A good story that one ...

I know somewhere in a box is a book of short stories by First Nations' author Thomas King entitled, "One Good Story, that one ..."

The title story has a Native elder, or is it the Trickster, hood-winking white anthropologists by telling them a reworked creation story ... as story that is told with a chuckled "One Good story, that one ..."

Story telling is an important feature of every human culture ... long lonely nights were passed by sitting around the hearth and sharing the stories passed from person to person, and generation to generation ... children everywhere love to cuddle in a lap and hear a story ... much of what happens over coffee or tea is story telling ...

Story is central to our experience as human beings ... and vital to the positing of our lives and existence within the broader context of the world ... without story we wouldn't understand how or even where we fit in ... we need to story to define us and under gird our personal world with meaning ...

Lately though I've come to realize the power the story our Pain-Body spins has over us ...

I remember presiding at a funeral once where the departed was being praised as a saint, or at least someone who stood in close proximity to that designation ... the looks of confusion in the assembled congregation increased with each passing sentence that further underscored the wonderful attributes and their many positive features ... I had heard of not speaking ill of the dead, but reaching into the realm of the fictitious was a bit hard to take, for me and for those gathered ...

The reset was hit when one voice challenged the prevailing and glowing commendation being sputtered from the pulpit ... the observation that embraced the truth about the dearly departed brought laughter and most importantly RELIEF to all assembled including a family who had been wondering if they could have been SO wrong about their lost member ... the words - "are you sure they're talking about ------ ?? It doesn't sound like them ..." whispered a much needed truth that dispelled the fiction being spoken ...

I've thought of that day many times in the ensuing years ... I've always strived for honesty in regards to ministry, particularly in the context of funerals and memorials ... I try to call it like I see it ... but in reading Eckhart Tolle, I've come to realize not just the centrality of the story, but the ferocity by which our egos will cling to the fiction that fuels the pain body and feeds (negatively) the pain body despite ample evidence to the contrary ...

In recent days I've had several conversations and exchanges with people who have closed their eyes to the fictional story they are clinging to and allowing to define their lives ... one person was honest, yet un-enlightened in exclaiming - "this is the story I HAVE to tell myself right now, because I can't handle any other version ..."

Others are more subtle in their desperate clinging to their respective stories ... sadly, until we (and I include myself in this) - until WE stop feeding the fictional stories that renew the pain-body and in turn fuel the ego (even if negatively), we will never break free of the toxicity that those stories represent ... close our eyes to the truth will not change a falsity into a truth, and it will not bring healing, wholeness nor the awakening we need and deserve ...

Letting ourselves be defined by a narrow story premised on a falsehood serves no one ... false stories are the fodder of coffee shop gossip and serve only to create a tempest in a tea pot that in an ideal and healthy context would hurt no one ... but regretably, our world and the majority of the citizens around us aren't prepared to break free !!!

Regrettably, most stories told and re-told and passed on, are false creations of our ego, that seek only to trap us in our wallowing pain-body, and that fail to set us free by embracing THE TRUTH !!!

The truth is not just a story we tell ourselves ... it is the indisputable outcome of a healthy story told free of a weak and insecure ego. In the face of a healthy story, the unhealthy stories crumble in the face of the truth, leaving us to shore up crumbling walls, or to walk free ...

Closing our eyes and stoppering our ears to the truth and clinging to the illusionary story we've woven for our selves, pretending (perhaps not even consciously) that our little safe world is 'OKAY' and the story we tell ourselves is ALL there is helps no one ... to open our eyes and our souls to the NOW and to live present to our existence requires setting ourselves free of the story and detaching ourselves from the drama we've created by saying - "this is what is ..." Too often, what is is simply and uttely a lie we tell ourselves to maintain the illusion of safety and comfort and to avoid our fears ...

Until we accept that we deserve better our story will continue and we will live those lies, and feed our ego by fueling our pain body ... Looking into the mirror that stands before us and accepting the TRUTH is never easy ... but is needed for an awakened, a whole and a healthy life ...

