Brandon, I met Tim on two occassions. Once in Brandon when he came as keynote speaker at the Youth For Christ annual banquet, and the second time when he was one of participants and presenters at the StreetLevel conference in Ottawa. Both times I was struck by the earthiness of his reflections and the profound depth of his theology which is forged in the shadowy corners of the urban streets where Tim lives and embraces his ministry where angels and 'good' church people might fear to tread.

Tim says it like it is, and challenges his readers to re-consider some of our long held notions about society, poverty, church and everything that these entail.

By sharing the stories of those folks he has met along the way, Tim offers a Gospel-based reflection on how we can live our faith day to day beyond the comfort of our Churches and pews. Both 'Bent Hope' and this new book 'Dancing with Dynamite' are rich sources of material for preaching, reflection and more importantly spiritual meditation.

Tim's words offer simple, powerful and profound challenges to the reader. As I read his words through the journey of Holy Week, I couldn't help but smile at the thought that like Jesus himself, Tim is taking simple every day examples to illustrate and highlight the calling of faith we share. From the hard streets of Toronto Tim speaks a truth about living and sharing our faith beyond our familiar and comfortable pews ... Tim wants us to remember those who live and lurk in the shadowy places, and who need to hear the Gospel, and have their bellies, minds, hearts and souls fed physically and spiritually.

Like the prophets of old, who came down out of the mountains shouting "Thus says the Lord," Tim steps up and using the uncomfortable reality of streets we would otherwise ignore manages to proclaim the prophetic voice of old, while whispering a contemporary challenge: "What would Jesus do?"

If you read only ONE book this year, I recommend HIGHLY "Dancing with Dynamite" by Toronto author Tim Huff ... you won't be disappointed !

Blogger Connections ...

Today, I had lunch in Toronto with a new friend that I met via facebook thanks to my friendship with Pastor Blake, the brilliant mind behind one of my favourite Blogs. The Laughing Pastor was first pointed out to me by a Congregant who claimed I was writing it under an assumed name ... over the last few years Blake has wrestled with some big issues, and continued to live and preach a message of joy and laughter that stands boldly in the dark places of our world and proclaims the certainty that not only is God present, but God pours out abundant and joy-filled grace upon us without hesitation!!

Though we've yet to meet in person, I consider Pastor Blake a good friend ... we've spoken via email, texts, and phone calls ... we've travelled a road with many twists and turns, and more than a few ups and downs ... along the way, he's inspired me, challenged me, and left me laughing inspite of tears that have come ...

Today I sat down with a long time friend of Blake's who was visiting Toronto and wanted to meet for lunch ... over lunch Bonnie presented me with a beautiful Cross made in Mexico and bought as a gift to me from my friend and fellow blogger Blake!!

Over our meal we talked about life and recent deaths we've both experienced, the challenges facing the Church and ourselves, and we as we talked, I realized how small a planet we inhabit ... we truly live in a global village which gets smaller with each new technology ... today, the Church has the potential to engage in new forms of ministry using those technologies if it can overcome the fear that accompanies the arrival of something new ...

Today, in addition to being appreciative of having folks like Blake and Bonnie as friends, I also appreciate being in a place with people who value and actively encourage the use of Blogs, Facebooks, Web Pages and other new technologies to help spread the Word !! Over a Century ago, the building housing St John's United Church was opened by Egerton Ryerson himself, and since I learned that, I have wondered why ... maybe today the answer is being revealed ... the innovator, Ryerson wanted to lay his 'blessing' on a church community that would not only survive may set backs and challenges, but would prosper in the face of adversity, and would then live the Resurrection by BOLDLY and COURAGEOUSLY explore new ways and means of BEING CHURCH !!

They say 'the proof is in the pudding' ... today I think a taste revealed the pudding to be sweet indeed !!!

THANKS BLAKE, for your friendship and for the inspiration you continue to share!!

My Dad !!

More oldies turned up tonight in an old box of OLD, OLD, photos ... fun to see dad in new and wonderful ways !!

A December Wedding ... 1953, Lingelbach EUB Church

Was looking through a box of old photos and unearthed these ... from mom and dad's wedding on December 19th 1953 at Lingelbach EUB Church and The Fryfogel Inn, both on 7&8 Hwy between Shakespeare and New Hamburg.

The Prophetic and the Comedic ...

In his auto-biography "Last Words" the late George Carlin quoted himself from an interview in the Los Angeles Herald-Examiner where he noted the role of the comic as a "potential social critic, a philosopher and an evangelist."

