Today ...

Today was a melancholy day ... not a sad day ... just very melancholy ...

It could be because I've had more then my fair share of technological failures and frustrations today ... they didn't help the mood ... but I think it was more then that ...

This afternoon I had the opportunity to just sit in my office and ponder what it is about today that lead to such a feeling of melancholy ... Why had this day gotten so off the tracks?
There are a myriad of possible answers ...
-lingering frustration over almost losing my cel phone last night
- not being able to find ANOTHER mail key for the OTHER group I'm involved in
- grappling with issues of life
- struggling a bit as I ease back into life at work ...

It could have been any one of those issues, or it could be a number of them together, or it could have been any number of any other issues that I haven't thought of yet ... BUT, as I sat in my office I had a revelation of sorts:

Over the past couple of days I've been sorting and reorganizing my library in my office ... it is something I've wanted to do since the fire, but circumstances have prevented it until now ...

As I sorted and reorganized and moved the books I reflected on how fortunate I am to have had my library and the contents of my office survive the fire of February 12th relatively unscathed, but then a wave of grief washed over me ... a deep grief at what we've lost ...

As I picked up my books and moved them I knew in my heart how MUCH MORE we lost that day in February and even though I didn't feel it consciously, I felt it in my heart and my soul wept ...

Today is a melancholy day ... inspite of the sun and the warmth and the beauty of the day ... it was a melancholy day, and some days that's okay ...

Tomorrow will be better ... and even today wasn't all bad either ...