At the end of the day ...

It's funny how things turn out sometimes ...

One Friday I mused on gossip and the effect and outcome that it has had, not only in my life, but in the lives of those friends I have been surrounded with. In the blog entry "Lessons from my Totem" I shared a letter I had recieved in the mail that day that offered sage wisdom on the impact Gossip and how to face and overcome it ...

Then on Friday night as I was getting ready for bed I picked up the Al-anon book "Courage to Change" I read the following words:

I remember others' unkind words vividly. Criticism sent me reeling. Snickers crippled me for days. It never occureed to me that I was being abused, or that the harsh words could be untrue. Everyone seemed to know just how wrong I was, and my identity was bound up in a knot of shame. My self-esteem sank lower and lower.

I in turn, treated others cruelly. I found it great fun to assault someone's character in the company of friends. For a fw minutes I felt better about myself - but not for long, and only at other people's expense. Gossip never enriched anyone's character. It was only an excuse to avoid focusing on myself.

Today's Reminder:
Many of us tend to react rather than act. When we hurt, we may want to strike out and hurt someone else. In Al-anon we learn that we can interrupt this automatic response long enough to decide how we really want to behave.

Someone else's unkindness is no reason for me to lower my standards for my own behaviour. When I take responsibility for my actions, regardless of what other people do, I become someone I can be proud of. When I feel good about myself, it's much easier NOT to take insults personally.

It would seem that the lessons of my totem continue ... and on Friday it came from MORE than one source ...

Now the challenge is to live those lessons and to help others being torn down by the senseless and malicious violence to the soul and self-esteem that Gossip represents.