The choice is ours to make it ... there may be two options, but there is only ONE choice ... and it begins with the truth ...

s

Sometimes ...

.

... life is like a house of cards, and we can

ONLY

pray that there is no wind, and no one shakes the table!!

.

Here's hoping !!

.

Tonight's DVD Selection ...

I'm not sure how to describe this film ... I watched it last week and thoroughly enjoyed it ... so tonight I'm popping it in the dvd player for a second, or it could be the third viewing ...

With Rowan Atkinson as the Vicar, Kirstin Scott Thomas as his wife Gloria, and Maggie Smith as the new Housekeeper Grace, it starts with a strong cast ... throw in some marvelous black humour, and more than a few twists and turns and you have a fabulous movie, that is well worth watching.

"Missed it by THAT much ..."

The other night, a conversation with a friend suggested that we go to see the new Get Smart movie ... I'm glad I did.

It is a fun movie that not only honours the original series, but recreates the whole Get Smart universe with delightful and unexpected twists that nod at the comic silliness of the TV series, while introducing a whole new generation to the eccentricities of Max, agent 99, Chief, Siegfried and the characters who make Get Smart just plain fun ... ALL the old lines were there, the shoe phone, the sunbeam and the cone of silence, both old and new make an appearance, and Alan Arkin was BRILLIANT as Chief, and Steven Carell was the PERFECT choice to play Max for the 21st Century !!!

It's NOT a film that will be remembered as a classic, but it is a film that is just entertaining and FUN, and sometimes that just what you need ... a little bit of silly fun !!!

Coming Home for Home-coming ...

This week is filled with activity in Minnedosa, as the community celebrates its 125th Anniversary with a week long Homecoming celebration that has seemingly drawn community alumni from far and wide ...

For me it is a bitter week ... I no longer feel welcome in this community ... and for me there is no longer a home to go back to ... so, I will avoid the "festivities" and not pour salt in the wounds Minnedosa has rendered upon me ...

Thankfully though, I was able to lay out a welcome mat to a marvelous couple who introduced themselves to us five years ago one summer afternoon ...

We were busy packing the van to head out that evening for our trip to BC when we heard a male voice ask Noahkila if "he lived here?"

Noahkila answered, "Yes,"

And the voice replied "I lived here too when I was a little boy ..."

The voice belonged to the grandson of the man who built our house back in 1904 ... he and his wife were visiting Minnedosa ... and asked if they could come in and have a peek at the old house he long ago called home ... We eagerly agreed, and warmly welcomed him "HOME", John's family lived in the house we've called home for the first 35 plus years of its existence, then three other families owned before it came into our hands in 2000 ...

This summer John and Blanche called and said they were coming out for Homecoming and wondered if they could stop and have another look around the old house ... we once again agreed, but this time we invited them to come and stay while they were visiting Minnedosa ... So this week I have been privileged to host John and Blanche and thier daughter while they are here for some of the homecoming events.

I told them - "this house is OUR house ... make yourself at home ... "

In return he has shared his stories and recollections of this majestic old home, and has repeatedly said how much he appreciates being able to spend some time back "HOME" for the first time in close to 65 years.

For me, it is an positive ending on a long, dark and very difficult chapter of my life ... in the spring of 2000 when I first came to Minnedosa, I fell in love with the town, the church and this house - in that order ... I've lost the first two ... and we are reluctantly giving up the latter ... but at least this week we've closed a circle ... as our chapter in the history of this home draws to a close and we begin to slip into the sands of time, I can smile at the knowledge that for a brief moment, we welcomed John home, and through the simple gift of hospitality, allowed him to revisit an important place to his life, as we struggle to say our farewelles to the grand old dame as well ...

I'm glad that I was able to offer a moment of hospitality and welcome the way I was taught - without condition and freely with abundance of care and love ... maybe Minnedosa will figure it out for itself one day ... and it will truly lay out the welcome mat for EVERYONE in stead of just the select few !!!

