"What shall I do today ????"

It would appear that Flute's theme song has become Pippi Longstocking's "O What shall I do today" along with the mischievous nature that the red headed cherub brought to life both in print and on stream. It's a safe bet though, that Flute could teach Pippi a few things ...

Last night Flute was savagely attacking the love seat in my living room. Our first thought was that one of her chew toys had fallen into the crack at the back of the cushions ... WRONG!!!

The digging continued after we searched in vain for a toy ... investigating it further I was HORRIFIED to discover a wide assortment of crumbs, vitrified food stuffs and other unidentifiable detritus ... three children claimed innocence on the chunks of toast (or dried bread) that came up out of the deep dark recesses of the love seat ... Thinking about it this morning, it is possible they are indeed innocent ... Flute's list of consumed and otherwise chewed on items is nothing short of impressive:

- four loaves of bread (three whole wheat and one raisin)
- one jar of Nutella
- one jar of Peanut butter
- four (and counting) bran muffins (THANKFULLY, NOT all at once!!)
- one pair of winter boots (Ms. H's)
- one pair of hiking boots (Mine)
- one pair of running shoes (Mine)
- one blanket (Flute's - a two dollar ValuVillage special)
- one package of croissants
- one bowl of chicken fat and skimmings (at M's - did in the bowl too!!)
- one set of Build-a-Bear fancy dress shoes (Ms. H's)
- one wall map of Canada
- one gift package from the Veternarian
- one bag of dog food (obviously she thought it was self serve THAT DAY!!)
- many bowls of cat food
- one extension cord (it was PLUGGED IN at the time!!)

... and then of course there was the four day fiasco of the baby gates:

I wanted to keep Flute penned in while I went to work, and she would have NOTHING to do with the two kennels we have for that purpose ... the metal kennel is bent from her frantic fight to escape (something she managed to do on the first day by pulling the latches apart with her teeth!!!)

Wanting to be a bit more civilized, I penned her in the back room with a baby gate ... a single baby gate was a waste of time ... she was over it no doubt seconds after the front door closed ...

So, a second baby gate was purchased and placed firmly on top of the first ...

At lunch that day I returned to find Flute lying happily on the love seat, awaiting my arrival. The gates we pulled down and lying on the floor in the hall way ...

Naive to the core. That night I installed wooden strapping to hold the gates in place. The next morning I admired my handiwork and left Flute behind TWO baby gates held firmly in place with wooden strapping firmly affixed to the wall !!!

Oh, what a fool am I ...

At lunch that day I returned to find Flute again sitting happily on the love seat, and the gates seemingly untouched ... at the end of lunch I returned her to the back room and closed the gates ... I turned away from her momentarily and when I turned back she was staring at me over the TOP of the two baby gates ... her tail wagging almost three feet from the floor !!!!

With comedic timing, she blinked then looked up and side to side as though to reassure me that she wasn't about to climb over, but was merely inspecting the gates and the surrounding walls and ceiling ...

"Get down!!" I growled, and she complied with haste equal to that she had exhibited in attaining her perch.

I then foolishly secured a metal mesh over the top of the gates and left for work, confident that I had finally prevailed in this battle of wits ...

BOY, was I wrong ...

My phone rang at the end of the afternoon and Ms H informed me that Flute got out ... "leave everything alone, I want to know how!!!!"

Later, an examination of the gate and metal mesh revealed the metal mesh was bent and mis-shapen by her egress ...

Still undaunted, I bought several yards of clear acrylic that I then secured to the gates with glue, and staples to prevent dear sweet Flute from climbing the gate. I presumed that if she couldn't get her claws into the mesh of the gates she couldn't climb over ...

The next morning I left for work having feeling very very confident that she would be securely ensconced behind the gates when I returned home at lunch time ...

As they say - Pride precedeth a fall ...

I returned home twelve minutes later.

TWELVE MINUTES !!! I checked the clock when I pulled out of the drive way and when I came back ... TWELVE MINUTES later I stood in the hall way and was confronted with the image of Flute surrounded by the shredded remnants of the acrylic plastic that has been stripped from the gates !!!!!!

Twelve minutes for her to reduce two hours of work to trash !!!!

Twelve minutes to show me that I had well and clearly lost the battle of wits !!!!

Twelve minutes ...

Now Flute spends her days on the above mentioned Love seat surrounded by an assortment of chew toys and other items that are HER'S, and thus far she has not wreaked havoc on my house while we are away at work and school ... but no doubt as the front door closes, the song - "O what shall I do today??" begins to play ...

Life with Flute is many things, but boring is not an apt descriptor ...

(oh - the photo is Ms H's!!!)