Just one word:

This morning when I went on line I noticed with some surprise that My Own Woman who blogs over at The Perpetual Search for Personal Nirvana had posted an entry called - "For That Preacher in the Prairie."

Intrigued I popped over there to have a look ... and I was delighted to find an entry offering words of encouragement and support ... Her observation about nerves being raw and exposed rang very true ... This past week I've come to realize that one of the burdens I carry is that I have long ago recognized that there will never be growth nor healing nor wholeness if one doesn't own fully the pain that they feel ... Too many people spin quiet lies to protect themselves and shield themselves from the reality they simply don't want to own up to. Unfortunately for me, I'm not about to let someone I care about simply and blithely continue pretending that everything is OK when it clearly is not - I WILL and I DO speak out ... and I tick off people around me by saying what they simply don't want to hear!!!

How many abusive relationships continue for years because one partner says - "BUT, I love him ..." and denies THEIR personal pain ???

How many people live quiet lives of desperation, blaming EVERYONE else for all the lousy things that happen rather than looking in the mirror and holding THEMSELVES responsible for their lives and their mistakes??

How many people BLAME everyone else for stuff but portray themselves as innocent victims?

How many people will be scape goated by those unwilling to own thier responsibilities and find it easier to posit the blame on the "other" than look at their own lives ???

The list could go on and on ... I see it every day ... I've lived it with those I've called my friends ... I see it in the look of horror that crosses the faces of people who have fallen for and devoured with zeal the lies and nonsense told about in the community by small mind vicious ignorant asses who have nothing better to do than tear everyone else down so they can feel a tiny bit better about thier pathetic meaningless existence !!!

AND I FOR ONE AM TIRED OF IT !!!!

I have never tried to temper the pain I feel ... I wrestle with it ... I struggle with it ... I've spent many a night weeping in the dark praying it could go away ... but it hasn't ...

Instead, I've grown ... I've healed ... and most importantly, I've taken steps towards healing and wholeness ... and along the way have encouraged my friends and those I care deeply for to do the same ...

Some of them have ... but some are simply not ready ... they are not ready to confront their pain-body and own its presence in their lives ... and so they continue to live in a place where they simply HIDE from their pain and their fear and they refuse to enter the long dark night of the soul that is required to reach the healing dawn at the other side ...

Sadly, they erroneously believe that their happiness will come from outside influences and factors ... they compromise themselves and deny themselves a place of wholeness and healing by allowing the story thier pain-body feeds off of to continue unchecked ...

It's sad ... but My Own Woman helped to remind me today that when you begin to accept the reality of THIS MOMENT and own it ... you begin to temper the rawness of exposed nerves ... in short - the pain and fear finally begins to lessen and you trust in the Cosmos to carry you through to where you NEED and DESERVE to be: a place of wholeness, a place of contentment, a place of happiness where you are no longer plagued by niggly little doubts ... but feel whole from within ... (for the record - I'm not there yet - but for the first time I'm pretty sure I can see it from here ... but I'm not worrying about it ... I'm concentrating on THIS MOMENT and being thankful for it, and leaving the past and the future to themselves !!!)

Over at The Perpetual Search for Personal Nirvana though, I found powerful words coupled with a lovely video of a Bruce Cockburn song with images of BC that took me to one of my Axis Mundi's ... and for that I can only offer my profound thanks and say that I am deeply touched and moved by this simple act of kindness ...

THEN, when I came here to create THIS post I found the most lovely comment up stream a bit, left by a blogger known as heartnurse, who blogs over at A Nurse's Life of Quiet Despetation where she periodically posts some reflections and such ... Her comment is very much appreciated:

It is too bad thte UCC has to crucify it's own. But, did you ever notice that those who are guilty and have a guilty conscience always take it out on others. I can see them getting rid of child abusers, which they have not been sucessful at, by the way, but people who have a different opinion and want to speak could make the church grow. People from the outside can easily see this and you will too.The problem with organized religion (any) is that there are people there.


So, to these two women (both of whom are in the healthcare field), I say a hearty thank you ... and offer my appreciation for stopping by, but more importantly, for adding your thoughts ...

You're always welcome here, as are your words and your wisdom !!!