More importantly, John and Blanche and their daughter have been gracious guests ... it was privilege and an honour to host them ... and it helped remind me that ultimately how you welcome people in and treat them is an indication of the heart and soul that lies within ... I was raised to be hospitable to all, and to welcome in the stranger, for in the process they may become friends ...

Our time in Minnedosa will end with some positives ... and this week is definitely one of them ...

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It's ABOUT TIME !!!!

In 1959, 12 year old Lynne Harper was murdered not far from Clinton Ontario ... 14 year old Steven Truscott would be arrested, tried, sentenced to hang, then imprisoned for 10 years for the crime ... he maintained his innocence ... he tried in vain to be acquitted ... in 1969 he was paroled ...

The evidence that Mr Truscott was the wrong man is compelling ... I remember as a grade six student at Bedford School in Stratford Ontario hearing the story of Steven Truscott for the first time ... I didn't think he did it ... I remember talking to my mom about it later and she said - 'your dad never thought he did it either ...' (Dad was a fresh new recruit with the OPP when the Truscott story began)

I still don't think he did it ... and in 2007 the Ontario Court of Appeal finally acquitted Mr Truscott of the crime ...

Today the Ontario Government offered Mr Truscott $6.5 million in compensation (see the story on CBC.CA - Steven Truscott to get $6.5 Million in compensation)

All I can say is - IT'S ABOUT TIME !!!! This compensation should have happened LONG ago ...

I also have to wonder though: for almost 50 years Mr Truscott has lived with the weight of being THE "Steven Truscott" who went to jail at 14, and spent 11 years in jail followed by FOUR decades of being dogged with the question mark of "did he do it?" - and he is awarded $6.5 Million ... this contrasts sharply with Mr Arar who was awarded $12.5 Million for 11 months in a Syrian prison ... makes you wonder what the cost of Justice really is ...

It's a start any way ... Congratulations Mr Truscott - you deserve not a penny less ... and perhaps even more ...

86 and 87 ...

Corporal Brendan Anthony Downey,

a non-combat related death.

.

Pte. Colin William Wilmot

a medic killed by an explosion this morning in Panjwaii district.

... They shall not grow old

as we who are left grow old.

At the going down of the sun

and in the morning,

we will remember them ...

We Will Remember them!!

Lest we forget.

A GOOD Ambition for life:

I found this post card on Post Secret today ... I like this person's life goal ... I'm forty and it sound like a good ambition ...

(click on the post card to see the REST of this week's post secrets)

Fear is a Funny Thing ...

I've come to realize that I not only live in a community filled with fear, I have been surrounded by friends who are motivated and enveloped by fear, (perhaps this has been an unconscious choice of my pain body seeking to feed its story!?) and over the last two years a significant component of my journey to wellness has been about facing, or to use Deida's term - LEANING INTO my Fear.

Fear is a funny thing ...

This morning I searched the word "fear" on my blog and found posting after posting ... as I read back over the long list of postings that made reference to Fear I was struck at how far I had progressed, but more than that, I was struck (perhaps not in a good way) by the number of references that were as a result of the milieu of Fear in which I have been living over the last three years ...

I worked as minister in a Church filled with fear ... people afraid thier past would catch up to them ... people afraid thier little secrets would be spilled out of the safe closet where they were stashed ... people afraid their own short comings and incompetences would be revealed for all to see and thier secret would be lost ... people who were simply afraid of the changes they see around them ... in a place where faith, hope and care should abide, the shackles of FEAR, BITTERNESS and HURT abound ...

I have lived in a community dripping with fear ... fear of change ... fear of doing things in a new way ... fear of the outsider ... fear of people who may be smarter, more capable and more able that themselves ... fear of looking beyond the margins of the safe little valley and seeing the vast world that lies beyond ... in a place of great physical beauty, the nastiness of the petty has prevailed ...

I've served in a Church that is brimming with fear ... fear of the unknown ... fear of technology ... fear of the new ... fear of the visitor and the outsider ... fear of being wrong ... fear of being exposed and vulnerable ... fear of losing the comfortable ... fear of being revealed as posers who fail miserably to live the words that so easily roll from our mouths ... fear of God in a less than helpful way ... fear of not living an adequate life ... in a place that should embody hope and offer an unconditional welcome for ALL there is instead the paralysis of inaction, complacency and excuse making ...

