BREAK THROUGH !!!

The way a man penetrates the world should be the same way he penetrates his woman: not merely for personal gain or pleasure, but to magnify love, openess and depth ...

... Most men's ultimate reason for doing anything, has to do with discovering their deepest truth, enjoying total freedom and love, and giving thier FULLEST gifts ...

... if you are willing to discover and embrace your truth, lean through your fears, and give everything you've got, you can penetrate the world and your woman fromthe very core of your being and bloom them into love without limit ...

... no gifts left ungiven. NO limit to the depth of being. Only openess, freedom, and love as the legacy of your intercourse with women AND WORLD. -David Deida

I DO NOTHING HALF MEASURE ...

I have ALWAYS lived life fully and with passion ... if I'm in for a penny, I'm in for a pound ...

Yet, over and over and over, I have been rejected, cast aside, used and abused by those I have opened my heart and my life to ...

The sting of rejection has been real ... and has served only to deepen my sense of inadequacy and failing ...

This weekend, I leaned into my fear and realized HOW profound my insecurities REALLY are ... I can say that I have operated for 40 years NOT feeling worthy, not feeling capable, not feeling lovable ... and because of it, I have never felt good enough, and today I realized that I have never really been comfortable enough with myself to freely like who I am ...

It was a HARD realization ...

But in that moment came the voices of my friends ... and what my psychologist dubbed "fan base" that helped me inventory the positives about myself ... and it became quite a list very quickly ... a list I can and AM proud of ...

As I drove home from Winnipeg and went back to work I realized that those people who would reject me and cast me aside - those who would abuse me and use me - those that have treated me like crap and have lied to and about me ... well, my revelation was - TO HELL WITH YOU !!!

They operate out of fear or jealous ... they were able to affect hurt on me because I LET IT HAPPEN ...

I will no longer be embarassed nor ashamed by my abilities ... I WILL continue to live life without hesitation or reservation (my foot firmly on the accelerator) AND most of all - I will like myself for who I AM and NO LONGER APOLOGIZE FOR BEING ME !!!!

Today I realized that the ONLY way I can achieve WHOLENESS is by liking me and accepting who I am AS I AM ... and if people can't handle it - THEN IT IS THEIR PROBLEM NOT MINE!!!

I will no longer live or die on the opinions of others.

AND I will NO longer live a quiet life of desperation that is slowly killing my soul ... I'll live life on my terms and conditions ...

Like Deida says - I WILL penetrate ALL aspects of my world from the depth of my being, and with NO apologizes ... and if people reject me - it's THEIR LOSS ... and I KNOW it is REALLY THEIR LOSS !!!

I LIKE ME ... and starting today I live accordingly.