I do not doubt for a moment I was called to ministry ... I remember the moment ... I have endured the struggle ... I even fought it ...But the call was real and it has never lessened ... as I write these words I am no longer welcomed in Pastoral Charge Ministry within the Church that I grew up within and where I have shared the last 20 years of my ministry ... and I no longer feel comfortable nor welcome worshipping within the congregations of that Denomination either ... I have become spiritually homeless ... yet in saying that, I can affirm that for the first time since the call first rolled over my being, I feel like I am doing real ministry ...
My work today is about seeking to make a difference in concert with a spectrum of service providers, government agencies and departments and people who see the real needs of the homeless and the at risk of homeless and say boldly - "SOMETHING has to be done!!" and have together set out to not only do that something, but to be that something. The work we do, though not enough, is making a real difference one day at a time, and THAT my friends is real ministry.
It was interesting to me to pop over to FollowingFrodo to see what my colleague in ministry Gord is up to, only to discover a posting musing on the Role of Ministry, and connecting on to two other postings musing on the same issue ...
For Gord's posting on The Role of Ministry - click here
For Cheesehead's posting on What *IS* my job anyway - click here
And for Jan's posting at A Church for Starving Artists on Staffing - click here
As I read the three postings and the accompanying comments, I couldn't help but wonder if the problem is simply a failure of our LEADERSHIP to accept change, to encourage change, and to stand behind those voices who are about change ??
Looking back in my career I can say that I was called by my last two pastoral charges to do a specific task. In both cases it was to open the doors of the Sanctuary and welcome in the community around the Congregation that had seemingly drifted away ... I launched myself enthusiastically at the task ... I went out and became visible in the community, I got involved in thing "the minister didn't usually do," I invited in the community and I made the experience of Church current, relevant and most of all WELCOMING.
The old guard in both places were happy with the financial bottom line improving ... and they begrudgingly tolerated the newcomers ... but then, the newcomers wanted to get involved in committees and on the boards ... the new comers weren't interested in preserving the status quo, but wanted to change the way things are to include them ... the new comers wanted things different ... and I was not willing to be hemmed in by tired dated expectations ... I am a minister who will speak out ... I am a minister who will roll up his sleeves and get involved ... I am a minister who can be shrill and critical of things that are dysfunctional, toxic and unhealthy ... and I will cow-tow to NO ONE.
Things ended badly in both pastoral charges ...
... and rather than help Congregations face the changing reality around them, both Presbyteries I served in cast me in the role of Scapegoat and posited on my shoulders ALL of the BLAME for the crises, conflict and problems that enveloped the Pastoral Charge, the Pastoral Relationship and my own life ... Looking back, I can shoulder some of the blame in that I was responsible for stirring the pot and over-reacting, but until the others are held responsible for their part in the dramas that marked those pastoral relationships, there is no just nor true solution to the crises, and the problems will continue to fester.
I place the failure of leadership, not at the Pastoral Charge level, but at the level of Presbytery and Conference, for failing to hold people accountable in a fair and equitable way for their actions. As minister I am not called to be a chaplain, nor a meek gentle shepherd. My calling is to be a teacher, a leader and a prophet who like Jacob has wrestled with his night-time visitor and who has glimpsed the possibility of a faith-filled future being open to God's Will.
Does this mean that I am perfect, without flaw and infallible? Quite the contrary ... I am most of all profoundly human, and my frailties and weakness will sometimes get the better of me ... in that moment though, our greatest weakness becomes our greatest strength. Ministers are real flesh and blood people, we are not without our faults and foibles ... we are like everyone else, and do not belong on, nor want to be on a pedestal.
At the end of the day however, the challenge of the Church - that is the calling of the greater Church (Presbytery and Conference and beyond) is not to sacrifice the minister as a scapegoat when problems arise, but the calling of the greater Church is to SUPPORT the ministers in those places that are actively (and at times aggressively) resisting and even fighting change ... In my journey no one had my back, and the "friendly" fire I took from behind was as equally nasty as the unfriendly fire I took from in front ...
The reality in the 21st Century is that the Modern Church is in a serious space of decline ... it may even be dying ... and instead of finding new and creative ways of being the church, we have instead begun to cling more tightly to what once was ... our voices are muted and whispered ... we speak in comforting tone like those used in funeral parlours ... we use euphemisms to soften the reality and heighten the sense of comfort and nostalgia ... we play our soft background music and surround ourselves in soft muted tones ... we deny reality and hope that our quiet environment will be neither disrupted nor disturbed ...
Those voices that rub against that illusion are quickly and ruthlessly ushered out the door and silenced ...
Instead of embracing change and letting the resurrection happen, the followers of Jesus have instead of standing by the empty tomb rejoicing - "HE HAS RISEN!!" instead are desperately trying to roll the stone back and create a members only social club where only the select few are allowed to share in the secret ...
What is the role of minister??
Not to be complacent nor passive ... it's time for action !!!
I'm proud of my history in ministry, and today I weep for the Church that can see a deeply troubled and divided congregation that is crying out in Pain and say blithely - "It's okay." while driving out leadership with a passion for the Church ... but as I stand as one driven out ... I can only trust in God that one day the resurrection will happen and the stone will not be just rolled away ... it will be cast away and a NEW CHURCH will come into being that truly welcomes in EVERYONE, not just the select few who carry the right political affiliation, and who pretend everything is fine ...
One day - it WILL happen ... and I'll add a hearty "HALLELUJAH !!!!" to my enthusiastic "I TOLD YA SO !!!"
Thanks be to God.
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