I've lived a life overwhelmed by fear ... fear of not being loved ... fear of being rejected ... fear of not being as capable as people thing ... fear of criticism ... fear of failing ... fear of succeeding ... fear of one's own self ... and most of all - a fear of simply not liking myself ...

And most ominously of all in looking back I have realized that like a magnet, I have drawn to my circle of "friends" people who are living lives equally filled with fear as my own ... those fears have been revealed in hindsight ... blaming everyone else when one's life takes a turn rather than taking responsibility for one's self ... holding to a "STORY" when the evidence is overwhelming that the story is a fiction (hearing a 'friend' say - "it's the story I HAVE to tell myself in order to function ..." is perhaps the most pathetic and desperate proclamation of FEAR one could ever hear ... over and over my 'friends' have stayed silent and gone along with the mob, rather than face the fear of risking something in the name of change, friendship, care or even justice ...

Over and over I can find in the lives of those around me points where their fear has overwhelmed them, and rather than moving forward, they have chosen to run backwards. It's the old adage - "the devil we know is better than the devil we don't know ..." the comfort of what we have known and experienced is more appealing in the face of fear, than moving forward and taking the chance of LEANING INTO your fear ...

If I've learned NOTHING ELSE from the last three years, I've learned that my worst fears haven't really been that bad ... In many ways I feel like Shakespeare's Shylock ... I've had pound after pound of flesh stripped from me ... and even in the moments that it seems horrible and as bleak and dark as it can be ... a flicker of light breaks through ... and hope remains ... I can stand with my back straight and say - "I am no longer afraid ... you've done your worst and I'm still here ... I'm still breathing ... I'm still alive ... and ... I'm stronger for it !!!"

I've easily said things like:

One does not discover new lands

without consenting to lose sight of the shore

for a very long time ...- Andre Gide

and

Twenty years from now
you will be more disappointed
by the things that you didn't do
than by the ones you did do.
So throw off the bowlines.
Sail away from the safe harbor.
Catch the trade winds in your sails.
Explore.
Dream.
Discover.
------------------------------------------------
- Mark Twain

I've even encouraged others with these quotations ... but applying them to my own life has proven to be more of a challenge that I care to admit to myself ... It's easy to say - "Let go of the shore ..." it's harder to do ... The instinct of survival and self-preservation says - "HOLD ON TIGHT!!"

Perhaps it has been fortunate that the warm and welcoming community of The Church, Minnedosa, and even my circle of 'friends' stomped on my fingers the way they did and set me adrift ... I may not have let go otherwise ...

But as I continue to drift in the vast unknown that I currently find myself in, I've come to realize that in tallying all of the 'losses' I've experienced, they may not be losses at all ... they are simply what they are ... turnings of life ... events along the way that are neither positive nor negative ...

From this, I've learned that the greatest fear we will EVER face in life is simply the fear of change and of the unknown (As a wise man once said - "we have nothing to fear, but fear itself!!") ...

I've reflected on this fear of fear previously, and as I re-read my own thoughts I've come to appreciate how strong THAT fear was within me ... change and the unknown represents letting go of the shore and setting one's self free to drift ... I can see around me many who are simply paralyzed by thier fear and afraid of letting go of the certainty of what is ... failing to let go means they are NOT open to the possibility of what might be and to the potential of what COULD HAPPEN ... instead they cling in fear to what they know, and lash out at any one who is percieved as a threat to that ...

I could even cite examples of this by name ... identify the "good" citizens around me who have deluded themselves that it is okay to lash out in fear because they have "the best interests" of their church, their community, or even their faith in mind ... so blinded by their fear, they can not see the inconsistency and hypocrisy in themselves ... and so afraid of owning their inadequacies, they MUST seek to destroy the one they deem a threat to disrupting thier comfortable little world instead of owning their pain body and breaking free of the ingnorance and blindness that has hemmed them in ...

