Saturday, November 24, 2007

The Kiss ...

The simple act of kissing is an important gesture in human cultures ... it transcends time and place, and connects us as people with one another, as well as with our common humanity ... I remember many kisses in my life ...

There are the bed time kisses I give and get from my babies ... the nightly tucking in isn't complete until kisses are exchanged ... it's a gift from parent to child and back again.

There are the kisses given and recieved in love and passion ... etched in our body memory, some of them linger long after the relationship may have faded and the passion has passed ...

There are kisses of betrayal - Judas' Kisses - that mark the breaking of relationship and bring only pain and suffering ... I remember a Judas Kiss in my life well ... I trusted them as friends, I went to bat for them, I risked everything at their REQUEST, only to be stabbed in the back repeatedly, while they lied to my face and feigned their innocence ... it is still a bitter moment in my life, I wish I could be gracious like Jesus was to the original Judas, but I'm NOT there yet ...

There are the kisses of greeting and departure offered between friends ...

There are kisses that are deeply emeshed in the culture - kisses of greetings on both cheeks ... the kiss of peace ... a kiss on the back of a hand ... a kiss on the forehead ... each one carries love and care and builds a relationship ...

Kisses can be commonplace or memorable ... it's all in the attitude of the giver and the reciever ...

For me one memorable kiss came several years ago in a care home in Waterloo ... we had travelled back to visit my maternal Grandmother in the weeks before her death ... I had never said "Good Bye" to Grandma in all the years I visited with her as an adult. Instead we would opt for a kiss and a casual "see you later," rather than "good bye." I wonder in retrospect if it was a way of denying Grandma's increasing chronological age, and avoiding the reality that one day she would die.

This time though, it was different. It was obvious to all that her life was ebbing away. She wasn't afraid, but was ready for whatever lies beyond this life. We had come home to say our good byes before she passed.

So that afternoon as we headed to Toronto to hop on a flight back home, I lingered in her room, offered her a gentle hug and a kiss on the cheek, then with tears in my eyes and hers, I said - "Well, Grandma maybe this time it really will be Good Bye."

She nodded, and a tear fell from my eye, as I said simply, "I love you, and I will miss you ..."

She nodded and said, "Be good to my babies ..." as she smiled at Beetle who was perched on her bed smiling back at her, and she patted Beetle's hand.

"I will," I said, as I offered one last kiss and said another "Good Bye."

In the elevator to the main floor and as I walked to the car holding Beetle's hand, I wept like a baby ... it was my last Good Bye to a woman I continue to love and miss terribly. But I take solace in the memory of a simple kiss and the chance to say "Good Bye."

The kiss is a gift ... a gift to be savoured and remembered and celebrated!! A gift that comes in many forms and should never be treated lightly, though it SHOULD be partaken with a light and loving heart !!

1 comment:

shauna said...

What a wonderful post. My grandmother passed away about three years ago and I was with her the last week of her life. One of the few moments I was alone with her, and a moment I knew she was lucid, I leaned down close to her and told her how much I loved her. I squeezed her hand and said goodbye. She wasn't a very affectionate woman so I didn't kiss her check, but it was one of the most tender moments of my life. This reminded me of that. Thank you.