As I read those words on the eve of Holy Week, I found myself thinking about the many comics who have inadvertently shaped my ministry and my view of the world ... the list is quite long, but some of the individuals who figure prominently include Carlin, John Stewart, Stephen Colbert, Canada's own Rick Mercer, and the late, great and largely unparalleled Bill Hicks.

These folks have the courage and the ability to address issues that mainstream commentators are reluctant to even acknowledge much less poke fun at ... Over and over, I find meaning and direction in the 'comedy' of folks like Carlin, Hicks and the others ... they hold up the sacred cows of our culture, our religion, and our society and ask the tough questions we might otherwise be afraid to ask.

The end result is, while we're laughing we suddenly have the realization that we are laughing most heartily at ourselves ... and that is both enlightening and uncomfortable simultaneously.

This Holy Week, I think a revisit of the dvd of Dogma which stars Carlin in the role of Cardinal Glick, might be in order ... and in the coming weeks having the courage to speak and reflect prophetically with the guidance and inspiration of people like Bill Hicks, George Carlin and other modern jesters who hold an uncomfortable mirror up before us would be apt ...

Today I will say clearly that the church ignores the prophetic and the comedic at its peril.

Today's wish ...

I wish ...

I wish I could pick up the phone and tell my mom, my brother and Indigo about the wild dream I just had ...

I wish ...

I wish I could hear their voices and discover that the last few months have been nothing more than a bad dream ...

I wish ...

Indigo Sweetwater: like the ripples in a pond ...

It's funny, in almost 20 years of ordained ministry, I have presided over dozens of memorial and funeral services ranging from the very young, to the very old, and every age in between ... Over and over, I've been struck by the breadth of impact each life has had regardless of its length.

People who have lived into a second century leave a profound legacy of family, and friends to truly celebrate their lives and give thanks for the many years they've had together.

Families who have bid adieu to young ones, gather to mourn the loss of what might have been, but simultaneously to affirm the preciousness of what has already been.

Regardless of the length we spend upon this planet, we touch the lives of those who we chose to surround ourselves with. We are, like a Jewish writer once observed, the very finger prints of God, leaving our impressions upon every surface we touch, even if that touch is simply fleeting.

This week, I've been amazed at the tributes to my friend Indigo Sweetwater, who passed away too suddenly, and too soon from a recurrence of cancer. At first I felt a pang of jealousy at the tributes being offered by people who openly lamented "I never met her in person, but ..." But then, I realized that there was more than enough of Indigo to go around.

She was truly a person who was larger than life ... her passions and enthusiasms knew NO BOUNDS, and her interests lead her to some absolutely fascinating places both in the real world and in cyber-space. AND, wherever she went she left an indelible impression on the lives of those she touched.

It brought laughter and tears to my eyes to hear about her "parcels" sent unannounced to her new-found friends. I recalled a time when our post man came walking up to our front door with a small blue and cream coloured suit case in hand. I opened the door to meet him and asked:

"You moving in?"

With a stern face, perhaps to keep from laughing, he handed me the suitcase with a terse, "Um, no ..." then he shook his head and walked away.

It was of course a parcel from Indigo to the kids ... and, it was a scenario that was played out again a few short months later when a small green suitcase arrived in the same way.

And then there was the globe: taped, labelled, and stuffed FULL of treasures gleaned from her travels ... rubber maid tubs sent by bus and labelled with some picturesque paper doing far more than simply listing the 'to' and 'from' ... over and over, parcels bursting with 'treasures' arrived unexpectedly - usually when Indigo sensed you just needed a pick me up - and the phone call to thank her was punctuated by her uproarious laughter as you recounted the tale of arrival.

I think the heartiest laughter though came when she was told about the arrival of the first suitcase ...

Along the way, Indigo also helped teach and affirm some important life lessons. The loss of her young son many years ago forged a compassionate heart that knew life could be cruel sometimes ... The counsel I remember most clearly from her was the repeated affirmation that we should never engage in the folly of 'the woulda, shoulda, coulda's'.

"Look forward" was the advice she offered, usually after listening to the inevitable rant I could offer ... "look forward" and "stop dwelling on the past" she would say with a dismissiveness that was anything but dismissive.

She knew the journey well ... and she wasn't afraid to tell you when you'd wandered off the path and were wallowing in some bramble filled pit of despair.