Today I look around me ... and I realize that there is nothing to fear, except fear it's self ... losing sight of the shore is not about facing the storms in the unknown ... it's about simply facing the unknown, and trusting in the journey itself ...

Letting go of the shore does mean getting ready to face storms that may well be out THERE somewhere ... but even as the storm breaks and in the darkness I face the fear of the unknown - the fear of fear - IN THAT moment I will remember a quotation I posted before that says simply:

I'm not afraid of storms,
for I'm learning how
to sail my ship.
- Louise May Alcott

Today I'll try to be like Captain Dan in Forrest Gump ... when the storm comes (and I've faced a few already), I'll lash myself to the mast, lean into my fears and at the top of my lungs yell:

"IS THAT THE BEST YOU GOT ????"

... and when the storm passes ... there will be a beautiful vista spreading before me ... I will once again raise my sails and catch the breeze and see where the winds might carry me ... I will trust, not in what I know, for these things are transient and illusionary, but rather I will trust in THIS MOMENT - the NOW in which I find myself, and I will in that moment (this moment) know that I am alive, I will survive, and life will continue to unfold ...

I need only trust that I will get through it ... I won't be lost at sea ... I won't be destroyed by any of the storms I encounter ... I won't perish alone and afraid ...

I WILL find a new land far from the paralyzing fear ...

And today I know it WILL happen !!

Dayenu !!

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I always like these kind of comments ...

Today someone visited the posting from January 2007 entitled God Doesn't Hate Goths and left the following comment:

I am a christian and a goth... well sorta... and came across godhatesgoths.com. At first I was OUTRAGED that anyone who claims to be a christian... to know the one living God... could possibly imagine that he could hate anyone!!!

Then I came across the link to godhateswomen and godhatesretards and some others and realized that these are all lies straight from satan himself!

Thank you so much for having this website because I can only imagine how many souls must have been turned away from God by those awful lies.... also the godhateschildren was enough to make any parent...who didnt realize or know what a lie that was... to keep their children away from god forever! It just makes me so sad when I see the way satan works and how sneaky he can be!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you so much pastor...

The only thing I can say to my anonymous poster is - YOU'RE WELCOME, and Thank You for your words !!!

In this moment there is NO doubt at all, that God is ALL about LOVE !!!

I'm Actually Proud to Be Canadian Today (Thanks Dr Morgentaler!!)

Every once in a while something happens that is just RIGHT.

This week's appointment of Dr Henry Morgentaler to the Order of Canada would apparently be one of those moments ... and today, CBC.ca has an article on the "division" this appointment has had on our so-called Just Society (click here to read the article) .

I was delighted to hear that Dr Morgentaler was FINALLY given our nation's highest civilian honour for the struggle, the achievement and the work that he has put into his crusade for the FREEDOM of CHOICE when it comes to women's reproductive rights. (I posted about this previously)

While personally I don't favour abortions, as one who will never bear a child himself, I don't feel it is my place, nor the place of any one else to interfer with the RIGHTS of women to decide for themselves such matters. Our responsibility as a civil society, something we Canadians take great pride in touting, is to ensure safe access to such procedures.

Doctor Morgentaler made this his life's mission, and he has more than his share of struggles in achieving it ... threats, violence, bombings ... all enacted under the banner of "Pro-Life" opponents who have been a tad off-base in their actions ...

So, one can (and WILL) agree with the appointment, and we've heard of a BC priest with a somewhat checkered past insisting he WILL return his Order of Canada in protest, but the bottom line is that THIS time, with THIS appointment, the Order of Canada has rewarded someone who willingly battled for the RIGHTS of Freedom and Choice for ALL CANADIANS.

I can think of no more honourable cause that FREEDOM, and today I personally can think of no more honourable Canadian to receive this honour that a survivor of the Nazi Holocaust, who championed FREEDOM by risking his safety and life.

Congratulations Dr Morgentaler - I'm proud to be a Canadian today thanks to YOU and your worthy cause !!

There is NO doubt in MY mind that you have EARNED this:

A historical tid-bit ...

