A friend indeed ...

I've been doing a lot of thinking about friendship lately ... This past week I challenged myself to find the positives in my daily life, and to not only take note of them, but to remember them so that at the end of the day I could compile an inventory of the positive moments that had occurred.

It has actually become quite a list ... But what struck me most was the advice of a dear friend to stop feeling so lonely all the time and to take into consideration the people who could and should and are to be regarded as friends - the people who are there for me as I move through my day ... This week I began to notice the presence in my life of many people I am honoured to call friends ...

Tonight on my midnight bike ride (yes, I was riding around town in the dark - full tilt - thinking, praying, weeping, working through some stuff), I got thinking more about what it means to be and to have a friend ... And I remembered the best compliment I think I've ever been offered ...

It went something like this:

I was sitting having a beer with my best friend since childhood. We were both back from University for a short period before the next season of classes started. D was sharing with me a conversation he had had with P (a mutual friend who I had had a recent falling out with).

D said - "Yeah, P. thinks you're a real asshole."

I shrugged. He had good reason to think that, I couldn't argue the point.

D continued, "So the other day P said 'Shawn's a real asshole and wouldn't do anything for anybody.' and I said to him - 'Now that's not true! He might act like an asshole from time to time, but if I was ever in trouble, or needed help, or just needed someone to come and lend a hand, I know that it wouldn't matter what time it was, it wouldn't matter where I was, it wouldn't matter where he was - if I phoned Shawn and said - 'help me,' he would be there as soon as he could be ... cause that's the kind of friend he is. He might be an ass at times, but the chips are down, he'll never let you down ..."

I was blown away ... it's been over 20 years since I heard those words ... and I've tried in every relationship I've had to live the truth of that compliment ... I am proud to be a person who would do just about anything for a friend. I would lay it on the line for them ... and I have regularly ...

Unfortunately, the naivete of that propensity has also been savagely abused by those who falsely claimed to be a friend and had no interest in friendship at all ... but I won't revisit past hurts ... The sting of betrayal is enough ...

Tonight, as I rode my bike I thought about the people around me who I regard as friend ... and I know I would be willing to do just about anything for them ... and I'm glad that many of them would quickly and quietly reciprocate ... and some of them have ... and the one's that don't - well, in their inaction, they illustrate the value of our so-called friendship ...

There is much to be thankful for ... Tonight, I can say with certainty that I DO have many good friends - both in this community and beyond, friends who will be, and have been there for me ... and the rest ? ... well, I leave that where it belongs - in the gutter and the muck ...

My true friends will always have my back, and I will ALWAYS have theirs ... and that is more than enough !!! L'chaim !!