But she ALWAYS did it with a love that embraced and enveloped you ... it was just the way she was.

The bottom line was that Indigo really didn't care whether you liked her or not. She liked herself, and she liked you and the rest was truly and utterly IRRELEVANT. Take her or leave her, she didn't care - she'd be there when you smartened up and came back ... and she'd accept you like you'd never left (unless of course you really pissed her off ... thankfully I never fell afoul of her in that way!!).

I will also dearly miss the annual Birthday parcels and prezzies that have arrived over the last decade and a half since I first met Indigo and learned that we shared a common Scorpio Birthday on October 31st ... this year just won't be the same without her around!!

Today, I've had some time to think about what losing Indigo means in my life, and have come to realize that even though she is gone from this physical plane, she now remains a formidable force in the lives of those who knew her on a spiritual plane ... she embodies the teachings the Nuxalkmc elders offered over tea in the CE Hall of the old Emmanuel Church almost two decades ago when they said "when we die, we join the Spirit World, which is as far away as our next breath and as close as the wind on our cheeks!!"

Today, Indigo has returned to the energy that is the cosmos, but like ripples on a pond her influence and impact is still felt among those of us truly blessed to have called her a friend, either in person, or from a distant (to Indigo a friend was a friend and that was ALL that mattered).

While our loss pales in comparison to her partner and spouse David and her beloved and cherished adult son Yancey, together we mourn and celebrate a remarkable woman, an amazing friend, and a potent force for ALL the good that life has to offer.

Thanks for gracing my life, and that of my family with your friendship Auntie Indigo - we will never forget you, and we will never stop loving you !!

We know you aren't very far away ... Shalom!!

To read another beautiful and eloquent tribute to Indigo click here to visit the Blog "The Adventures of Matt, Kara, Hunter and Cavan in Faro Yukon"

Today ... a step towards equilibrium ...

I started it on Saturday after my "shopping trip" with Ms H and three of her friends to Toronto ... to be clear, it wasn't really a shopping trip for me, it was more like that school trips that leave a bus driver to fend for themselves somewhere while the kids are having fun. I was the bus driver, and Yorkdale Mall was the desitination ... fortunately, the book store, food court and electronic stores had more than enough to keep me busy while Ms H and her posse roamed the mall.

Along the way, I browsed some books in the bargain section, checked out the latest summer reading, perused the various titles in the religion, spirituality and new age sections, and then bought a couple of paperbacks in the hope I might be able to regain my lost hobby ...

It has been MONTHS since I read more than a few pages of anything ... even newspaper articles have been a chore ... I find that I read a page in a book, then look back and wonder "what did I just read?" and find the page I JUST READ unfamiliar ... If I can't read a page, how could I expect to read a whole chapter, much less an entire book???

I've missed reading.

A LOT.

My pile of 'to read' books has grown beyond a single pile, and the list of titles hasn't managed to entice me beyond idly flipping through them from time to time ... I've even tried to INTENTIONALLY sit down and start reading to no avail ... but somehow, something changed this weekend, and I FINALLY was able to not only read more than a few paragraphs, but entire chapters, and then this morning, just before lunch I FINISHED the modest paperback I had bought on Saturday !!

It felt good to close the book and put it on the table knowing I had actually read it.

It was and is the first book I've read in its entirety since October 27th 2010, when I finished the latest Kathy Reich murder mystery novel ...

Today I feel like I've taken a significant step toward some modicum of normalcy !!

... and it feels great !!!

Savouring a Sabbath ...

Today started grey and VERY rainy ... as I laid in bed with the window open, the 'whoosh' of the occassional car or truck passing was actually quite soothing ... the pitter patter of the rain outside gave a relaxing pulse to the start of the day.

I lounged in bed and for the first time in weeks, actually was able to read more than a few pages of a book ... after the second chapter, I decided to make some coffee and more fully enjoy my day off ...

I wish I could offer something earth shattering, but today is all about just lounging around and simply enjoying a lazy day at home ...

The rain has stopped (for now) and the sun is trying to shine ... the dogs are sleeping ... and the house is relatively quiet ... all in all, it's a good Sabbath rest ... and it is what I need right now ...

A good read ... a better calling !!

I started this blog on Thursday January 19th 2006, after having blogged on the old United Online web site ... my intent when I started the Prairie Preacher was to explore the ways in which the Church can offer its ministry in new forms ... to my thinking then, and now, the internet and the many online resources from Twitter to Facebook have vast untapped potential as places to engage and share in our life and ministry as people, clergy and Church.

