I started yesterday open to all possibilities ... my goal was to create a positive day in the midst of a maelstrom of change and turmoil I've been experiencing lately ...By last night as I closed my eyes I could look back on an incredible day filled with wonderful conversations, enlightened moments, and signs and wonders that filled the time with awe ...
It started by listening to the words of David Deida who I am reading once again ... but it unfolded by receiving lesson after lesson from contact with friends, both old and new ...
In the morning I spent time reviewing the workings of one of the service providers in Brandon with the director ... our conversation covered the many and diverse aspects that are under their umbrella of service. But what drew me was the services they offer to women in abusive circumstances.
The director reminded me that no all abuse is physical. We then talked about the heart-wrenching propensity of women to overlook the verbal, emotional and spiritual abuse by saying - "I still love him ..." and try to work things out when the best thing they can do is simply walk away ...
We talked for sometime about the cycles that play out and how without friends and support women often never break free and live lives of desperation and fear believing that this is all they are entitled to ...
Later in the day I had lunch with a friend who is on a journey of healing and transformation, and who is struggling with issues of self-esteem and self-worth ... She can't see her self the way those around her clearly can ... We laughed and spent a lot of our time talking about re-visioning OURSELVES as we create a new reality for ourselves ...
The rest of the afternoon was a blur of conversations, computer work and papers passing over my desk in an undulating wave ...
Then in the evening I had a conversation with a friend who is feels unworthy and insecure ... we talked for a long time about the verbal and emotional abuse she experienced at the hands of her partner for years ... as she shared her experiences I thought of a conversation I once had with a First Nations Elder many years ago ...
I shared it with her ... The elder said the problem he sees in his community is that too many people are weighted down by problems and burdens that have pushed them to the ground and prevent them from seeing the road ahead or continuing to move forward ... He paused and said - "you know, the only way someone can climb on your back, or place a burden there is if you let them ..."
He then watched the blue-green water of the river we were sitting beside flow by for a few minutes before speaking again ... "We need to stop bending down and letting people put their crap on our back, or climb on themselves ... we have to stand proud and straight and keep those things off our back ..."
As I recounted this story with my friend, I thought about the many people I know who are heavily burdened, and how if they only learned to stand up straight they could achieve so much ...
Today the strongest lesson I learned was that sometimes our friends are able to see us and the circumstances in which we live more clearly that we can ... because when we are weighted down, our vision is fixed on the ground at our feet rather than at the horizon of possibility that lies ahead ...
Yesterday I was reminded of not just the horizon of what can be ... but more importantly I was reminded of how to keep heading in that direction ...
One step at a time ... and with friends like I have ... it WILL be a good journey ... today I continue it ...
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