A Life Lesson From a Tree ...

Last night as I was walking with my girls, my thought was rolling over some of the things I've heard from my circle of friends - not the close friends who have walked with me through the deep dark times of the last couple of years, but the friends that have stung me in a number of ways ... as I thought about statements like "It's the story I have to tell myself ...", "We really had no choice ..." and the ever popular, "You don't understand how difficult this was for US ..." my mind recalled the story of The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein ... (it may also be connected to having watched The Lord of the Rings - The Two Towers with TreeBeard, the tree shepherd who rescues Merri and Pippin)

The story of The Giving Tree for those who are acquainted with it is about a little boy and an apple tree who had formed a friendship. In the beginning the little boy would gather her leaves as he played, climb up her trunk, swing from her branches, eat her apples, play hide and go seek, and nap in her shade ...

Then in time the little boy grew up and came less and less to visit the tree ... then one day as a young man he returned and told the Tree he was too old to play but needed money ... So the Tree gave the little boy her apples, and off the boy went ...

He returned years later and again told the Tree he was too old to play, but was in need of a house for his family ... so the Tree gave the boy her branches, and off the boy went ...

Years later he returned again, this time yearning to sail around the world, but having no boat his dream was unrealized ... The Tree offered up her trunk for the now grown boy to build a boat and sail away on it ... and off the Boy went, leaving only a stump behind ...

Finally the boy returned as an elderly man stooped with age ... the Tree can barely contain her excitement, but all the boy is interested in is finding a place to sit ... The Tree, now only a stump straightens herself up and offers him a place to sit ...

And the story ends with the Tree finding her happiness ...

In the Wiki-pedia entry on The Giving Tree, it acknowledges that there is a debate about what the story ultimately means:
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• Is the Tree selfless or foolishly self-sacrificing and is the boy reasonable or selfish??
• Is it a story showing us the difference between our wants and our needs??
• Is the Tree an over-indulgent parent who leaves the boy ill-equipped for real life??
• Is it a hopeful story or a sad tale??
• Or is it a metaphor of humanity's relationship with the world??

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Last night during the walk I had a realization about what this story means to me personally - at the end of the day the Tree remains a steadfast presence for the boy ... when the Boy finally figures out what is really important in life and he has lost EVERYTHING, he returns "home" to the safe place of his youth ... and having mis-used and abused his friend, the Boy finds only a stump ... but the stump (The Tree) welcomes him home ... The Tree has never abandoned the Boy, because the love and care the Tree had for the Boy is unflinching and unfailing ... such is my care for my friends ...

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AND, that is perhaps the strongest lesson of friendship ... I am NOT happy when friends take from me without appreciation or even the expression of a thank you ... nor am I willing to become a cold person who won't do for others ... I will remain present for my friends, even if they chose to wander far from me ...

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I will still do for those I care about ... I will give willingly and happily to them, knowing that I will be abused and misused by some ... and I will, like the tree always be willing to give again and again and again ... I will ALWAYS be there for my friends ... even those who have used and abused me ...

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The Tree offers a powerful example of friendship - being there for those you care deeply for, even if they don't realize it ... and that is ONE example, I'm NOT willing to give up on ... I will ALWAYS be there for those I care about, whether they care or not ... I will always be there, even if it takes years to see those I care about return ...

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This will never change ...