I've said it a thousand times - "it ain't over till the fat lady sings ..." and not once did I ever think about where that ubiquitous phrase came from ... until today ...

I was looking something up online when I stumbled across a news item about the passing of Da Cook, a former sports writer for the San Antonio Express-News who is attributed with being the first to utter the phrase - "the opera ain't over until the fat lady sings ..." on air in 1978.

Reportedly, the phrase was first published two years earlier and itself was a variation on an older Southern comment ...

Regardless, today the Fat lady has apparently stepped up to the microphone and begun the song that drops the curtain on the life of Dan Cook, who died at the age of 81 ... He left the world an impressive legacy in his immortal 8 words ... 8 words uttered countless times by hundreds of thousands of people ... Good Work Don !!

Oh, and in other news former US Senator Jesse Helms has died at the age of 86 ... personally, I'm more impressed with Mr Cook's legacy than Mr Helms ... but that's just me !!

Fellow Bloggers in the News ...

I was getting caught up with the news today online when I stumbled across the article at CBC.CA entitled: "High-tech worship: God is just a mouse click away", only to discover that the article has comments by Aaron McCarroll Gallegos, who blogs over at "Alma's Soulfood".

Way to go Aaron !!!

The sad thing for me is the absolute failure of many in the United Church - the denomination who in many ways has pioneered online communication since the days of Ecunet (remember that??) - to fully embrace the potential and possibilty of online communication. The attempt at censorship of Blogs is a shining example of the FAILURE of people to understand, comprehend AND embrace this medium as a way of BEING church.

The article clearly shows there is a willingness to connect through cyberspace to worship experiences, and from my journey in cyberspace I've learned that there are MANY people who want more than a milque-toast theological experience ... unfortunately, the reins are still being tightly held by folks who operate out of ignorance and most ominously - FEAR.

Change is not to be regarded as a good thing, and so they seek to stifle change and silence those voices who dare to speak out ...

Thank God for the likes of Vospers and McCarroll Gallegos, who continue to be the lone voices in the wilderness that has become The United Church of Canada ...

Happy Fourth of July !!

For my American Readers ... Have a great day, enjoy your time with friends and family, and know that your Canadian cousins WISH you a HAPPY 4th of JULY !!!!

A Canada Day Hat Trick ...

For the first time in 14 years, I am spending Canada Day without running kids to special events, joining in the fun, then ending the day watching Fireworks after the sun goes down ...

The three kids are travelling with M westward as I write this ... earlier they called enroute from Calgary to Kamloops to say they've passed Golden ... about now they are likely up in the Roger's Pass taking in the breath-taking scenery of the Mountains ...

There is perhaps no better place to spend Canada Day than the rugged Rocky Mountains ...

So ... my way of wishing all of you - and my kids a Happy Canada Day is by offering this Hat Trick of Canadian Videos ... Enjoy !!

A Canada Day Bonus !!!

William Shatner - Proud Canadian !!!!




I'm glad he doesn't take himself to seriously ... Happy Canada Day Bill !!!

Gotta to GET to Gunn ...

.

GUNN LAKE that is !!

.

And today I did ...

16.5 kms in,

16.5 kms out,

with a couple of kms of exploring ...

IT was beautiful,

and well worth it!!

,

(I decided the trail from Lake Audy

through Whitewater and on to Gunn

was a bit to daunting,

so I took the Baldy Lake Trail instead ...

a longer drive to get there, with a shorter trail to bike)

Images of the trail ...

Some of the critters I met along the way ...

(and it was close enough that I didn't need to use the zoom !!)

.
(these two used a very slight zoom)

Scenes from along the way ...

A few glimpses of the place I visited on my way back from the bike ride ...

Marconi School, a gem tucked in a hidden corner:


The road stretching to infinity:

An abandoned house:
The Church at Olha:

Another look at the Church at Olha:

The Centennial Marker for the Ukrainian Settlement near Olha:

The Mass Grave from a Scarlett Fever out break that claimed 45 lives:

On a quiet hill, a place of deep memory:

...