Saturday, June 02, 2007

My Black Dog ...

Winston Churchill once said of depression that it was like a black dog ... it accompanies you throughout your life, and even though there are times when it is off playing somewhere else, perhaps out of view beyond a hill, it never really leaves you. Then there are some times when the ubiquitous black dog comes and takes a firm hold of you and drags you where you may not want to go ... One writer even described his experience of depression with the phrase: "Into the Jaws of the Black Dog ..."

I know ALL about that black dog, and I have to say that Churchill's description is apt ...

It's all part of the journey of depression ...

It's all part of a journey I have known and know too well ...

I thought my black dog was off somewhere playing and leaving me alone, but the other day he came bounding back and knocked me on my back ...

I don't enjoy my bouts of depression ... but I also no longer fear them ... like the tides and the seasons - in time it changes and passes ... this is one of those times ...

It's not an expression of weakness to say - "I'm experiencing a bout of depression ..." It's merely owning the reality of this moment ...

So - I'm experiencing a bout of depression ... the factors that lead to it are many and varied ... and the outcome is unknown ... for now I'll worry about tomorrow when it comes ... Right now my black dog has a firm grip on me and is pulling me to place I don't really like going, but to fight him is sometimes counter productive ...

I know I'll be alright - in time.
I know my depression will pass - in time.
I know I'll be okay - in time ...

I also know that TODAY, I'm caught in the jaws of my own black dog ... I guess I have to accept that ...

For now though, I think I'll name him Montgomery ... and I'll look forward to the day he heads off over the horizon for awhile ...

1 comment:

wendy said...

bless you for being so honest and bless you while the black dog visits.