My intent when I started Prairie Preacher was to share the happenings in my life, to provide a place for my family to keep up on the things Noahkila, Ms H, and Beetle are up to, and to show a different face of the Church that removes the silly deification that places clergy on an ivory pedestal. I wanted Prairie Preacher to be a place where real issues were raised and discussed, a place where real happenings are laid on the table and reflected upon and most importantly, where the truth about the Church was offered in an honest, upfront and unblinking way.

Along the way, I've struggled with my vocational calling, we've journeyed into the darkness that came following the Church fire in Minnedosa, I've moved twice, been fired once, experienced the rejection of the Church writ large, worked in another denomination, worked outside of the church, and struggled with real life issues including the deaths of my mother, my brother, and now two close friends ... Prairie Preacher, has over the last five years been my sanctuary and my refuge where I've been able to wrestle honestly and openly and perhaps most significantly, UNAPOLOGETICALLY with the real life issues and struggles I've encountered along the way.

Looking back, there are some posts here that I am deeply proud of, a few I am in retrospect slightly embarrassed by, and a couple that I have pulled after further reflection and feedback from trusted friends. But what strikes me most of all, as I looked back on the last four months since mom's death on January 11th, and my subsequent silence here, is the importance that Prairie Preacher has played in my journey ...

In those moments when I've considered shutting this blog down, or when I've found myself struggling to put into words what I've been feeling and experiencing, I find comfort in the legacy that this site has embodied. I can go back and re-read postings from my past, and see in a tangible way how much healing and growth I've experienced. I can read the comments of friends and strangers and see clearly the support I've had, and the importance of continuing to speak up and speak out about issues that otherwise would linger at the margins of our collective consciousness.

This week, as I began reading the book pictured above, I became aware of how appropriate the simple choice of the word 'preacher' in my blog title was ... Over and over Lischer stresses the importance of Clergy reclaiming the VOCATION of preacher in their work. More than just part of the work we are called to do and share, PREACHING is central to everything we are about in ministry.

Preaching means taking the Gospel and sharing it by word and deed with the world around us. Preaching means wrestling with the real life issues of our world and our lives, and making sense of God's calling within that context. Preaching means speaking up and speaking out, even when the world and the bureaucracy demands acquiescence and silence. Preaching means more than standing up in a pulpit and sharing a warm pink fuzzy theology.

Preaching is the very heart of what we, as ministers are called to do and be. And looking back, this blog, has over the last five years engaged in a preaching that has moved through some deep and dark moments of life ... a preaching that has tried to offer an honest and unrelenting critical reflection of the Church and its ministry in the modern world and encouraged a rethink of who and what we are.

The very future of the Church depends on the willingness of clergy and lay leaders to wrestle with the perception of hypocrisy and irrelevancy held by many who no longer darken the doors our physical buildings, yet hunger for something spiritual ... they want to hear honesty and openness from the Church, and they want to know that their concerns are not only heard, but heeded and that the Church takes seriously its call to PREACH the Gospel in its fullness.

Lischer is one of those who gets this calling, and he wants others to get it too. Five years ago, I started blogging because I for one, take seriously the need for the Church to reach out to the margins of our society where this calling needs to be offered most urgently.

Preaching the Gospel to the margins means dealing honestly and openly with the bullshit that has sadly been too much a part of the Church in recent years, and I for one have come to realize the importance of actively engaging in that form of preaching, and this place -this blog has been one means of embodying that ministry of preaching, and for that I will be neither ashamed, repentant nor intimidated. This is my place, my voice, and my preaching.

And the journey continues ...

Found Treasures ...

One of the hardest things I've had to do lately is the process of sorting and cleaning at mom's ... with almost fifty years of accumulated mementos, treasures and trash ... it is a long process that had barely began when Scott died suddenly, and that has been complicated by his passing ... Every time I step in the door, I not only have to wrestle with the memories and legacy of Mom, I now feel Scott's presence too, and have to deal with things that for 40 years were off limits ...

Every time I pick up something in Scott's room, I hear his voice in my ear: "what the hell are you doing?" ... then I feel a wave of guilt that I'm touching my big brothers stuff, and sooner or later I'm gonna get pounded for it ... old patterns die hard, and for the first twenty years of my life the cat and mouse game of touching, borrowing and retrieving one another's possessions usually resulted in me getting a 'brotherly beatin' ... one Scott would maintain I deserved.

