...Times that you feel you are part of the scenery ...

This morning spun out of control early ... too many things going on ... voices raised ... tired children who hadn't gone to bed when they should have last night ... trying to do all the stuff that SHOULD have been done on Friday night, or yesterday afternoon ... I rushed out the door late ... forgetting too many pieces of my day ...

By the time I turned onto the highway I was a winding up a bit too tight ... "oh well, I have a 40 minutes drive in ..." I thought as I popped in a CD: "Supertramps' Breakfast in America ..."

With the volume absolutely cranked ... I hit the road and intended to just let the familiar music simply wash over me ... yet, in their familiarity the words of the songs spoke to the VERY place I've found myself ... a place of transition ... a place where I feel dis-connected and uncertain ... a place where there are more questions than answers ... a place where I am intentionally finding my way ... and confronting my edge of fear ...

As I listened to the music, I heard the words in a different way ...

Can there be any better song for a stress filled Monday morning than "The Logical Song?"

And as "Take the Long Way Home" and "Lord is it Mine" played I felt heartened ... and calmed ... they reminded me that THIS place is not unique ... others have been, and are there too ...

But the soulful "Lord is it Mine" reminded me that I MUST be present to the quiet place I am finding myself in ... a place of silence ... a place to not only name, but to confront my fears ... a place to sit in the quiet and dark and own the loneliness that I have so long tried in vain to avoid ... from this quiet place, I will IN TIME find my way ... it won't be today, and it may not be tomorrow ... but one day I will move from this place to where I WANT and DESERVE to be ...

It's been a long couple of years ... I've lost much ... but I still have much ... my challenge today is to stay centred in this moment and to NOT rush any of what is happening around me ... I need to trust, in the journey that in time I will find myself moving from a place of darkness to a place of light ...

It will happen ... today, it was helpful to get a little reminder: