The Merry Go Round of Denial ...

The process Friedmas identifies may be best summarized in the attitude that says erroneously - "Whew !! Now that she's gone, everything will be ALL better ..." and things can return to the comfort of the status quo ...

The only problem is that when a system has been riddled with anxiety, fear and conflict, the problem is seldom the cast out individual who is being scapegoated for all that ails the situation ... instead, casting out the leader, or the outsider, or the newcomer merely allows the Merry Go Round of denial to continue to spin, and at times pick up speed ...

Personally it amazes me how many so-called leaders in Christian Denominations will place in the hands of thier parishoners resources from groups like AA and AlAnon that speak so accurately and eloquently about breaking the cycles of denial in pursuit of wholeness and health, yet when those same toxic cycles appear in the lives of our congregations we chose to close our eyes and let the cycles continue ... It's sad ... but fortunately, there are voices like Friedman's that are whispering to us that there are better ways than what we've been experiencing ...

The only way to stop the very non-Merry Merry Go Round of Denial is by recognizing it ... Friedman speaks a truth:

The displacement of blame on leaders may be even more salient in churches and synagogue than in the political area. Over the last ten to fifteen years I have witnessed a tremendous increase in the collective reactivity of religious congregations to thier ministers, irrespective of gender or belief. As America's emotional regression has deepened, the clergy of every denomination have been increasingly thrust into a panicky national game of musical chairs, as each minister leaves one disappointed congregation only to be eagerly snatched up by another in the false hope that this new one will be better than the last. The former minister, in the meantime, has now found a new opportunity to be a displacemet focus for a congregation that has become disaffected with its previous minister, whois presently about to take the place of the first, the anxiety still unabated and the focused issues still unresolved ...

And on and on it goes ...

The only way to break the cycle and stop this foolish Merry Go Round is by HELPING congregations deal with this crap ... otherwise ministers are picked up and cast aside like tissues ... and congregations continue on unchecked, unchallenged and incredibly unhealthy ...

And ALL of it happens in the Name of God ...

Bet God is proud of us all !!!