The last few visits to Mom's has been harder because my sorting is now reaching back into my childhood and Scott's ... I'm find the toys and mementos from our childhood ... a drawer of matchbox and hot wheels cars that I dared to 'borrow' now sits forlorn with Scott's absence ... the stuffed animals that were once filled with life through our play recalls Scott, Mom and their creator Grandma Ankenmann ... the drawings and cards we gave one another recall a simpler time when life glowed with love and seemingly limitless potential ... over and over I find myself revisiting a time and place before the stormy perils of adulthood broke over us and battered us and our lives ... a simpler time when Mom's word was law (backed up by the wooden spoon on top of the fridge) and Scott was my big brother who and would readily pound me for infractions perceived and sometimes real, and yet filled me with respect and awe ...

Over and over I find myself recalling the many moments that helped forge me into the man I am today ... some good ... some not so good ... but all of them cherished recollections that are part of my heritage and history and my present reality ...

Today I had to pause when I discovered tucked in the back of a closet my baby shoes, my first little red slippers, and a card from the Ladies Group at the now defunct Lingelbach United Church (or as it was called then Lingelbach EUB Church) celebrating my safe arrival, along with a Centennial Dollar Bill ... over and over I find myself smiling with tears in my eyes at the many treasures I keep uncovering in my personal archeological dig ... mom's house is full of memories and mementos ... and each time I make the drive and spend a few hours exploring them, I reconnect with my past and reacquaint myself with my family story ... and as hard as it is, it is good!

mom would insist that we should just get along ...

Open the flood gates ...

Hmmm ... I can point to a dozen or more cars and trucks in this picture and tell you what kind it is, whether it is a hot wheels or a matchbox, and whether I or my brother had it ... and I might be able to tell you EXACTLY where it is right now ... such is the legacy of our childhood and the many hours we both spent playing with our matchbox, hot wheels, corgi and other cars along with our lego cities ...

Neither Scott or I really left our hot wheels behind ... Scott amassed an impressive and formidable collection in the years since we left our childhood behind. The dozens of tiny cars and trucks still on their cardboard backings may represent an wise investment on his part.

Today though, as I was wondering through a Zellers store, finding myself in the aisle lined with dozens upon dozens of these little cars left me teary-eyed ... for the last twenty years or so, every time I found myself in front of the hot wheels display I would look for interesting cars that I could buy for myself, or buy to send to Scott. Over the years the kids and I have sent many cars to Uncle Scott for his birthday and for Christmas ...

Today as I stood in front of the display I found myself crying ... learning about Indigo's untimely passing contributed to my feelings, but I know it was simply a natural extension of ALL I've been through ... and I don't really care ... sometimes when tears come, you just have to let them flow, and today standing in front of the hot wheels display was one of those moments ...

Good Bye my friend ...

Today started with a "disturbance in the force" for lack of a better word ... I wanted to go to Stratford but something was telling me not to go ... so, I went and got a coffee and drove to Owen Sound instead ... I stopped to chat with a colleague and friend along the way, and as I got back into the car I got a text telling me that Indigo Sweetwater, a friend, a mentor and an incredible person had died ...

Indigo and I didn't always see eye to eye, and her propensity to tell it like she saw it, and say what was on her mind regardless of the consequences was at times uncomfortable, but her counsel was always timely, seldom wrong and usually ignored at one's peril ... she was above all else and amazing friend.

My strongest memory of her was from our time in Bella Coola while she was serving as the community health nurse on reserve ... she would stroll in the back door with panache saying I'm here for lunch darling!! What are we having?"

That was how Indigo lived her life ... on her terms, and without apology. And you had to love her for it ... actually you didn't have to love her for it ... she didn't care one way or another - she didn't care if you liked her or not ... she liked herself and that was ALL she needed ... that and her family, especially her partner David ... who is missing her terribly today.

I can't even begin to put into words the sorrow I feel today at learning that Indigo is gone ... on one level it simply adds to the losses I've experienced in recent weeks, but on another level, this is simply too much to bear ... Indigo was an amazing person, an awesome nurse, and an incredible friend ... she will be missed by her son Yancey, her partner David and a circle of friends that stretches far and wide ...

Rest in peace my friend ... today my tears are for you and the end of an incredible legacy that you've left those of us blessed to know and love you ... Good Bye Indigo - you WILL be missed !

For another tribute to this amazing woman -(click here) The Blog 'The House' has two entries about Indigo ...