Yesterday I mused on the public implosion of young "stars" with names like Britanny, Jamie Lynn and Paris ... Today my kids are plopped in front of the TV watching a Hannah Montana Marathon on Family Channel ...This morning as I reviewed the comments left on my posting yesterday I got thinking about the Heroes and Role Models we offer our children and each other. I don't expect people to be without flaws and faults, but as the parent of three young people who possess a strong ethic and an even stronger understanding of what's right and wrong, I readily admit to some concern about the role models they chose to emulate as teens and pre-teens will.
After watching a number of interviews with Miley Cyrus (who plays Hannah Montana), and having read enough about her "private" life, I am more comfortable with my girls holding her up as a role model than some of the others in the Disney stable ... any 15 year old star who still gets grounded by her mother is still living in the realm of being a real person.
BUT, having said that, I also admit to the reality that Katie B named in her comment yesterday - the celebrities are no different from the rest of us ... and anyone living under the unrelenting criticism and scrutiny of the media machine fueled by the tabloids (both print and video), is sure to fail ... I feel only sympathy for the likes of Britanny, Jamie, Paris and the other party girls who have seemingly spun out of control ... I have no doubt they are beautiful young women who have simply wilted under the scorching glare of a public desperate to pick fault with the beautiful people ...
I remember a First Nations elder in Bella Coola likening human behaviour to a plastic ice cream bucket full of crabs ... he said when one of the crabs begins to crawl over the edge of the bucket the others haul him down ... "we're like that," He observed, "when one of of us gets successful or begins to stand out, the others pull him back down ... we can't let someone achieve without picking fault and pulling them down to make ourselves feel better ..."
Sadly though, we don't make ourselves feel nor look any better by watching the implosion of such lives through our tabloid media or through our malicious gossip ... instead of dealing with the issues in our own lives we can gain momentary freedom by thinking we will feel better through the comparison to such "faulty" celebrities ...
The real issue then becomes - given the frailty of humanity and our inherent propensity to trip ourselves up, who will we hold up as heroes and role models when those held up by the media fail so miserably ... A year ago this week the kids and I were back in Ontario where for the first time as a family we stood before the granite panel where my father's name is etched as a memorial to his death on duty as an Ontario Provincial Police Officer. The Memorial itself has the reminder that Dad and the other fallen officers were heroes in life, not death ...
Thinking back on our trip, and considering the tabloid horror show that continues to unfold around us, I have in recent days found myself pondering what should constitute a hero for the modern era. There are many we can look up to as heroes providing first and foremost we continue to allow them to be the wonderful humans they are ... As I further thought about this I realized that in the days before Christmas I found encountered three people in town that I hold up as personal heroes:
One is a young man who has encountered challenge after challenge ... he walks with a laboured gait, and has received numerous rounds of assistance and help for challenges he faces in his young life ... my journey with him and his family began not long after I arrived in town and was asked to preside at the marriage of his uncle ... along the way we've said good bye to his Grandparents,AND most importantly heralded the announcement of his mother's pregnancy and his subsequent birth. His arrival was not without its issues, but no matter what life has thrown his way, with a sweet smile and a gentle yet steely will, he has wrestled with and overcome each challenge.
His life may never be easy, and he may always struggle with things but last week at the school Christmas Concert watching him step up to the microphone and speak his part brought tears to my eyes because I know what his young life has struggled with ... he may be a child - but he is definitately one of my heroes.
My second hero is a young man who offers an easy grin and a nonchalant shrug when you ask him "how are you?" ... His journey in life took an unexpected turn when serving in Afghanistan he became a victim of a suicide bomber. The damage to his body, mind and soul was enormous, but his will to live was stronger still.
His journey of recovery continues ... but along the way the love and support of his family, and the steely will he's shown over and over fills me with an overwhelming sense of awe. I feel privileged and honoured to know him, and to have been welcomed in by his family as they've made the long journey back from a horrible afternoon in Afghanistan ... He too is one of my personal heroes ...
My third hero is an aged warrior who once served on the battlefields of Europe in the Tank Corps. He returned home with a new bride and together they raised a family and ran a farm. I've known him as a retired gentleman with an easy wit and a quiet intensity and determination.
I look back with fondness on the times I've been able to have extended conversations with both he and his wife. We've talked of many things, but our conversations about his experiences in the war loom large in my recollections. But his comment to me the day he and his wife returned to Minnedosa from the west in early 2006 stands out for me ...
They had been away when the Church fire happened ... he was sitting in his truck behind the Credit Union, to his right was a vacant lot where the Church once stood ... he opened truck door and looked at me with a stern face and said: "I go away for a few weeks and trust you to look after MY church and YOU let this happen ..." his head motions to where the church once stood, "NICE JOB !!!"
There were tears in BOTH our eyes as a small smile curled the corner of his mouth and he began to share with me what the loss of the building meant to him ... Since then he has remained a steadfast friend and an bending support ... His wisdom and counsel has been valued and cherished, particularly in the darkest moments ...
For me - these three rank highly in my list of heroes and role models ... each of them have their faults and have, and will continue to make mistakes ... but what makes them stand out is the strength they bring to the challenges life has thrown their way ... the steely will they exhibit when life has taken a turn is breath-taking ... and the gentle humour and wit they offer throughout life is an inspiration ... and so it is for that reason that I believe that they deserve to be heroes ...
Too bad our media can't see the countless heroes that live around each and every one of us ... ordinary people who live ordinary, yet extra-ordinary lives ...
Maybe if each of us start heralding the heroes we encounter day by day, then maybe the media will stop chewing up and spitting out people who are ordinary people swept away by extra-ordinary circumstances ...
Maybe one day ... but maybe, just maybe the process has to start with each of us ...
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